My husband works nights Sunday through Thursday. My sons and I recently went on a 2 week trip to Texas to visit my family. While we were there my 3 yr old missed my husband terribly and cried almost every night for him. My only solution was to get him a couple of photographs of his dad to keep with him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't and I would just comfort him and pray with him until I wasn't sure what to do any longer.
Now that we have returned he has still been crying and missing his dad at night. He has been clingy to him since our return almost not wanting to leave his side. Earlier in the day I was playing with our other son and pretending to go bye-bye and my son burst into tears clinging onto my leg not wanting me to leave. I felt so bad because we were just playing. Apparently he's having some issues with feeling left behind by us both. What can I do to reassure him and what other ideas do you ladies have? Thank you for your time.
P.S. We found out on Sunday we'll be having another one! Don't know if that will play into this or not.
Check out www.daddydolls.com. They take a photograph and turn it into a doll you can hug. Military families use these a lot when Daddy has to be gone. Kids can hold them and talk to them, and I think you can even add a voice recorder to them now. It might help!
My husband is military and has been deployed overseas three times. The first time was when the kids were 2, 3, and 4. I came up with the idea of videotaping dad reading their special bedtime story books. He would read each kid their book and tell them he loved them and to go to sleep. Then, he kissed the camera. When he was overseas, we would watch the video (and have the book in front of us) as part of the bedtime routine. The kids got a kick out of seeing Dad and would even kiss the tv when Dad gave them their night time kiss. Although my kids are now 9, 10, and 12, they still remember the Daddy Tape. Maybe you could do something like that.
Hi! That's really sad. We got a taste of it yesterday while my husband was away on business.
I've heard that, if your little one can visit Daddy where he works, get a little "tour" and see what Daddy does when he's away, that really helps. That way, later, you can talk about what he might be doing at any given point when your little one is missing him. Also, if your husband has a desk or a locker or some place where he can store personal items, make sure he has a family picture taped up or framed, and have your husband point it out, so your son can see that Daddy is still thinking of him when they're apart.
You might even get related toys. Like, if your husband works a forlift, or whatever, you can find something similar and play with your son, and he can pretend he's at work with his dad.
Can your husband make a call every day when he's at work, before the anticipated most-upset time? (I don't think it's a good idea to wait till your son is *really* upset - catch it before then.)
Of course, when his dad IS home, make sure they're getting as much good, quality time together as possible. Have the TV off, keep that newspaper off his lap and make sure Daddy is filling up that love bank. This will actually make the times apart much easier, not worse. Same with you. Give him as much love and security and good together time as you can. Lots of eye contact. Lots of good listening and paraphrasing (to let him know that you're listening). Lots of good hugs. When you hold his hand, hold it tightly (but not too tightly!). Remind him that Daddy always comes back.
Don't try to make him be a little man. He's still a baby. If you try to make him independent and "suck it up and get used to it" before he's ready, he'll just be clingier. Reasoning and telling him Daddy's earning money for the family won't work. But if you respond to his needs - hopefully even before he gets clingy on any given day - it will ease up on you and he will feel more secure and happier all around. It really works!
Hang in there.
it's probably just a phase he'll get through, but maybe he was sensing the new baby before you guys even knew it! i'd just plan some dates for you, your husband and him, and daddy and him alone. good luck and congratulations!
