My daughter is soo incredibly shy and I don't know what to do! She is scared if almost all adults and sometimes even cries when people even look at her. She is fine and happy to see people when we are out shopping, etc, but is scared of Grandma and Grandpa (who she sees on a regular basis)! We are involed in story time at the library and we visit a childrens museum every week. She loves these activites, and loves anything that involves other children. I work part time and she stays with my Grandmother while I work, so she is used to be away from me. However, anytime we are around other adults she clings to me. I am protective of her, but have never sheltered her. She comes with my boyfriend and I everywhere we go. Im so confused on why she is this shy. My mom says I was the same way when I was her age. Could this be hereditary? It so bad sometimes that she will scream and cry even if the person is on the other side of the room. Please help!
Some kids are shy, some aren't. I'd continue to put her into socail situations but don't push her at all. It's OK to be shy and introspective.
My daughter was the exact same way, truly. Not long after her first birthday this started. I honestly didn't do much about it other than what you are doing - library storytime, museums, taking her to stores, etc. She would scream and cry just like your daughter. She is 22 months now and much, much, much better. However, she still has her moments - sometimes there will be a particular person that seems to scare her half to death. However, now I can reason with her and it's easier to show her that she's safe with Mommy and Daddy. So, I think your daughter will get better too.
Yes, it could be hereditary. You are doing the best you can by continuing to expose her to new situations. She will get better, but shyness can absolutely be inborn, so I wouldn't push her too hard.
I will say I don't really think she should be afraid of her grandparents if she see's them daily for daycare unless she is afraid you will leave her with them.
My now 4 year old was like that. She didn't warm up to my dad, brother, and sister until she was almost 2 1/2. But she loved my other sister. I was the same way as you are and was like - what's going on? Now she adores them and we laugh about how she was so scared of them. I wouldn't worry about it. It's just your daughter sorting out her comfort zone. She's still new to this world and has to adjust in her own way. Have patience with her and let her be herself and try to evaluate the situation too much. She'll be fine : )
just respect her feelings. dont EVER force her to be sociable, that will only make it worse. it sounds like shes having normal separation anxiety, she knows you dont leave her at story time, but shes unsure if you are going to leave her with gma and gpa or whatever. maybe its in the way you leave? are you "sneaking out" while shes distracted to avoid her being upset that you are leaving? if so, you are causing her to not know when you are leaving and when you arent... so she gets confused. you need to tell her goodbye, that you will see her later, you are going to work, and she CAN and SHOULD watch you leave, and return. that way you arent sneaking out. its really confusing. its like "is mom going to leave me this time?"
if you arent doing that, great, just do what i said in the beginning and be sensitive to her feelings, dont force her to say hello or be held by someone even if its just gma and gpa. she has her reasons, and its perfectly ok, as long as you dont force her to be upset and uncomfortable.
if you are doing all these things, just be patient and wait it out. its a phase. :)
This is a pretty common phase that some kids go through. Most of the time she will out grow it so long as you don't make a big production out of it. Just make sure you reassure her but don't remove her from the situation where there are adults around. The older she gets the more she will become self confident around adults. Why we teach our children about "stranger danger" I would certainly talk to her about at at the appropriate time but since she is so shy around adults I would stress the difference between "teachers, principals etc and actually "strangers" so that she doesn't freak out when school starts or if you have to put her in day care etc.. Have faith that she will out grow it and your clinging vine may be a social butterfly soon.
Her behavior is completely developmentally appropriate for that age.
If you tended to be a shy child, she may have inherited your temperament to some degree. But even children who aren't unusually shy can be very shy at 16 months.
I am married to an introvert, and I don't like the way our society puts some negative connotations on being shy. Not everyone has to be naturally outgoing.
It sounds like stranger anxiety to me. This is a phase, and they do get through it. If you are concerned, you can ask her ped about it just to ensure that that is all it is.
Alot of little ones' are very shy however you mentioned 2 ppl. inparticular. You said that grandma and grandpa take care of her while you work. I am not suggesting anything bad here so please don't panic, I am being very sincere. Has grandma or grandpa disciplined her in any way that would terribly upset her. Something that she is not used to, and when did this start? Just recently? You have to remember that our parents' are old school and maybe your mom may have done something that would be within her boundry of child rearing but didn't go over to well with your daughter. Just ask your mom out of the blue how she treats her with discipline rather than yourself. It just seems odd that she is afraid of older ppl. and why it makes me think that this is why she is acting the way she is.
It sounds like you and your mother have a good repoire and I'm sure she would understand. Or bring up new discipline in the schools etc. just for her to open up. This is not something hereditery, it could be something so very small but something your daughter didn't like. She now looks at other adults in the same prespective as your mom and dad. Just check it out and watch how she is when you go and pick her up. It could maybe be that mom is tired and coping with her daily is sometimes to much, she hasn't done something terribly wrong but she has obviously done or said something to her.
Good luck and I sure hope everything works out well in the end!
Our daughter was the same way. She used to cry if she notibed someone in a restaurant looking at her and would cry nonstop if there was an adult visitor in her room at daycare even if itvwas someone she saw everyday. She is slowly outgrowing it. She is still very cautious around unfamiliar adults even if we are right there with her, but she no longer cries. I was extremely shy all the way through high school and college and am still somewhat uncomfortable around people I don't know well. Give her time and encouragement and she will probably outgrow what you are seeing now. She may always be a little shy but the more she is around people the better it will get.
