3 Year Old Son Acting Out

i agree with vanessa. a daycare should be prepared for all sorts of different behavior patterns from children and have an agreement worked out with the parent in how to respond to different situations. the fact that they call you to come and pick up your child every time there is a problem indicates their lack of education in how to handle children. i would give serious consideration to looking for a daycare that can work more flexibly with your specific problems so you are more free to focus on your time with your sons at home in the evenings.

Hi J.! I am sorry you are going through all of this. It is hard being a working mom and having to deal with daycare issues. I would have to say is that your son is starving for your attention. At daycare this little guy misses you, acts up and then gets the attention from you because you have to leave work. At home when he hits you, again he is looking for attention from you. The best thing to do when you are at home is be consistent and set boundaries. Studies have shown that kids need boundaries, it makes them feel secure. About the childcare, is there any way you can switch to part-time or work from home? I know some changes will be hard and some may require sacrifice, but I really believe your son needs you home more. I am a mother of 2 boys and I stopped working outside the home when my 1st born turned 1. I am not saying it has been easy, but it has made a world of difference in my boy's lifes. My boys are now 8 and 6. Let me know if you need any other help or need to brainstorm. J.

well, from experience, this is partly an age thing. my son will be 3 tomorrow and has also been in daycare pretty much his whole life, since he was 4 months old. part of it is age and pushing his limits, part of it is learned from other children. is there another person he spends time with besides you and daycare? does he hang out alone with dad or grandma? it's possible another person is giving him what he wants all the time, either cause they think it's fun which is usually a grandma thing, or to avoid the conflict. either way, children get used to that convenience very quickly. my son hangs out with dad and grandma every weekend cause i work on saturdays. and grandma feeds him candy all weekend, so when he comes home and i won't give him sweets, he tells me those same things, that he doesn't like me or he tells me to leave him alone, or he'll hit, bite, kick, or just throw an all out fit. has anything changed recently? maybe a move to a new place, a new room at daycare, or a new teacher? also, i think it's ridiculous that the daycare is acting that way. i have been using the same daycare from the start and have never had that problem. there has been times they have called to let me know what's going on, but they never tell me i have to pick them up because they are misbehaving. at this age, it should be something they expect and are prepared for. good luck.

I wonder if anything has recently happened at this daycare that has made him uncomfortable? There are always new kids coming and friends leaving. Could he be upset about a friend leaving? Maybe he is being bullied when no one is looking? Unfortunantly it is not uncommon. Or of course it could be the god awful threes. My oldest son is about to turn four and his threes were definantly worse than his twos. I would explain to him that Mommy has to go to work, and if he can't behave then he won't be able to go to that daycare anymore but he'll go right into another one. If he likes the idea of going to a new daycare maybe that's what he needs...a change of scenery.

Hi J., has anything changed lately in the home front? that could trigger some emotion's or maybe some of the kids are picking on him at preschool and he has just had to defend himself in his own way. have you just gone to the preschool unnounced to see for yourself if anything is out of line.maybe sit down with the preschool teacher and find out when these outburst's occur maybe its only during a certain point that he does this.try and get a pinpoint down. but look to see what changes if any have occured at the home if nothing move onto the school. I wish you much luck but for your son's sake find out where it is coming from. kids at that age there can always be just one child not being nice. good luck ~L.~