My only trouble with my bright and active three-year-old daughter is at bedtime. She fights over going to bed every night. We have a special story half-hour and then she is supposed to turn out the light and go to sleep, and it never happens. She yells, cries, gets out of bed, asks to sleep in my bed (where she used to sleep, I confess) and gets out of bed and comes downstairs several times. I have tried a reward chart. She decides she doesn't want the rewards. I have tried telling her I'll take away favorite items, she doesn't care. I don't know what to do.
I found a fabulous book called "1-2-3 Magic" It has some great disciplinary tactics in it for the struggling parent. I bought mine off www.half.com for $2.00
In the meantime, be persistant. It will all work out.
We have just recently been able to give our 3 yr old daughter her own room, and so far we've had no problems with her staying in her room, however, we were tested before when she was put to bed by herself or during nap time. During nap time, she is only allowed out of bed to go to the bathroom or "after" she has already had her nap. Of a night I made her go potty before going to bed and then she was not allowed out of bed again unless it was much later in the night and then only long enough to potty again. All I can say is, whichever method you choose...hold firm! Like I said since we had already established bedtime rules before she got her own room, so we haven't had much trouble with her getting out of bed, but if it were me I would probably pull the door to, without shutting it all the way. If she would not cooperate later in the night, then I would establish the baby gate and tell her if she wants to be treated like a big girl, she must act like one and explain that it is for her safety. Once she begins to consistantly remain in her bed, I would offer her the option of removing the baby gate, if she continues to do well, the baby gate would stay gone, if not I would remind her that it is her choice to have the gate...if she wants it down she must stay in bed where you know she is safe. I hope this helps.
I have the PERFECT solution and it only takes a few nights. For my second son, it took one night. Leave the door open, when she comes out you tell her to go back in. Tell her that if she comes out again, you will have to close her door. When you do that, hold it closed for just 30 seconds. Then open, if you want your door open, get in bed. Each time she comes out the door is closed for longer. When it is dark, they want that door open. So this works like a charm. Please, I don't recommend locking your child in like other moms suggested. This is a fire and safety hazard. Instead, teach her how to stay in there of her own free will! This is Ferber's technique and it WORKS!!!!
I don't have this problem yet, my daughter is still in the crib. But, my friend had major issues with her son doing the exact same thing. For her it didn't matter how many times she walked him back to his room he just kept coming downstairs. She also resorted to putting a gate on his door frame. He did scream and cry for a few nights by the gate for quite a while but it did end up working. After about a week, he no longer cried and after a month of consistently staying in his room, the gate came down. She hasn't had a problem since.
I was like denise p, i always used a baby gate. Sometimes they would end up sleeping in front of it on the floor...but after a couple of nights they would stay in bed. I was so scared that they were going to wander the upstairs if the woke up in the middle of the night.
The same thing happened to us when our daughter was three. We were letting her sleep with us when I was pregnant with the next child. Unfortunately, it won't be fun for you, but you have to be really, really, really consistant and keep sending her / taking her back to her bed. I saw it on one of the Nanny shows and it works. You don't talk, except to tell her, "It's bedtime. Go back to your bed". After a few times, you don't even talk, just calmly send her or take her back. Once she sees that you are not going to give in, eventually she will stop getting up. Hang in there. It may take a few days or more, but don't give in. You will be soooooo happy when she is sleeping in her bed and staying there with no drama. Good luck!
We had a similar issue with our now 3 1/2 year old (it happened about 8 months ago). Before I tell you how we solved it - I must first tell you that he has suffered no irreversable harm from this (i think I was more traumatized than he was).
Anyway, I was pregnant and unable to get enough sleep as was, then he starts silently showing up beside my bed. Beside my need for sleep, we also had a concern - if he could come into our room, what if he found something dangerous that we forgot to put away (or he used an ingenious plan to get to - dragging a chair to the counter and grabbing whatever he wanted).
I first tried to talk to him about it (he is very verbal and comprehends very well). That did not work, so as a last resort I put a child safety lock on the inside of his bedroom door. I laid him down and we talked about him needing to stay in his room until it was light outside. We both told him that it is not safe for little boys to be out of bed when everyone else is sleeping and he is not allowed out. We further explained to him that to make sure he stayed safe, we put a big people doorknob on that he would not be able to open if he tried.
He stayed in his bed for all of 10 minutes and then tried to leave and could not get the door open. He started screaming, so I turned off the baby monitor and slept on the floor outside his door. After about 90 minutes he fell asleep and I went in after another 30 minutes and put him in his bed.
The following morning we talked about what happened. Then that night, I tucked him in and he asked me to leave his door open. i told him we would, but if he came out of his room before it was light outside, he would go back in and the door would be closed again.
We have not had a problem since. I removed the safety lock after 2 weeks. After about 6-8 weeks he stopped asking for the door to be left open and he only come out to go the the bathroom in the middle of the night or when it is light outside.
Hope that helps =O}
I don't really have any good advice, but that sounds exactly like my daughter. Lately she's been sleeping in our room on a blow-up mattress and she goes to sleep great. We figure it's better than our bed and hopefully soon we will attempt her room again.
S.
Discipline! She shouldn't be allowed out of bed. Incentives are fine, but there should be a negative consequences for not staying in bed, as well as for throwing a tantrum. EVERY time. Telling her you will take away her favorite things would mean nothing unless you do it, but at three, I think she's too young to care about a toy being taken away when she's busy revolting against bed.
My husband and I have fun, games, cuddles, happy teeth brushing, stories, prayers...it's a big old picnic until lights out, then woe is the child who would try to get out of bed. Make it simple, quick, black and white. I think our daughter tried twice and learned it wasn't worth it.
Good luck!
G.,
I put a baby gate at my son's bedroom door--mainly because his room was at the top of the stairs, but it ended up helping him stay in his room and resign himself to the fact that he needed to go to sleep. Also, can you play a music CD or a story CD for her so she can lie there and listen to it? Might help.
One great bit of advice I read is to get your child a night light and put it on a timer. Explain to them that as long as the night light is on, they need to stay in bed. Also, when my children were little I would let them stay up "as long as they wanted" as long as they were reading. They thought it was great that they could sit in bed and read until they were tired. And truthfully, they would only read for about 10 minutes until they turned out their light. But I think it was the idea that they were in control! Good luck.
I'm a little late responding (computer problems) so I'm sure you got lots of advice already. My advice is to let it ride. This comes from being in your exact situation and just being tired of the nighttime fighting with a human being who still poops in his diaper. My first and second didn't give me half the problems that this one does (we nicknamed him Genghis Khan, if that gives you any idea!). I've finally gotten to the point where I would rather have nice nights than constant fighting (it has been going on for a year now, since he first climbed out of his crib). I figure that he won't start school sleeping on the back porch on Daddy's lap or on the couch. Good luck with whatever you do.
I agree with the mom about the SuperNanny way. You have to be consistent or it won't work though. The first time you tell her it's bedtime and then after that don't say a word, just put her right back in bed and walk away. You can explain to her beforehand that you want her to stay in bed and that she is not to get out, etc. I hope it works for you.
