2 Year Old That Can't Put Herself to Sleep

My daughter was a terrible sleeper - didn't take afternoon naps well, couldn't go to sleep on her own, etc. At18 mos. she hated the crib that we moved her to a toddler bed for her safety. She also would scream if the door was closed completely. This made it even harder to do cry it out. My husband was all for trying cry it out, but I couldn't do it. I am not against cry it out, and if you can handle it go for it. But if not, try the books No Cry Sleep Solution and Good Night, Sleept Tight. They are the books the pediatrician recommended. I did the method where you sit by the bed and gradually move away from the bed. It takes a while, but it was very easy. It took about a month and now my daughter is a great sleeper. She did start the wake up thing in the middle of the night after we moved and we just walked her back to her room. Another important thing is having an established bedtime routine, so it says it is bedtime, not you. We do bath, bedtime snack, brush teeth, potty, book, then goodnights.

Good luck, I know how tiring and frustrating it can be. My daughter is still very active and we have on occasion resorted to sleeping with her, but that is in extreme situations and we still do not have a problem going back to placing her in her bed and saying goodnight.

One thing to do first is to not relate to yourselves that laying with her is more loving than not laying down with her. Often moms who do sleep with their kids or have the family bed think this is about love and it is not! It is just one families choice over another one. Of course you love her and your days will be better when she gets a nighttime routine down. Do what the other moms have suggested. It is ok for her to cry. That is problem solving. Many kids today can not solve their emotional issues because no one ever let them. Warm bath, potty (don't forget you are about to potty train so do the potty thing!, story and lights out (nightlights do help). I love you and close the door mostly and leave. If she comes out, just do it over and over. The Nanny show is great for this. The thing that got my attention is "spirited". Great news there and many fun and interesting times to come. But get the rules going now! If not now, when? A 3 year old is not easier! Suffer for a few days while she learns to comfort herself and then get some rest (mostly emotional) as you will soon go through this with another one!

I am a mother of 3 grown and now the grandma of 1 who is 3 and lived with us from 18 months till 3 while her mom served in Iraq. I did the potty training and crib to big girls bed while her mom was gone. We held her together during this tough separation and know what you are going through!

Hang in there and you will be glad and not sad that you did!

We went through the exact same thing. Our boys are 18 months apart. First off- It does get easier. Really. Second- You don't say what time you are putting your two year old down at night or if she is taking regular naps, but I would highly recommend getting into a regular and strict routine with naps, bathtime, storytime, kisses goodnight, goodnight to baby, lights off. She will not go with it at first. Is she still in a crib? If so then lay her down in it and walk away. She will cry and be upset. If you are like me you will sit in the hallway and cry and think that your baby is suffering and that you are the worst mom in the world. Then your tiny baby will wake up and you will get distracted and have to go feed him. Then your two year old will eventually quiet down. And you will pass out in an exhausted slumber.
If it's any consolation, our now three year old climbs into bed with me every morning at around six. Now with the time change its five. But he does go to sleep on his own. Our now two year old boy is a champion sleeper.

Well, I really don't have an answer for you. I also have a two-year old and would love to know how to accomplish that. At one point, we had her going down on her own then it all fell apart. We're thinking maybe she's ready for a bigger bed. We're going to get her room fixed up with her new bed in there and hope she'll be excited enough to want to go to bed like her sisters. If she's in a crib, maybe she's not comfortable. I know my husband and I are just going to have to get firm about it and we'll be tackling that task very soon.

After watching all the Supernanny and similar shows before my daughter came I vowed we would NEVER sleep together (barring something unforeseen like a hurricane evacuation...)
My husband was not always on board and ran his own program on the nights when I was working. Which was very confusing for my daughter.
In the end though (after many sleep deprived nights) he agreed with me to do the cry it out method. After probably the first couple of days she was going to bed awake, and falling asleep within 15 minutes. (it also helps to make sure she is really tired when you put her down.
After that I also learned to ignore her when she fusses at night in her sleep instead of rushing in like I had when she was a newborn. Now as long as we are on schedule (routine is very important) she will sleep by herself for 10-12 hrs every night. And it is a wonderful thing... Good luck, you've got your hands full.

Check out Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Ferber. I know Ferber is a bad word for some people, but it was a godsend for us, and was helpful to a friend as well. It takes about three days to get your child into a routine, but if you hang in there, it's awesome.

Hi J.,

I know how sleep deprived you can be. Have you tried putting your daughter in your bed to sleep? She is waking up because she does not feel mommy or daddy next to her.

