2 1/2 Year Old "Holding It" Instead of Using the Toilet

She may be holding it because she had a painful bowel movement at one time. This is what happened to my daughter - she ended up suffering from ecopresis because of it and it has been a very long haul that we are still dealing with (she is 6). What your friends daughter is going through is very normal. If it were me, knowing what I know now, I'd let her wear diapers and make sure her diet is healthy, this will ensure soft poops. When a child holds her urine, she may get UTI's when a child holds her bowels, it will get impacted and become very painful to pass. Not sure if she was having issues with pee and poo or just pee but there's my .02 regarding holding poop.

Best wishes,
M.

I have to agree with Susan's point...she may not be ready yet. Every kiddo in their own time will display the signs of being ready.

My son is 2.5 and is now starting to display the signs of being upset about being 'so wet' and having to go 'poop'. So, as we move closer I've started to show him the potty chair and the toilet and let him flush it.

It's a process and needs to be handled with care and patience...

Um yah, holding it is not good... it can lead to infections.

This is common and it's hard. But remember, that kids ALWAYS have transgressions and back-sliding with toilet training.
It sounds like she is not "fully" ready for all this. Just my take on it. And if she is not ready... toilet training can ALWAYS be re-visited at a later time.

there should be no pressure on her... no punishment, no comparisons etc. This will only deter a child, not encourage them.

Sometimes, a child will hold their pee/poop because it is their body and they feel 'stressed' and holding it is a way of "coping" with all that is expected of them. I do NOT see it as a "control" problem in a negative way... it is merely a way for them to cope and deal with it and the anxiety of it. Thus I say, do not pressure a child like this.

I would not push the child. She does not seem completely 'ready' for this yet. How long has your friend been trying to toilet train her daughter? Each child is different.

I would wait on the toilet training. She NEEDS to pee. Holding it will only cause pain, discomfort, possible infections etc. and emotional anxiety. Then it becomes a vicious cycle. And you don't want this to then happen with pooping either. Holding poop is not good either.
I think, wait... give her time, revisit the toilet training later.

All the best,
Susan

Try the tips on this page - It might actually work for her!
http://www.gomommygo.com/pottytraining.html
Best,
R.
PS - also - drinking grape juice and more fruits,
plus yogurt helps the body to naturally WANT to go, and not hold it.

Hi Christina, The only advice I can give you is to tell her that all training takes reward and discipline. I don't want to offend your friend, but at 2 1/2 she should be using the toilet and going on her own at this age. Some times parents start their kids late thinking that they will have more sucess this way, but for the most part it doesn't work that way,because the longer you do something the bigger of a habit it becomes. So thye longer a child goes wering diapers or pull ups the more comfortable and secure they feel doing so. J. L.

We are in the midst of potty training right now. To start with letting him run around half naked has been key to him recognizing when he needs to go. Also a potty chart shaped like a ladder with a prize at the top has helped him understand the reward system. He gets a sticker on the chart and a few m&ms or fruit snacks or a penny each time he goes. After ten successes he gets a little prize (nothing too expensive- we bought a bag of plastic frogs and lizards at the dollar store and he would get one) or if he poops in the potty he gets an immediate prize. My friend took her son around the house and had him help her gather up all diaper related stuff and throw it in a trash bag and then throw it away. He got a prize for helping her do that. good luck!

She's probably just having a good time and doesn't want to interrupt it to go potty, or maybe she's afraid that if she leaves, she won't get to play with the same toy when she gets back. You can take her to the bathroom regularly and encourage her to try even if she doesn't say she needs to go. And you can reassure her by guarding whatever she was playing with and promising she'll get it back when she's done. I do this to help my son because he has the same habit and it works really well when I keep it up. Good luck!