1Yr Old Can't Fall Asleep Without Nursing

Updated on August 16, 2008
A.C. asks from Brandon, MS
17 answers

Hi, I am constantly having to nurse my 1yr old to get him to get him to sleep. Its like he doesnt know how to fall asleep on his own and is dependent on the nursing (even for naps!). I don't want to wean him yet but wish he could go to sleep without having to be nursed. Any advice?

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C.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Both of my babies learned fairly easily to fall asleep without nursing (I say as I continue to pat my 14 month old in my lap and tell him, "just let me type this, and THEN we'll nurse" LOL). However, I can tell you that weaning isn't really necessary. You might try putting him off at nap time. Pat for awhile, cuddle for a bit, THEN nurse. Or try getting your significant other to put him down sometimes. That is what finally worked for me. My husband would put him down on nights he, my husband was still awake at bedtime. Having DADDY rock him was very soothing to baby, and it let my nipples have an evening off ;)

You might try setting up a sleeping routine. Read book, listen to this one song, then rocks and cuddles, and then, if you have to, nursing for just a few minutes, then back to rocks and cuddles. Delete a step for naps or add a step for bedtime, to show a difference between the two.

You really don't have to teach babies to sleep. They eventually learn... I've never heard of a 16 year old who had to be nursed to sleep ;) Granted, I have sighed and said that I wonder what my son's college friends will think when he needs "Muh" after a stressful class. But we all have days like that LOL

Listen to the woman who said The No-Cry Sleep Solution. My sister used it with GREAT success with her twins. She believes in gentle parenting, and said there was no crying, little stress on her, and no stress on the babies!

And now my son has decided not to wait anymore, so I'm going to go nurse him and see if HE'LL go down for a nap after he settles down. He's about three hours late on it, so WE ARE IN A MOOD!!!

Good luck. Follow your instincts, and enjoy your baby while you can. My first one goes off to first grade in two weeks, and my oldest (who came as a package deal with my husband when he was just a little boy) can nearly look me in the eye as he gets ready for fourth! The time passes so much too quickly :*)

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H.S.

answers from Texarkana on

How presh that you're still nursing!
(Healthy baby, here you come!)

I sadly have no advice!! LOL

I just weaned so gradually with all but my boys--who had to both quit cold turkey, because they were no-remedy bloo-bringing biters!!

You might try just snuggling/playing some nights...putting it off for as long as possible...?? In hopes that sometimes he'll just fall asleep. Eventually, he will, I'm sure...

BUT...most mothers find, I think, that the "bedtime boobies" are the last to go...in other words, babies that don't nurse all day will definitely want to at night...

I say just play it by ear. You and the baby may be approaching weaning time, if you are beginning to get antsy about bedtime nursings. Just try to pay attention to what both you and the baby need.
And enjoy this blessed time!! It flies!!

Luvs,
H.

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M.O.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Well, let me start by saying - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. It is a beautiful thing that you are still nursing, GOOD FOR YOU! Maybe he is not 'dependent' on the nursing to go to sleep, but the feelings the nursing gives him; comfort,warmth,love,protected,nourished,etc.. Since you are wanting him to go to sleep on his own, try a lullaby CD and rocking him until he is drowsy enough that you can lay him down for a nap or nighttime. You will have to nurse him for awhile while rocking him, with the CD on in the background, when he is done gently break the suction with your finger and take your nipple out of his mouth, cover your breast(w/your bra or shirt)hold him close and still keep rocking for a little bit, then set him in his crib and let him sleep. You can nurse a little less each time, until he gets adjusted to the routine of the music and rocking and eventually get to the point where the routine of the rocking and CD will put him down. Important tip: only play the CD when it is time for nap/bedtime and it will become his cue for his body to get ready for sleep. Hope this helps.

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A.H.

answers from Biloxi on

Hi A..

Wean him, or you will never get any peace! He's had all that he needs from your milk at this point.

When I had to wean my son, the doctor told me to let him cry. After two hours, he was quiet. The next night, it took him 5 minutes. After that, no more problems. But each child is different. What works for one, may not work for another. Keep trying till you find what works for him. Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from Alexandria on

The advice from Margaret is perfect. that is how I weaned my first daughter. With my 1 year old we already have a routine down so when I decide to stop nursing it will be easy.

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K.W.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I also think that is totally normal. My one-year-old daughter still loves to nurse to sleep. =) However, if you really, really feel that you need to change this, you can look at Elizabeth Pantley's book No Cry Sleep Solution. She deals with this very issue in a gentle way.

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P.M.

answers from New Orleans on

I don't think weaning has anything to do with his sleep habits. Children need to learn to self-soothe and our jobs as parents is to help them do that. The Ferber method helps you develop a graduated "schedule" for your child to experiment with self-soothing. It also helps you, as a mom, get your kid started on distinguishing between food and comfort. Ferber is great at helping you develop a highly nurturing,no-nursing bedtime routine. Check out the method in Ferber's book: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I highly recommend it.

