3 1/2 Year Old Son Still Not Potty Trained

Sounds like you have a problem on your hands. First off, make sure there are no health issues or developmental issues. Usually by this age, a child is bothered by having the mess in their pants. So, first of all I would go to the doctor and have the toddler/preschooler checked.

If everything is alright, then you need to just put 100% effort into the potty training. When you are potty training you have to watch them like a hawk, every second. You are never going to get the child potty trained if they aren't even in the room with you. You need to be right there, so that when you see him starting to make the effort to do #2, you stop him and take him to the potty.

He is old enough now that he should atleast be telling you after he has gone. If he is not even verbalizing that he has gone in his pants, I am a little worried. My suggestion is that you commit to spending a week or two right by his side, I mean don't let him out of your sight. That is probably what it is going to take. I can see how the little training potty would definitely not work for you, at 3 1/2 he is too big for it.

Go get a children's book about potty training and read it to him several times a day. I would even look for a video. I also am concerned that it sounds like you aren't putting him on the potty to try to go often enough. When you are potty training, you need to take them to sit on the potty every 30 minutes. They need to sit on the potty for atleast 2 minutes or until they have gone. If you will do that consistently for 2 weeks, he should be going on the potty regularly by the end of 2 weeks. Watch him like a hawk and make him try every 30 minutes.

If his pullup is wet when he sits on the potty, even a little damp, make sure you put a new one on, you want him to get used to being totally dry and fresh so he will really want to not go in his pants. I usually think that we shouldn't offer candy for pottying, because I don't think small toddlers should have the sugar, but he is old enough it isn't going to hurt him, so do it.

I would also go out and buy several packages of some underwear that he will love, like with his favorite character on it. Tell him that when he starts pottying in the potty, he will get to wear them. That may help. Just emphasize that big boys do not potty in their pants. And he is old enough to tell him that it is gross and yucky. Make him feel like it is gross so he won't want it on him.

You can do it! Some kids are just a little stubborn about the potty training. It's simple for some and takes a long time for others.

My best advice is to try to let him run around with nothing on his bottom. Maybe a longer t shirt for modesty sake, but naked other wise. Let him really feel the sensation and realize what is happening. Will you have messes..YEP!! But it will not last long hopefully, and it will really help him put all of the pieces to this puzzle together. It helped my son (but he was 2.5 when we potty trained him, so I am not sure if an older child would agree to it??) Good luck, I can only imagine your frustration!!~A.~

I don't have any advice for you because I am in the same boat. I hear that this will pass and he won't go to school in a diaper but sometimes I wonder :P Keep your cool and don't stress about it. I know that's easier said than done.

both of my boys were over the age of 4 before they were done. so there is hope that it will happen. should you prompt him some? sure, but don't push it or he'll revolt even worse.

I just wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat too. My son turned 3 in December and although he can potty in the toilet, when he is playing with his Thomas trains, he just totally forgets and has an accident. We even got to the point where he was potty trained at home but would have an accident when we left the house. I am just going to give it another month and try again. Good luck!

My son wasn't trained until right after his 4th birthday. If your child doesn't know when he needs to peepee, then he may just need a little more time. Whatever you do-don't get angry, upset or make him feel guilty. It will make things much worse. I did all the wrong things the first time around and had to wait a while and completely start over around 4. First, make sure he is physically ready. Then put in in underware during the day and be prepared to help him clean up A LOT! Set a timer for every hour or two, depending on your son's habits, and have him sit on the potty and look at a book with you. Reward him for sitting-a jellybean or M&M. When he pees or poops clap and give him lots of praise with a few more pieces of candy. When he goes in his pants, don't show any emotion, just have him help you clean it up. That's what worked for my son. Good luck!

My son is almost 3 1/2, and we only just got him trained. What worked for us, surprisingly is a modified 3 Day Method. I went out and bought a lot of Prizes (hot wheels cars and other trinkets, even a couple of Thomas Engines for his train set that he desperately wanted) and displayed them all on a table and promised him one for every #2 in the potty. I also bought a bag of Hershey Kisses for his #1s. (M&Ms weren't enough motivation for him.) Then we spent all day keeping him in his underwear and literally putting him on the potty every 30 minutes or so. We had 3 accidents the first day, but after that he got it pretty well and started telling us when he had to go. Yes, he ate very poorly for a few days, but it was a small price to pay for getting him trained. We then transitioned from the Kisses to Raisins. We also let him pick which potty he wants and he switched back and forth from potty chair to adult toilet. It gives him a sense of power and choice which seems to help. Feel free to M if you want any more details. Good luck, and don't feel bad. Some boys don't train till 4!

My son is this age and still not fully potty trained either. Over half of the boys we know his age aren't either. (Many of the girls are though!)

My oldest (who will turn 5 in May) was not potty trained until he was 4
He just wasn't ready..

My baby who is 3 and a half is not potty trained either.. but I am confindent that it will happen soon. I have seen what happens when a child is forced to be trained when they are just not developmentally ready... you end up with a lot of mess and a lot of frustration.

Try to be patient...

My oldest one day just looked and me and his dad and said... okay I am ready to sit on the potty. He has only has 3 accidents in 9 months... it has been awesome!!!!

Yes of course you teach him and encourage him... Remember.. sometimes it is just a developmental thing... I have heard of little girls being potty trained by the time they are 2... I have also heard of little boys taking 2 to 3 years longer to train. I wish you well.

I totally agree with Amber- let him go naked for a day. My son was 2.5 when I started potty training him- and he also was in the stage where he didn't mind having a mess in his diaper. For some reason being naked feels weird to them, and my son wouldn't go without his "security diaper" on. It gave me the chance to fill him with juice and then set him on the potty every 30 minutes- the potty then became the secure feeling and he became more comfortable going. And like other moms said- you have to watch him like a hawk.

What really turned things around for me was when his preschool teacher put it this way: I had to get in the mindset that this is not a CHOICE for him to make. Would I let him eat dinner with his fingers just because HE didn't want to use a fork? No. Would I let himn color all over my walls because HE didn't want to color on paper? No. Its a developmental stage that has to be enforced at a certain point, and at his age he can certainly listen to and follow your directions. I just simply quit asking if my son wanted to go- and told him to go. Very nicely and matter-of-factly, like this is just something we do. Once he knew it was a non-negotiable thing, he didn't fight me because he knew there was no leeway. You can do it! Go, Mom!!!