Getting Out of Big Boy Bed

It takes time(even tho you wish it didn't)With mine I always made them go back to bed and I would tuck them in. Time and time again. Try only thing to get them in bed. Don't very the way. One treat the next day,if they stayed in bed. Bless you, sometimes it is tough. But worth it.

There are several ways you can go about this, no matter which method you choose consistancy is the key. With my kids, after saying goodnight and giving hugs and kisses they got a spanking every time they got up and were put immediately back into bed. The first 2 nights were awful, it took several spankings and 30-45 min of putting them back in bed but after 2 nights they never got up again. (For all those moms who don't agree with spanking, that's your opinion, you have a right to it, lets just agree to disagree.) When my friend was transitioning her kids to a big bed she would tuck them in and shut the bedroom door, the kids cried a lot the first few nights and sometimes ended up sleeping in the floor by the door but soon got the idea that bedtime was bedtime. Super Nanny suggests being very boring when you take your kids back to bed, don't give them any eye contact or say anything at all to them, just put them back. I certainly wouldn't offer rewards, sleeping in your bed is an expectation, not an option. Whatever you choose, just stick to your guns, they will eventually get the idea and stay in bed.

I'm a SAHM of 3, I've done this with 2 kids. It takes A LOT of patience but we play the "up down game". Even if it requires sitting outside their door for hours (and I've done it more times than I can count). The thing is, they have to learn to create their own boundaries and ultimately have to choose to stay in bed and go to sleep. It takes awhile for them to learn it but once they have it will pay off dividends. Put them to bed with their normal routine. Then when they get up you don't talk to them, look them in the eyes, etc, you merely pick them back up and put them back into bed. Eventually they will learn that the result of them getting out of bed is that they will just wind up there again and they will choose to stay in bed. This goes for nap times, bed times and my favorite--the 3 am visits! It's one of the most frusterating parts of parenthood but teaching your children to set their own boundaries and helping them choose to stay in bed on their own is the only thing that is lasting. I know some desperate people who use those door knob covers on the inside of their kids rooms, it works great temporarily but in the long run, you've created the boundary for your child, they don't learn anything and when they're older they have a hard time being controlled because instead of teaching children to make their own boundaries the parents have always created them for them. Good Luck!!

We went through this same thing with our 2 boys [now 3 1/2 and 5]. This worked for me:
The first time he crawls out of bed take him back in and say 'it's bedtime, I love you, goodnight'
The second time he gets out of bed, walk him back and say 'goodnight'
The third and subsequent times walk him back and do not say anything and do not look him in the eye.
Once he realizes he is not going to get anything he really wants [your attention] then he will stop crawling out. This took about a week for us.
Good luck!

I just finished watching a great episode of suppernanny and it was about this very thing, they used the same thing i did. keep putting him back in his bed, no spanking no yelling no treats no words just put him back in his bed. The first couple nights it may seem like it for ever but it gets better by the third night and so on, but you have to be consistant. Say nothing just return him to bed over and over, he will be looking for attention so dont give it just keep putting him back in bed.

Honestly, I would say put him back in the crib. He may not be ready for this kind of freedom, so put it back together, but leave the big bed up and tell him that you will allow him to sleep in it if he does not get up, but then if he does, it is back to ithe crib. Sometimes we are more ready to move them up than they are to grow up. Best of luck, just follow his lead! ~A.~

When it is bed time, make it story time too. Get him comfy, but laid down, and read a bedtime story,or pat him gently and sing a soft song or two, this usually gets them sleepy and they soon drop off to sleep, at least in my experience.

Had the same problem with my two. I'm a spanker...so, I warned them ahead of time that if you are out of your bed, it's a spanking. For the first 3 days, I gave warning after warning to be sure they understood the rules. Then after three days, I felt they knew what was expected. My dd figured it out right away, 2-3 spankings, and she was good to go. My ds was more defiant, but eventually got it. I don't have time for sitting at the door and bribery...do it or pay the consequence. My opinion...

Maybe you need to go back to the crib until he's a bit older as suggested already.

One thing our ped recommended, and they actually had this on SuperNanny tonight, is to keep taking him back to bed. The first time, you say "time for bed now" and you lead him back. The second time, you make it even briefer by saying only "bed time". If he gets out again, you gentley take him back but say nothing. You keep doing the silent thing until he falls asleep. It feels like it isn't working (and that's what the ped said would happen too). But after a night or so, they get it. Granted, my son was a little bit older when we tried it. We do suffer set backs from time to time, but generally it has worked.

If you are still willing to try the crib, get a crib tent and use that on the crib, your child wont be able to get out of the crib. I have a 3.5 year old that is not mature enough to stay in his bed and he uses the crib and crib tent. We have always LOVED the crib tent with all my kids!I personally dont think a child is old enough or mature enough to stay in a big boy bed until they are fully potty trained...

The way, we trained our oldest to stay in his bed was we had a big boy bed and a crib with a crib tent in his room and we told him if he did not stay in his big boy bed then he has to sleep in his crib. if he gets out of the big boy bed then calmly put him in his crib and zip the tent... he will throw a fit but tell him you will try again tomorrow and he can sleep in his bed if he stays in his bed. a few nights of this and he will get that you mean business and will learn real fast to stay in the bed.

