3 Year Old Son Still Asks for Diaper to Poop in...should I Be Concerned?

I lucked out with my son because at an early age 8 months he didn't like the feel of the poop in his diaper and wanted it changed. He would go potty. It took another three years to get the pee routine down with the training pants. So he was a bit backwards but it made for easier trips without the poopy diaper.

Just know he will make it to school without a diaper of any kind under his clothes and be prepared for a few accidents at school.

This too shall pass and you will be on to bigger and better things as he grows up.

The other S.

No need to be concerned.
Boys are slower than girls in this area.
As far as child development, they fear they are losing a part of themselves.
Be positive in your actions & words.
Don't punish, yell or berate him.
Try to catch it when you "think" he needs to go & offer to put him on the toilet. Use a kid toilet seat insert or kids toilet that sits next to the toilet if he seems to like that better.
He may end up being 3 1/2 or 4 when he totally gets the sensation w/the willingness to sit on the toilet to try & poop.
For some boys, having a BM can take some time & they have to "work at it".
Think of a amle counterpart you know that might take some time in the bathroom when going #2 (ex. husb, father etc).
Hang in there, be patient, offer the toilet & offer a reward if he goes #2 in the toilet.

My daughter was having some similar reluctance, and so I gave her an interactive book and had her sit on her potty chair. Or, I have put it in front of the tv and put on one of her kids shows. She was just sitting there relaxed and she surprised herself with a poop. He may just need to learn to relax and let it happen. This can take a while. Also, if he has to do much pushing then it may seem too scary because he could fall in. Remember boys don't usually sit to pee so this is a new sensation to him and it sound like its uncomfortable.

My now 4 year old did this for awhile. Just got him really potty-trained this week. I was really getting worried but I had a doctor tell me not to. He was telling us he pooped in his diaper. We didn't jump to change him, waited at least 5 minutes. That upset him, he wanted the poop gone. Not long enough to give him a rash, just long enough to point out how much more pleasant using the potty would be and that I was disappointed he didn't try. Then I was changing his diaper in front of the toilet and dumping his diaper in the toilet and waving bye to the poopy when we flushed. Then insisting he sit and "try." He would tell me he didn't have to go anymore. I pointed out that was fine, I just wanted him to practice. While he sat there, I gently reminded him that since he would have to sit on the potty whether he pooped in the diaper or in the potty, he might as well use the potty! Then I would only bring underpants to the bathroom to put on him after pooping in the diaper. We had to live through several accidents but he always got a diaper to go out or go to bed. I also started the potty lottery. I bought some toys from the dollar store and told him he sometimes might win the potty lottery and he never knew when, but the only way to get a chance was to keep using the potty. He is told how proud we are when he uses the potty :)

This is a good sign - he's asking for a diaper so he knows he has to poop. Sitting on the toilet is odd for many kids. No way I would have my child sit there for "up to an hour" as you say. 5 minutes, and if nothing happens, have him get up. You can have a few books in there to help him pass the time and try to relax, but no one should be sitting on the toilet for a long time, so I wouldn't have him get into that habit. It's not a punishment and kids his age don't even sit in "time out" for more than 5 minutes!

It comes slowly in a lot of kids, particularly boys. I promise you he will not go to kindergarten in a diaper. He's not falling behind his peers - those who are poop-trained are slower to develop in another area where your child is probably advanced. It all works out in the end.

Had this problem too. I put a bunch of wrapped up little toys on the back of the toilet. Told my dd when she pooped in the potty, she'd get one. She let them sit there for months, I finally forced the issue when she was 3.5 ....then every time she went she got a toy. After a while she was forcing herself to go..to get a toy....she was cured!

Don't worry about it. Lot's of boys aren't potty-trained at all until they are 3, and you don't want to think of it as a peer issue anyway.

What you might ask him to do is sit on the potty while he poops, with the diaper on. That way he can transition to the idea of potty while he still has the diaper.

Don't push it - it will just be a battle.

Dawn

My daughter did the same thing at that age. She would pee in the toilet but when it came to #2 she would ask for a pull up. We let her since I am not one to push when she is not ready. One day we went down the street to a bouncy house and I didn't bring a pull up. She told me that she had to poop. I told her that she either use the toilet or we had to go home cause I didn't have a pull up. She tried 3 times on the toilet and by the 4th time she went. It took some time and then she just started going in the toilet. She is now 4 1/2. So she has been going by herself since october. She does very well at night also. NO MORE PULL UPS! YAY!! I do keep them in the van just in case we are somewhere that doesn't have a bathroom. She uses it and we put her underwear right back on afterwards. This way we can guarentee that there will be no accidents. It takes time and be patient. It will happen when he is ready and more comfortable. My neice is 6 1/2 and she still wears a pull up at night. Every child is different and takes things at their own stride. That does not make him fall behind in his peers. It will happen in due time. Best of luck!

All the advice below is great, especially the ones noting that for boys, the sensation of sitting to poop is a new experience - girls must sit to do anything at all on the toilet. Learning to pee and learning to poop in the toilet are two very different things for boys, so think of it as two different types of potty training, not one single effort.

I would just add that you should know some kids think of pooping as somehow "losing" part of their bodies, so they resist it. Try the tactic of waiting to flush his poop after he has left the bathroom so he doesn't see it go down the drain, so to speak. Also, distraction is key -- be sure you have tempting new books he can see ONLY when sitting down to poop: "These are special books for when you sit on the potty." Ensure they're ones he has never seen and are ones that will definitely keep his attention for more than a few seconds. This can help a child both sit long enough, and relax long enough, to forget why he's there, and then his body might relax enough to let the poop go.

Think of this, too: It is actually a good sign that he "asks for a diaper to poop in" because it at least means he is aware when his body is ready to poop. If he were having accidents all over the place that would be worse.

Do not stress out over the "age where I should get concerned." There is NO magic age limit by which a child should be perfectly potty trained. Search Mamapedia and you will find parents of kids of many ages dealing with many different potty issues including this exact one -- peeing but not yet pooping, and at ages older than your child's age. If you stress about this, or force him, he will pick up on your stress, which will make him tense and it will only take longer for him to make this transition.

I did the same thing at that age... My family still likes to tell that story regularly, and that is probably the worst repercussion your son will have from his behaviour - you guys joking about it later!
My mom said I had been almost potty trained when my brother was born, and decided then to go back to diapers. It's probably normal. Maybe it comforts him. Don't worry - he is still so small.

I was told this happens b/c the sensation between the two (bm and urine) are VERY different between boy/girl. Just hang in there and let him poop in comfort - you do not want him to have a complex. Just make HIM part of the clean up process. Bascially we got the flushable wipes and made him clean himself, we just watched and helped. We also talked about how the poop is not spread out all over when you poop in the toilet like in your diaper that seemed to help.

I understand your concern.

Whatever the reason he feels uncomfortable pooping on the potty you can train him to poop on it while wearing a diaper, the how-to is outlined in this site as one of the ways to treat toilet training problems before they cause harm.
http://www.rogerknapp.com/medical/pottytrainingrefusals.htm

Are his movements normal, not real hard, not real difficult to do? If he is straining too much then you could add a little metamucil clear and natural to his diet and when it becomes easier to poop, then re intro pooping on the potty.

No, don't be concerned. The age where you should be concerned is...18.

But seriously, it's extremely rare for them to not be potty trained by the time they are four, or sometime during that year.