2 Year Old---how to Sleep in Big Boy Bed

First, I think whatever gets kids to sleep is worth it and you don't need to feel bad for anything you've done in the past if it worked.
So, you have two options. You can put a mattress on the floor of his room and lay down with him until he falls asleep (does this happen quickly if you don't leave?). Or you can put a gate at his door and let him follow you to the door and not pay attention to him so that he realizes he won't get attention for it and after a while stops.

OMG! J.!!! My husband and I JUST went through this exact same thing! Down to the letter & every last word! Here's what we did & it worked like a charm in 2 nights!!!

We rewarded her for staying in bed. I would do our normal routine finishing up by laying her down in bed & tucking her in. I explained if she stayed in bed there would be a little treat on her night stand when she woke up. Of course, I did this all in words she understands. Then I would say in a fun almost singing voice "Stay in bed.... Stay in bed!" I would do this while creeping out of the room. I would keep saying it then pop back in really fast. She got a huge laugh out of it. I would do this about 6 or 7 times, each time staying away longer & closing the door more before I popped back in. The last time I just kind of drifted off & didn't go back in. She stayed in bed & when she woke up there was a kit-kat on her night stand. She loved it. Next night I reminded her of the kit-kat & we started all over again. She loves the idea though & I can now put her to bed in (drum-roll please)....... 5 minutes!!!!! I hope this helps you because it really worked for us. I was at the end of my fuse. I was so frustrated!

Good luck J.!

Hi J..
My son is not quite 2 yet, but we just went through the transition with him to his big boy bed (last week in fact). Whew! It was rough for about 4-5 days/nights, but he has now adjusted & is doing fine in his new bed.
He was starting to climb out of his crib & open doors, so we told him he needed to sleep in his big boy bed after that. He kept getting out of bed, like you described with your son, & coming into our room numerous times during the night. However, we did not give in & take him into our bed as it was a habit we wanted to avoid. We just kept getting up & taking him back to his own bed. It was VERY tiring though!
Finally, we remembered that we had some door knob covers my sister-in-law had given us. We put one of those on his door so he couldn't keep wandering out of his room in the night. (I have also heard of parents putting a gate in the doorway to keep their child in their room). He was pretty mad about it at first & cried & threw a fit, but that was only a couple of times. After he realized he needed to stay in his room, he would just climb back into his bed & go to sleep. It worked well for him because it took away the temptation to get up & wander around (which I'm sure was much more interesting than sleeping, but not good for him). Now he is used to it & it's the new norm for him. If he woke up in the night & needed his diaper changed, he would get up knock on his door (& sometimes cry) to let us know. But lately he hasn't even been waking up during the night. My husband just goes in & changes him once during the night. If he wakes up before I do (like he did this morning), he just gets up & plays or reads books quietly.
Anyway, that's how we did it. You have to do what works for you & your son, & it does take some time to make the change/adjustment. I hope you find a workable solution for your family!

Yes, you have created a difficult situation and now is the time to put yourself in his place.....he is now expected to sleep by himself in a big (to him) room and mommy and daddy are still sleeping together.
Put his mattress or crib mattress on the floor by your bed and let him sleep there until he is older.
We always put our six children to bed in their beds and then if they awoke in the middle of the night, they could come into our bed where they must go back to sleep.
It worked well for us as far as getting our rest, and it did not last forever.
Our oldest daughter did come in one night when she was 16 or so because she had a very scary nightmare, but none of the others did it past probably age 6 or 7.
You established this precedent so take pity on your little boy and let him grow out of it.

i also have a similar question lol, so i am waiting to hear your responses, its horrible being ruled by a toddler