But we had a Dr. tell us that you can also take everything out of the bedroom except the matress and lock the door and do this for a few nights and he will learn to stay in his bed... obviously this is just for temporary until he learns to stay in the bed...not a perminate thing.

Its real important to have a night time routine that you do every night. if his bedtime is at 7:30 then at 6:50 you need to give him a 10 minute count down until bath time "BOBBY, 10 minutes until bath time" then 5 minutes and so on...

Then at 7:00 give him a bath and play in bath then get him dressed and brush teeth then read a bedtime story or 2 (let him choose the ones he wants to read and say ok after 2 stories its bed time, then after the 1st one say ok one more story and then bed time...)

then tuck him in, kiss him good night and walk out of the room and shut the door..( you need to leave a good night light on and have everything in the bed that he sleeps with so there are no trips to get stuff he forgot) Also, if he gets out of bed NO BIG DEAL, the first time, pick him up with out getting mad and say its bed time honey. and place him back in bed,

the second time do the same thing but say "its bed time"

the 3rd time and after pick him up and put him in bed calmly with out saying a word and shut the door. This may take a few times even a few nights... but be persist and and consistant. if you give in you will have to start ALL OVER from square one.
Do this same routine each and every night and he will get it I PROMISE!!

You can even make a bed time chart with photos of him doing each thing like brushing teeth and bath time and put them in order of how you do them and then have him point out what is next... this will get him involved in the process and make it fun and pretend like you dont know what is next and have him help you put the photo in the spot it goes in order for what is next...

Good luck- A.

Hey, J.. Do you watch Super Nanny? She almost always deals with some sleep issue. It looks to me like you are doing the right things, but that it might just take time and patience. I am amazed by how many times it takes for some of the kids on Super Nanny to learn, but it really does work if they stick with it. You have to outlast those guys! Best of luck to you!

I wasn't going to post on this because so many others did, but we have been dealing with the same thing with our 2 1/2 year old over the last three- four weeks and we've finally found a solution,(yay!) but I noticed that no one else suggested it. He was getting up over and over- spanking, kissing, cuddling, sitting outside the door and putting him right back in bed- nothing worked. He just kept doing it and it was wearing us out! It was especially bad when we spanked b/c he shares a room with his little brother and would wake him up with his crying. I just cannot bring myself to lock that little guy in- besides he'd just scream and wake the baby. I finally started saying "good night- I'm going to sit in the rocking chair for a while" and I'd sit in his room for about ten minutes, then sneak out...this worked some of the time, but sometimes he'd catch me, so it still wasn't good enough. Then I remembered an article I read that said that you should kiss them goodnight then say that you will come check on them in a little while. The trick is that you have to actually go back while they're awake "check on them" give them an extra kiss, and say you'll check on them in a little bit- so that they believe you. In the beginning you'll probably have to do this in 2 minutes, then 5 minutes so that they don't get any ideas about getting out of bed in between, then 10 minutes, then longer, till they're asleep. It took me ONE NIGHT of this and I only went in twice that night, now I go in once to give him an extra kiss, and he goes to sleep knowing that I will check on him again later. Worked for us, no tears, no fits, no fuss. Maybe it will work for you! Good luck!

I went through this with my DD when she was his age. I finally told her that she has to stay in bed until the sun comes up and it worked after a while. I still tell her that everynight. Some nights it doesnt work, but most times it does. Good luck, I know how hard this transition can be :)

my little guy did the exact same thing at the exact same age. i did what you did and it took about a month for him to get settled. it was a cross of the excitement of the big boy bed and being a a little scared. he is three now and stays in his bed and occassionally gets out to bring toys in but once he lays down he is out. i actually would stay in the bed with him and read and play abit until he tired. sometimes it would be an hour before he fell asleep. this can be tiresome BUT i didn't want to punish him for this transition. he loves his bed and sleeps soundly through the night. hope this helps.

I was having a hard time getting my daughter to sleep in her bed at night. We bought several lullaby CD's and play them softly all night and I have not had a problem since. I hope this helps.

I hope this does not sound terrible... but we closed the door and locked it. ( you can reverse the door knob so the lock is on the outside of his room) He would get out of bed and sleep on the floor, pretty soon he started staying in bed. This is a safetly thing too, if your concerned he might get up in the middle of the night and wonder around the house....

At 2 1/2 he is old enough to understand, if you stay in your bed, mommy will not close the door.

B.

This is a very hard transition. One of mine was in a big bed at 17 months because she kept waking up the other was almost 3. But i had a baby gate at their door so they couldnt come out of their room. if they sat and played so be it they were in their room and 8 times out of 10 they would fall asleep by the gate. I would then step over and put them in their bed, especially if it was night time. the one that was almost 3 i would say okay good night and lets try and stay in our bed. if she did great if not the gate was there. THey did cry at the gate but i ignored it or if it got to bad i would go up hug them put them back in bed and tell them they needed to stay there that it was bed time. Just hang in there it doesnt matter if they are 2 1/2 or 3 its a new transition.