Hi moms,
I have asked many questions in the past with some insight as to what the answer may be, but this one baffles me. My daughter has been increasingly clingy lately. She wants to be held most of the time, doesn't want me to leave the room come bed time (only doing this to me, not hubby), or is always wanting to give me a hug. I don't mind any of this because I realize before I know it she will be older and may not want me so much. But I just don't understand where this behavior is coming from. She is an only child so she gets all the attention all the time. My only other thought is with me working 40hrs/wk that she misses me and is making up for lost time. I do things with her all the time on my off days, but she isn't like this with my husband. Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks again moms!
Don't be affended but are you pregnant? Mines doing everything you discribed the only difference between you and I. Is I'm home with her 24-7 you said you work. Little ones can sense things. Thats the only thing I can think of unless shes really unhappy with you working and whos watching her.
I think it's probobly her age. I have 5 kids and 3 of them did this at 2. Currently my 2 year old son:) I work from home, so you would think they get enough of me and would want dad when he's home. Dad is for playing on - mom is for comfort. Maybe at 2 they are just starting to realize they can make things happen on their own when they want something, and who doesn't want mom?
My 2 1/2 yr old is doing the same thing, or has been, he is getting a little better. I think that it is just a phase for this age. The only other thing would be to consider if she is getting enough sleep and if there have been any changes in routine, new daycare, different work hours for you or your husband, change in diet, I would ask if there have been any changes in the daycare as far as their schedule goes, new children, new helpers, if this is a home daycare is the husband now laid off, and how much time is he spending with the kids, and in what capacity, etc. Did the clingyness start after a vacation, or family visit, or incident at the playground with other kids?
If all is normal and all the answers are no, then I would think that it is a phase, try to enjoy it because soon they won't want you in the room.
No answer her but will be watching the answers. I am going through the same thing with my 4 yr old grandson. I counted the other day and it was at least 52 hugs and I spend all day with him most of the time. I am kinda looking forward to preschool.
Hi W.,
I think your right she probably does miss you, but I have found that my son 2 1/2 gets that way too when he's over tired. Or has been behind in sleep. Is she getting enough sleep? I think she clings to you especially for comfort.
Just a thought.
T.
My son is like this and has been for some time... it's an age thing and will pass... I'd just eat it up and give her as much attention as you can at this age. That's what I try to do and keep thinking as some age (teenager time for sure), I'll wish that I could spend time with my little one still. Mom is always better than Dad here especially.. my son will ask an hour before bedtime if I'm putting him to bed and then whine and ask for an hour, then complain if husband puts him to bed. He still does.. thank goodness he has thick skin when son tells him to go to work, go downstairs... I don't want you to put me night nights..
Sounds like a combination of a developmental stage and the fact that you're working outside the home. I'd be as understanding as possible, putting words to what she must be feeling and reassuring her. When you have to leave her, be firm but empathetic. Don't overdo the drama. Maintain a confident, positive demeanor about her being all right and you returning whenever you will. She's identifying with you, not Daddy, at this time I think. She wants to be with you. Having girlfriends, preschool, playdates, special privileges for being such a big girl now - all these things would help.
We seem to be going thru the same thing. just all of a sudden she wants in our bed, she wants to be rocked, or held.. and clings to our legs alot too. lol
but her schedule hasnt changed much and is still in school her normal times. so dont know if its a "2" thing or not.
maybe just a phase they go thru or what.
W. I think it is because she is w/o you for so long. My daugther was very clinging when she was this age in fact she always has been. I think it is because I worked full time. She has always been very independent but always clinging when I am around. I just let her be clinging.....at 2 1/2 I let her continue to co sleep to help her with this and as she got older I tried not to encourage it but if she wanted me and she wanted to hug or sit on my lap I allowed it. This is all what gives her confidence knowing I am there and loving her and that ultimately is what she needed and what she needs now. She is 10 now and still sits on me or hugs me constantly.....but in a room with her peers she is as confident as you would expect a 10 year old to be :)
I did read Love Languages for Children and realized she was a physical child and after that I seemed to understand her needs better.
What I learned W. when raising our son, who is now 25, is that at different stages the size of their world changes dramatically. 2-2 1/2 is one of those times. You'll get a lot of responses I think that will say just appreciate it it won't last long enough. Also, I think we can influence greatly the child's level of confidence in facing their bigger world each time by how we respond to the huggyness.
I like to think of it as supplementing with vitamins...when they go thru growth spurts they simply need more and if I give them good quality supplementation they will be stronger. Times will come when she wants more of Daddy than you...and that is right and good.
As moms don't we sometimes let guilt seep in because we work outside the home? Is that part of what you're feeling?
Blessings to you W. as you bless your little girl every time you hug her.
M.