Hi J.! I understand what you are going though, and I know it is very frusterating. I was in a very similar situation with my now 3 year old. He slept with me for a long time, then the crib, and back with me whenever he would wake up in the middle of the night. I wasn't getting much sleep and things needed to change. So, I read a lot of different books, and basically made plans. I read No- Cry Sleep Solution, The Floppy Sleep Game Book, and the Ferber book and others in between. I made up my own combination plan that I would try for a period of time, and journal everything that happened. I would then go back and asses how things were going.
I started with following the same bedtime routine and timing throughout the day including naps. I paid attention that he didn't watch tv or eat anything high in sugar before the routine. He had a dependency on me to fall asleep so I gradually would sit a little farther out of the room, and for a shorter time. (It was importnat that I told him what would be going on beforehand.) Then, I would whisper that I had to go potty and would be back. I lenngthed the time coming back and he would often be asleep by then. I would make noise downstairs so he could hear me and that seemed to help. If he can back down I would put him back without any reaction, and sit with him for a little bit. However when he woke up in the middle of the night I did the no reaction and went back to bed and he stopped coming down after 2 nights. (I think he was so tired he didn't want to put up a fight.)
Anyways, good luck. Remember that all kids go thorugh phases and he won't be this little forever. Also, we read a lot of kids books- like Mommy, I want to Sleep in Your Bed and The Boy and the Bear- a relaxation book.

I don't have any advice, because I'm just a few steps behind you...I'm looking forward to reading your responses, in hopes that they might get me ready for dealing with this.

Please don't listen to Angie....you should never bribe your children to do what is expected of them. It may work but what are you teaching them? You can get what you want from Mom and Dad if you make their life miserable and then do what they want when you get what you want?!!!!! And a candy bar to a 2 year old? That is terrible!
Very simple can be frustrating but simple none the less. If they get out of bed quietly put them back in as many times as it takes until they stay there and go to sleep. My 2 older ones were transitioned out of cribs before age 2 no problems they know their room is for sleeping..they don;t get out unless they have to go potty! The baby is only 5 months old but I don't anticipate any problems with her either.
Good Luck
K.

There is hope, you just have to be consistent. Just like you set a pattern that got him used to sleeping with you, you have to set a pattern of letting him know that now he sleeps by himself. It may take weeks before you get him to sleep without fighting it, and it may be months before he stops trying to change things back completely, but after he catches on that every night you put him in the big boy bed, and no matter what he is going to keep getting put in the big boy bed, he'll stop fighting it. You need to not let him engage you at bedtime. Do the bedtime routine, put him where he belongs, and that's the end of the conversation. If he gets up, put him back, as many times as it takes. Your silent repetition of the same pattern will tell him more about what the facts are than any amount of explaining you try to do. Just like a child will not starve themselves to death, or die if they hold their breath during a tantrum, they also will sleep when they are tired enough, even if they would rather sleep somewhere else.

Hi. Well, I didn't have exactly the same problem (my DS is 4 and still doesn't get out of bed by himself and calls to us if he needs to pee!) but I do remember bedtime dragging on and on at that age. (He changed to a bed right around his 2nd birthday.) He wanted one more story, one more this, one more that, etc. etc. and we kept doing it. Bedtime was getting longer and longer, and then I was pg and I couldn't stand and rock him for 20 minutes like I used to. So we started shortening things. Now we ask upfront, "What two stories do you want?" and he picks the stories, but it's only two (unless he picks a super short one, in which case he sometimes talks us into three, but two is the norm). You might be able to pare things down some that way. This is the routine, and that's all it is, goodnight, I love you.

As for the protesting, when I would put him to bed around that age and he would complain or want me to come back, I'd make a game of it. I'd get all silly and dramatic and come swooping back to his bed and say in an over-dramatic way, "Oh, but I CAN'T stay, but I LOVE YOU!" and shower him with kisses, then run out crying dramatically, "I LOOVVVE YOUUU!" He would think that was funny and it would distract him from protesting, and it actually became part of our routine for a while.

Not that that exact thing would work, but I was desperate and a moment of (possibly lame :) ) creativity struck me and it worked. Try some different things and see what sticks.

