3-Year-old Won't Sleep at Bedtime. NEED HELP NOW!!!

On an immediate basis: melatonin.

On a long-term basis, look at Elizabeth Pantley's "no-cry sleep solution" books. One of the strengths of these books is that she provides some pretty clear information on what is normal and what is not. Also, lots of different ideas to try.

If all the "normal" advice is not working, consider the possibility of a physical problem that is interfering with sleep. I spent a year and half being blamed for my son's sleep problems. Then he was hospitalized with asthma. He slept like a normal child in the hospital. Turns out we had black mold in the house and he was asthmatic and he was allergic to dust mites and he was dealing with a lot of sensory issues that meant he needed a lot of stimulation in order to sleep. He didn't need a sticker chart and a calming bedtime routine to be able to sleep. He needed oxygen and a tickle fight!

Wow - I am sorry you are going through this. I don't have a lot of advice other than "ride it out"! If he is somewhat ok to leave alone (ie he doesn't like to climb curtains or swing from the fan) then put him in his room and say I know you have a lot of energy but Mommy is going to bed now, you can play in here quietly until you are sleepy but do not come out. If he can't be left alone like that, give him a stern warning and give him a flashlight/book and tell him to stay in bed. If he can not be trusted to do that, you or Dad need to speak sternly and swat his hiney and see if you can get his attention. That may calm him down a bit. Good luck!

At his age, the crib tent is more of a hazard than a help so it's probably best that it isn't an option any more. Children don't have self-control, but they can be taught. Like Jennifer G. I transitioned my kids to go to sleep with out a fight very gently and SLOWLY. Kids are inflexible and naturally resist change. Tonight's not the night to start new rules (the movie with lights off is not such a bad idea!). Just get through it and plan ahead for tomorrow night. Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution helped some to get ideas. Your son wants (and needs) your attention at bedtime so it's a good time to start a routine and help him learn to go to sleep.
Restricting a child's freedom doesn't teach self control, but rather how to push the limits. Parenting is SO HARD because it's a 24/7 job. Wishing you a better night tomorrow night.

Can you lock him in his room? (Don't laugh too much, I know someone who did it!)

What is your bedtime routine like? Most nights ours is bath, pj's, brush teeth, 2 books, bed. If you have a predictable routine, that can be a huge help.

Also, have you had nights that were easier and he did go to sleep quickly? If so, you could think about any signs he showed of being tired or how many hours he was up that day. Maybe think about what you were doing just before. Try to think about the things that have had a calming effect on him.

I rocked my oldest to sleep until he was 2 ish. When I transitioned him into falling asleep on his own I did sit next to his bed and sing or rub his back. After a few nights I would sit next to his bed. Later I sat across the room. Eventually I was able to give kisses and leave.

Try to pick a routine that you think he will respond to and be consistent. I know it's tough! (believe me) You will get there.

Sorry I can't help you tonight. Maybe this is a night you put in a movie and turn the lights down.

Good luck!

Does he nap??????

Some kids, when over-tired and too tired... actually get MORE 'hyper' and really uncontrollable because when over-tired, they simply cannot control themselves.

Some kids, even at this age, still need to nap.
My son does even if he is 4 and my daughter, on occasion will nap when she is tired. She is 8.

They both sleep, well at night and go to bed well at night. Even if they do nap.

For some, lack of sleep/sleep deprivation, really creates, havoc run kids.

I might suggest, taking EVERYTHING out of his room. Make is safe. The crib tent is not longer safe for him, and he is older and stronger now. Hence he can wreck it.
Put the mattress on the floor.
Keep the room bare.
Play white music or something.
NO horse-play before bed. This just keys up the kids too much.
Make EVERYTHING quiet before bed.
Make EVERYTHING turned off and DARK before bed. Leave only 1 small light on.
Do this, about 1 hour before bed.
To calm him down.
To set the stage.
To create the right 'environment' before bed.

Maybe too, he is too overly stimulated by then and too tired, by bedtime and he just cannot help it nor himself.

Consistent bed time routines help a lot, you don't mention if you have one or not (sure ya do :)). Getting him a toddler bed is probably best at this point so he doesn't get his foot or something caught and hurt himself climbing out of the crib. Get a tall (not normally sized) gate and put it up at his door so he can't run around everywhere. Take his physical activity up a notch during the day if you can. Does he still nap? Be careful not to let him sleep or start naps too late. Think about what he is eating as to make sure not too much sugar too close to bed, even chocolate milk :)

When my daughter went through this I don't want to sleep stage I started putting in a toddler-friendly but boring (to her) movie and she was all into it b/c she got to stay up, so she thinks. I say You can stay awake, as long as you stay laying in bed. If you get up I will turn it off for 3 minutes. After a few times it really worked and it still works every night. She gets in bed with her sippy cup and loves that she "stays awake as long as she lays down in bed" and falls asleep 15 mins later, more or less depending on the night haha. It was easier for me to accept to let her watch a movie b/c I do it myself. I don't like the quiet when I'm falling asleep for whatever reason. I don't like it loud either, but I like that little background noise. Win-win situation, she gets to stay awake quietly and relax enough to fall asleep and I get to see her get enough sleep.

It has been my experience with my 3 year old that I cannot reason with her. The only thing that works for us is to tell her exactly what we expect (stay in bed, no kicking, screaming etc...) and when she disobeys she gets a spanking. Not a beating. Then I tell her again what I expect and why she got the spanking.