3.5 Y/o Daughter Suddenly Dislikes Grandparents. Please Help, Need Advice!

You are way over thinking this.
Little kids have favorites - all the time - and they switch - sometimes unexpectedly.

At 3 1/2 our son preferred me to his Dad - a LOT.
One time Dad and me were hugging when our son pushed between us, pushed Daddy away and said "My mommy! Get your own mommy!".
He was very angry.
Which rather shocked us!
Such rage in a 3 yr old!
Little kids have big emotions that they sometimes don't know what to do with.

I wouldn't let him be mean to Dad - if he tried then I paid more attention to Dad because it's not nice to hurt peoples feelings.
Being the favorite at the time - I had the power to show him I didn't approve of his treatment of others while of course still loving him.
Jealousy is a normal phase - and he and Dad became best buddies.
They built things together, looked at fire trucks together, etc.

Just don't play into her preference.
Remind her she is loved by many people and while it's ok to like one person more than someone else - being mean to everyone else isn't being nice.
It would help if the favored grandparents showed that they care about the other grandparents.
This will eventually switch up and move on.
The old favorite will be replaced by the new and the cycle will happen many times.

There's no point in asking her 'Why?' - she doesn't know and can't tell you.

She's a preschool age child, she's not going to be able to put her feelings into words yet. She's also going to associate things that make no sense to adults.

I'd take her over at every opportunity and leave her with them. Let them bake cookies or watch Disney movies or play games with her. Let her bond to them on her own level.

As for them having rules, that's okay but perhaps the strong difference between the other set of grandparents and this set of grandparents is vast. Maybe they can put their pretty things up higher so she can't reach them and they'd be making the house a little more kid friendly towards her.

It truly sounds like she isn't really spending time with them like she does with the other set. It seems only normal that she would favor the more familiar and fun grandparents.

This really is a phase. When my daughter was 3, she decided she hated me. We never had the terrible twos, but at 3, it was like an alien invaded my child. She all of a sudden decided she wanted nothing to do with me. I have always been a loving and devoted mother. Perhaps to a fault. She's my only child so I have given her my all.

When she was three, she slowly started pulling away from me. She would wake up and almost be angry to see me. It escalated to one afternoon I will never forget. My father in law was babysitting her while i was at work. I came home from work to relieve my FIL as he had to work also. I walked in the house with a big smile happy to see my baby girl. She took one look at me and freaked out. Ran to her papa and hid behind him begging him not to leave her. She clung to him and would not even look at me. He had to leave or he was going to be late to work. He left and I tried to pick her up and she violently began hitting me and screaming. She scratched my face till it bled. I have never hurt my child or even been mean to her and she was acting like i was a serial killer trying to hurt her. It was the worst experience and i still remember it vividly even tho it was 6 years ago.

I took her to the pediatrician and explained what happened and he said it's just a phase and explained how to handle her when she acted out like that. It lasted a few months and then her behavior completely changed. She went back to being a loving child who was a mama's girl. She is 9 now and we have a great relationship. We always have except for that strange phase she went through when she was 3. Kids do the strangest things and at age 3, they can't articulate what they are feeling and why. This really is a phase that won't last. I wish I had better advice for you, but just wanted you to know you are not alone. My child went through many phases and she is now a well adjusted happy 9 year old. I know there are more phases to come though! Good luck!

Wow! I think there's a huge discrepancy between in laws house & your folks house. Kids can be so smart at such a young age. She obviously gets away with anything at your inlaws. That's gotta be so frustrating for you! I know grandparents spoil their grandkids but this might be a whole new level. I would just keep bringing her over your parents house. I think as she matures she's going to appreciate both houses. She is still a toddler so just hang in there. All the best to you!

I think it really is just a phase. Of course she prefers your in-laws...they never say no and there are kid friends in the neighborhood to play with. It's fun there! I don't think you need to worry about this or take it personally or even think about it much. She will grow older and mature and recognize all the good things about her other grandparents. When she has totally bad behavior with your mom like that, treat it like having bad behavior in general and don't let her get away with it. Time out or consequences...with a firm No, this is NOT good behavior. I personally would make her apologize to grandma. Don't give in to her. She is just 3. 3 year olds can be terribly dramatic. I know my son sure was that way. At age 3 and a half was when he learned the phrase "I hate you" and "I don't want to be your friend anymore" and when he got in trouble or didn't get his way he would scream out these things and try to kick or bang his head. He outgrew it. I just didn't take it personally and still gave him consequences for bad behavior. PS - We went through almost this same thing. At that same age my son preferred my mom who was like your in-laws and just spoiled him nonstop. My husband's parents, on the other hand, were more about trying to create character and could be strict about things. He did not like hanging out with them. He's 13 now. He loves all his grandparents equally.

There are many possibilities. Yes ones that are fairly unthinkable but others that are simple. She may like that she has friends over at grandma and grandpa's house that there are others to play with not just lots of stuff to play with. She probably likes that they give her her way. That's normal for kids. She may have freaked out when she woke up that time your mom was there as she probably did not expect anyone in her bedroom let alone her bed. If she was older and got startled worse could have happened. If you are very concerned that something could have happened you might contact a councilor to meet with your daughter to see if anything did happen. It all depends on how badly you want to get to the bottom of it. I hope and pray she's just extra spoiled my your in-laws and that's why she's like this!