SI think Ferber has the best method for getting kids to sleep on their own. Get the Ferber book

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B.V.

answers from Enid on

How about intermittently using a bottle? If you can get him to use a bottle and hold him with some petting this may placate and relax him enough so he can sleep. He just wants the feel of him mama. I had to pet (and twirl some locks) for years to help my grandaughter go to sleep. Kids are funny little angels.
B.

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D.B.

answers from New Orleans on

hi A.,

in my opinion the need for nursing regardless of hunger such as for naptime is a clear indication of the need for security. the child feels safe in your arms, close to you, connected in fact. i know it's alot for you to feel that you are always with child at your breast. be patient as possible. the yrs of this pass so quickly and you will one day look back and wish you had him small enough to nurse again. Moms also enjoy that connection, the closeness and bond we feel with our little ones during nursing times. I loved it!
And often wish I could feel that way again, but unfortunately my time for that is over. My baby soon will be 26 yrs old!

Try giving a stuffed toy to cuddle while he sleeps, something safe of course, Also, I used to play so very soft children's meditation-type music for my little ones to sleep. They enjoyed the cassette of rain, as well as gentle music. Remember music is soothing and quite healing to the soul! It hurts nothing to use it. I still use music for naptime for my great neice who stays with me while her mom works. And I use soothing music for myself when I cannot sleep at night! it still works well. lol..

You lose nothing by playing music and may find that your little sleeps quite peacefully during naps and all night.

take care and give him some hugs and kisses from me!

sincerely,
D.

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B.S.

answers from Hattiesburg on

That reflects the normal sucking need of all infants for normal brain development. I wouldn't push him to change that. It is very healthy for him to nurse before bed. He is just doing what God created him to do. Bedtome nursing is usually the last to go when the child is weaned.
B. S. RN CCM

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F.A.

answers from Fayetteville on

Nursing before sleep is one of the most important moments a baby has with you. A baby knows he/she will be alone while sleeping and that separation is tough. We probably would all pick being held and cuddled off to sleep if we had a choice! Some babies wean early and some later. My first daughter weaned at a year, the second at 28 months. Just let the baby figure it out on his own.

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D.D.

answers from Anniston on

Well, if you are an at home mom...listen, my youngest son didn't get weaned till he was 2 1/2 and really, by the time he was 1 1/2 or so, it was mostly comfort nursing. If your son won't take a pacifier...then I don't know that there is an easy solution. I know it can get exhausting and frustrating, but listen, babies grow up so fast you should just enjoy this bonding time with him. Boys love their mamas and there is no crime about nursing babies to sleep. I think thats what nursing is all about, the bonding and taking time with our babies. Good luck to you. If you get tired, take a nap when he does. :) I've been back at work for 6 years now, but I sure miss the days at home with my 2 boys when they were small. Good luck to you!

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C.F.

answers from Shreveport on

You don't need to wean him at all, just teach him to fall asleep on his own. We did this with our DD at about 15 months and although she's still nursing at age 2 (yes, yes, I know...but she has had a lot of upheaval with 3 moves in 6 months, so I'm letting her keep one familiar thing til we settle), she goes to bed on her own after her evening nursing. You'll have to be prepared for a lot of tears the first couple days, but they get over it pretty fast. Try starting the nursing earlier so that he's not quite tired and doesn't fall asleep immediately, then when he is finished, pop him in his crib and explain what's going on. He will sob and you will feel like the lousiest mom on the planet, but it does get better, I promise! :) You can do it!

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C.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

mine had to learn to fall asleep on their own too. they don't actually know how to fall asleep on their own. especially since they want the most comfortable thing in the world to them, you. i had to start to not do that, especially since you might be weaning sometime soon and then they have no choice. if it was not time for them to eat, and they just wanted to nurse for comfort i could start to tell the difference. i would then just rock them close to me instead and they would try to nurse a coupld of times but realize they were not going to so they would just drift off instead. i used it for a long time too to help them get to sleep but it was to my detriment when it came to sleeping on their own. hope this helps!

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A.S.

answers from Dothan on

I nursed both my children for an extended time, and they always nursed to sleep. My first husband & I divorced when my daughter was 2, and when she slept at his house, she went to sleep without nursing, but when she was with me, she wanted to nurse. One night she was nursing, sat up and said, "no more," and she never asked to nurse again. I actually missed it. She is 20 now, and my son is 10. Looking back, I have no regrets in that area. If I had another baby, I would nurse them to sleep also, and I wouldn't worry about what anyone says.

~A.~

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A.W.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I wouldnt stress too much about it. My daughter did the same thing. When she was about 15 months she just decided she didnt want to nurse anymore and put herself to sleep. I was not ready for her to stop nursing but she has put herself to sleep ever since. Hope its that easy for you too. Good luck and God bless!

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N.W.

answers from Little Rock on

Enjoy the time, it is too short. Mom of five.

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