I have 4 kids and after the first child, decided to put the babies and kids in our bed to get some sleep. It is the best thing that I did. The kids are great sleepers now and felt secure knowing that parenting does not only happen during the day. If you change your mindset on the sleep thing and just enjoy this time when they are little, then you will treasure the time you have with your little ones in bed. Also, as the baby gets bigger, try putting them both down in the same bed so they feel each other to snuggle with. My 2 girls 7 & 11 still snuggle up in the same bed at night.
Good luck!

Watch Super Nanny... she has a terrific sleep technique (she also has video clips online)!

Good luck!

You can read books that has to do with her being a big girl now.

O. O

Hi J.! I was in your same situation about a month ago with my almost 2yr old daughter. Let me start out by saying it CAN happen :) My daughter had lots of ear infections and even a few fever induced seizures so needless to say we where in her room the second we heard her. We always helped her go to sleep, and would lay down with her after she woke up in order for her to get back to sleep, and now she is sleeping through the night and putting herself to sleep all by herself. Let me also say I am not a fan of the whole cry it out thing, which was another reason we held off for so long. But after a couple of hard nights for me - she is doing great, and the crying I did hear was out of frustration not fear etc. This is what I did..

I started out by still helping her get to sleep - singing rocking etc and really focused on her going back to sleep on her own. When she woke up in the middle of the night I would say "Honey its night time you need to go back to sleep, your safe and I love you" I would walk her back to her bed and close the door. Now the first night she was very angry she hit the door, screamed at me through the door etc (it was heart breaking!! but totally worth it) After about 20min she went back to sleep - she did sleep on the floor by the door but she went to sleep. The second night I said the same thing when she woke up and the same thing happened but much shorter. The third night she woke up I said the exact same thing and she said okay mommy and went right to sleep! I ran out as fast as I could and did the happy dance :) After a few nights of her sleeping through the night I decided hey why not try getting her to put herself to sleep and it went great! The very first night while I was giving her a bath I told her she was a big girl and mommy was going to let her go to sleep by herself. I tucked her in gave her a kiss and left, she went right to sleep! So it can happen! I know this is a long reply but I guess the main points are: go in confient, it may be tuff for the first couple of nights but it WILL be okay, use the same words each time they are creatures of habbit and routine, and finally I found my daughter really just wanted to be with me so if I tell her mommy is tired and I am going to sleep she did it much easier. Like I said I know this is long but if you have any questions please email me, I was very reluctant to do this and now I am so happy I did. It's all about waiting for the right time and only you will know when that is. Take care and good luck!

I really love the Baby Whisperer methods. Take a look at her books - she has one for toddlers. They are gentle and logical ways to respect both parents' and child's needs. Her methods have worked wonders for our two children! They went from terrible sleep to great sleep!

well the bottom line is you don't HAVE to lay down with her, that's what you chose to do! If you do a normal bedtime routine, then tell her "ok it's time to go to sleep" and leave the room, she will cry and get up, but just keep taking her back to bed and just say the same thing "no you can't get up, it's time to go to sleep". don't give in to her demands (she will ask for one more drink, one more hug, one more song, etc.) it will probably take a couple hours at first. But within a week or 2 she should fall asleep with no problems...she just needs you to put your foot down and let her know what you want from her. Same thing in the middle of the night. If she gets up, make sure her diaper/pull-up is clean, you can let her have a little drink of water, then tell her "it's still nighttime, you need to go back to sleep". again, it might take you standing outside her door for a couple hours putting her back in bed, but she WILL fall asleep eventually! you might have a week or 2 of sleepless nights, but NOW is the time to do it, before she is old enough to remember that mom and dad used to sleep with her! Kids are resiliant and learn new behaviors quickly. In the long run, you and your hubby and kids will sleep more soundly and be happier!
PS my daughters are 4 and 2...I never laid down with them to put them to sleep, and never let them sleep with me....I did exactly what I outlined here and yes, I had some sleepless nights, but it was sooo worth it in the end!

My daughter had gone through the same thing. It was a nightmare. I would sit with her for at least 2 hours every night just to get her to sleep. I was getting so worn-out. I finally just put her in her bed and made her stay. She would get up and I would put her back to bed and she would cry. It took a long time but "super-nanny" works. I started this around the 2 year old age. It was very hard, but it finally worked. She is now 5 and I put her to bed w/a book to read to her babies and it still takes her at least an hour to go to sleep. Just be consistant about getting her to bed and making her stay there. It will work out.

Good luck