I don't know about the wandering. (We were lucky with DS, so we'll see what happens with DD! She's only almost 13 months.) When he was still in the crib we put a baby gate across his bedroom door because we assumed eventually he'd start jumping out of his crib or getting out of bed. We have upstairs bedrooms and were thinking of safety and not wanting him to go wandering in the night. It also helped because during the bedtime routine he'd try to escape. But he was used to the gate being there by the time he went into a bed. In your case, it might be more painful because your DS would probably go to the gate and cry, and then it's a matter of whether you can deal with cry-it-out or not. If not, I know that most "experts" say that when they wander, you're supposed to walk them right back to bed and put them in without talking or interacting with them so they don't get the reward of your attention (by talking to them) and that at first you might have to do it 50 times a night but that eventually they'll get the picture. I don't have any experience with that (but am trying to plan ahead in case DD turns out to be a wanderer :) ) but I'll be interested to see what other parents of wanderers say. Good luck!

Hello! I have never had this problem with my 2 boys but do have some thoughts on the issue. First of all, I do think that consistency pays off. Like some of the other mamas suggested, keep putting him back in bed with minimal amounts of talk and stimulation. It will be hard for a while but he will get the hint that it's bedtime and time to sleep. Next, I noticed that you have a younger child in the house. Could be that your big boy isn't feeling the same amount of attention or affection that he's gotten use to because mommy and daddy don't seem to have as much time. I would suggest a special cuddle tickle time with him every evening. Reassure him that you both still love him and want him to be happy and that he is getting to be such a big boy for staying in his own bed. I just wonder if he's trying to make up for, what he considers lost time. He's starting to see bedtime as his social time with mom and dad. If you don't already, make sure you give him a heads up before bedtime. I usually tell my 3 yr old when he has about a half hour left. Now when I say something about a pull up, he says "You know what time it is". He also gets to choose who puts him to bed, me or my hubby. Good luck with this. I hope that some of this helped you. T. M.

how about this;-- say you'll stay with him in his room under two conditions: no talking and eyes closed on his pillow, because it's time for sleep. (we can talk all you want during the day, etc, but not when it's sleeping time)
if he starts talking, or gets out of bed, then leave the room. my kids like listening to stories on CD or lullabies.

that way you're in there with him, but he has to focus on sleeping in order for you to be there so it hopefully won't take two hours.

i don't know, seems like it might work...?
keep trying though-- time with your husband is important for you and for your relationship!

I don't have any advice either. It sounds like a right of passage for the kids to make us get as little sleep as possible.

The advice our Pediatrician did give us was to keep our kids in the crib as long as they wanted to be in there. Our son never tried climbing out of it and only moved when it was time to put his sister in there. He was about 2 and a half. She is now 19 months and loves being in there.

Perhaps there's a fear of something you need to uncover. Do you have a nightlight or two in there? We found with our daughter that she needed soft, classical music on because that's what she gets at DayCare at naptime.

Not all kids are good sleepers. We just need to set boundaries. Know what yours are, what you're willing to be flexible on, and be consistent.

You can coerce your kids with more than candy. Sometimes, we negotiate an extra story at bedtime for better behavior during the day. Is it really bad to spend the extra time with your child cultivating their love of books/creativity?

Good luck.

We have not made the transition yet but plan to in about a month after all the family visits and holidays-my son turned 2 in July and we are expecting #2 in Feb. just a little about me-anyhow I have heard from other parents that it can take some time but you just have to keep walking them back to their bed and telling them its sleepy time-first talk to them tell them its okay its time for bed the first 3 or so times going back-then no talking just walk them to their bed and leave-and keep doing this over and over until finally they pass out-it may take a long time the first few nights or a week or so to learn that you are not going to stay with him! But I hear after that they get it and go to bed. You might also consider giving him a flashlight and letting him have some books to read in his bead I have some friends who do this and they say it has helped-he may stay up later but at least he's in his room and you are able to have your time that way as well? Just thoughts because I don't know yet how it'll be! AAAA scared to find out! Naps too-I'm worried about that!
good luck
k