3 1/2 Year Olds Sons Sleeping Habits

Boy, that must be frustrating!! My 4 year old does not take naps anymore. He goes to bed at 9 (I wish it were earlier) and gets up at 7. He acts fine during the day, so I guess he doesn't need any more sleep. He does get up in the middle of the night and come to our room wanting daddy to sleep with him. That is a bad habit that I wish my husband would break. (His nightly routine involves him staying with my son until he falls asleep- that's the issue) Anyway, I brought that up because maybe he doesn't like sleeping in his bed by himself and that is really the issue. That is why he is getting up at 2, then he probably stays awake as long as he can, then falls asleep again for one more cycle then wakes up at 5:30. So, maybe make sure his room has nothing "scary" (ask him) and then make sure he has a lot of stuffed animals ("his friends") to help him if he feels like he needs a friend at night. Make sure he has a nightlight in his room, maybe the dark scares him. Also, make sure you have room darkening blinds. In the summer, it gets like out about 5-5:30. Maybe he sees that it is light outside and it is time to get up. JcPenney (online only) makes wonderful room darkening blinds (the best I have found). I think the brand is "Carmel" or something like that. Check out their website. Finally, if he does get up at 5:30 take him back to his room and tell him he has to go back to bed and that it isn't morning yet. It may take a couple of weeks for him to give in and listen and not come back to your room, but consistency is key with this age. Every time he comes in your room you take him back to his room. A friend of mine bought a wall clock and put a star on the hour hand and colored the area between 7AM and 9AM with a blue marker. She told her son he could not leave his room until the star was over the blue area. Reward him somehow if he gets up after 7. (Reward chart with stickers and prizes works good for us) During the day, make sure you are giving him a lot of personal attention (one on one is best, maybe while sister is sleeping you can lay with him in his bed and read books, or watch a movie) and praise him every time he is doing something good. He will want to please you more if you do this, and maybe it will help speed along his nighttime issues.

As for his hitting his wall and waking up his sister, we have a air purifier that we have set up right outside our son's room that drowns out any noise. Maybe you can put one of those in her room to help drown out the noise from him banging on the wall. Also, make sure you discipline him EVERY time he bangs on the wall. I know you will be too tired in the middle of the night, but he will hopefully catch on quickly.

Hopefully your doctor can give you some good tips as well. Good luck!

You probably do need to start putting him to sleep later. I have a son who is 3 and he usually goes to bed anywhere from 9-10, and wakes up around 6:30 or 7. I may take a few nights or maybe a week but once he is used to going to sleep later he will establish a routine. When my son wakes up really early, I just tell him that everyone else is still sleeping so he needs stay lying down in his bed. Maybe if your son does wake up you may need to just lie down with him. As for naps, my son's babysitter does not make him take a nap, but on the weekends I do. I just make him lay down and he will eventually fall asleep, it usually takes about a half hour. Hope this helps!

Sorry to hear about your situation. First, I would make sure there isn't a medical condition causing this problem. Friends of ours were going through the same thing with their son. He ended up having a sleep study done in the hospital. The problem was that even though he was in his room "sleeping" in the night, he really wasn't getting uninterrupted sleep. He was waking every so often, which amounted to broken sleep. And, we all know how we feel with broken sleep!! He was cranky throughout the day and was gaining weight at a fast pace too. They ended up doing some sort of procedure (they took out his tonsils and did something else which I can't remember).

I guess I would say that if nothing medically is found to be wrong, that perhaps, it is a control or behaviorial issue.

That sounds frustrating. He might not need a nap anymore and that could be playing havoc. My son is the same age and he sometimes needs a nap, sometimes not. So we do quiet time where he can sit on his bed or on the couch and rest. His bedtime is later - 7:30 - 8. He has to be in his bed, but he can look at his books. He usually doesn't fall asleep until 830 or 9.

I think going to the doctor is best. but It might also be a control issue as well.

Hope that helps

I just wanted to let you know I feel for you. I have two boys 14 months and 3 and we have never been good sleepers. We also have a small house and they share a room. What seems to help with my 3 year old is bribery. I know it stinks but we tried everything else we could think of. We told him if he goes to bed with no crying, nicely for a certain # of nights and stays in his own bed until 7:00 (we put a clock in his room and cover the last 2 numbers) then he can go to chucky cheese. His favorite place to be. (We usually spend 5 dollars and he is happy) He is so much happier when he gets sleep. He is a different person without enough. He didn't nap for about 9 months and now if he naps when he wakes up he gets a freezer pop. Most days it works. Good luck. We know what a lack of sleep will do for all of us and hope you find something that works for all of you.