1 Year Old Is Afraid to Sleep in Crib

It's just a little seperation anxiety which will pass and hopefully soon. I've experienced that with each one of my trio. It is a phase they go through and then they're fine again. My girls still go through it from time to time but it's gotten MUCH better in terms of getting them back to sleep again quickly. With one, we just have to pick her up and hold her and she'll pretty much fall asleep again and then with my other, we don't even have to take her out of her crib. When she stands up, we just hold her for a little while and then gently lay her down again and that usually does the trick.

I never thought anyone else had this same situation. I have a 2 year old who when she was 20 months did the same thing. The only way she would fall asleep was to lay her on my bed and she would be out in 15 minutes but the minute I moved her to her crib she would wake up and start crying and trying to climb out of the crib. The minute I put her back on the bed she she was sleeping. This went on for almost a month, My husband was about to go out and buy an air matress so he could sleep on it and leave her w/ me in the bed. THERE IS HOPE. I would keep putting her back in the crib until eventually she stayed there all night long. I think it's just a phase they go through. Now I'm planning to move her into a toddler bed when we are on vacation from work because I have a feeling I'm going to have a couple of LONG nights!

I would go back to cosleeping for a while and try it again later. As one of my friends put it, one day, he'll grow up and not want to be around you at all. So cherish him cosleeping and ease him into his own bed when he's really ready. No sense in pushing him into it. He's so little yet. Givign him the security he wants and is comfortable w/ now will ensure a very secure boy as he grows up.

Story: one of my friends co-slept w/ her girls for the longest time. Once DD2 came, DD1 (about 3yo) started sleeping on a mattress on the floor at the end of their bed. Down the road, the 2 DDs slept together in another room. Now they're older and have their own rooms.

HTH! Good luck.

He has probably learnt that this strategy works for getting him to not have to sleep alone. While it is hard, I would try to put him down in the crib, pat him and then leave. Generally, children need to learn how to fall asleep themselves. Cry it out is not advised before a child is 6 months old but a little after that won't hurt them and may in the long run help them learn the specific skill they need which is the ability to self sooth and fall asleep. In talking to friends, those who have the most long term problems with their children not wanting to sleep by themselves seem to have let their children sleep with them when younger and then it was very hard to break the habit later. While I lean more in general to attachment parenting, I didn't have the option of having my sweetie sleep with me as I don't sleep a wink with her in beside me - she sleeps great but I don't.
If you want to break this cycle, I would try being firm, putting him in his crib and then leaving. He will cry for a little while but will after a few nights be back sleeping well by himself.

I don't think that he's afraid of the crib. I think he just wants to be with you.
I would give it a few nights of him screaming, maybe sit in there with him until he falls asleep, don't hold him though. Let him stay in the crib and you in a chair (if you have one in there) or on the floor.
Any transitions usually have screaming or crying or both on their part.
GOOD LUCK!!

This is an excerpt from Babycenter on Yahoo. I think it describes pretty well what your child is going through:

Babies can show signs of separation anxiety as early as 6 or 7 months, but the crisis age for most babies is between 12 to 18 months. Most commonly, separation anxiety strikes when you or your spouse leaves your child to go to work or run an errand. Babies can also experience separation anxiety at night, safely tucked in their cribs with Mom and Dad in the next room.
How should we handle nighttime separation anxiety?
Your baby's fear of being separated from you at night is very real for him, so you'll want to do your best to keep the hours preceding bedtime as nurturing and peaceful (and fun) as possible. In addition:
• Spend some extra cuddle time with your baby before bed by reading, snuggling, and softly singing together.

• If your baby cries for you after you've put him to bed, it's fine to go to him — both to reassure him and to reassure yourself that he's okay. But make your visits "brief and boring," and he'll learn to fall back to sleep without a lot of help from you. Eventually, he'll be able to fall asleep on his own.
Hope this helps.

He probably isn't in pain or afraid, but would rather just be with you. He wakes up and the fun, loving, caring person isn't around for him to play with! You basically have 3 choices: continue trying the fall asleep/place in crib method, let him sleep with you all night, or start putting him to bed in his crib and giving him time to figure out how to do it on his own.

Oh Boy! I am curious what people have to suggest, because I am having a similar problem with my 10 month old. She was a great sleeper until recently. I know she is experiencing some amount of separation anxiety, but I am also concerned I may be creating a future problem.

From a mom that has been there and done that over and over..my now 3yr old dtr did the same thing and I made the mistake of holding her and putting her to sleep in my arms also only to tip toe her in and put her down and same thing over and over until it became a huge problem and no one was sleeping and I was pregnant for my 3rd so I have a suggestion for you.....try a toddler bed or regular bed with side rails...change up the bedtime routine. take her into bed read her some stories till she settles and make her stay in bed. She will come out over and over just nicely take her back put her in bed and no talking to her. It may take a good week and an hour or so each night but that one week will make the rest of your life so much easier. I finally tried this advice after thinking I couldnt take it anymore and I wont lie to ya it was hard for her and me but after about a week it worked and made bedtime a wonderful time and I enjoyed getting my sleep again....its worth a try right??? I wish you luck and hope it goes well for you.....

I had a similar problem with my oldest boy when he was around 2 years old. His pediatrician told me to take the crib down, lay the mattress on the floor, and put a baby gate at the door so he couldn't get out of the room. It worked wonders! You may try it to see if it helps. Good Luck!!!!!1

Hi D.
I have a 25 months daughter who slept in her crib until she was 16 months, and then with the help of her dad came back to our bed! She doesn't like her crib any more so we plan to prepare her own room (not the baby's room) soon and move her to her own big bed. Her dad volunteered to work with her and sleep next to her (for a short time) until she gets used to it. Don't panic, when they are above 2 years old they can tell Mommy and Daddy are serious about taking them to their own room. For now, we are enjoying her sharing our king size bed and her hugs and kisses all night!

Hi D.
Have you ever felt how hard one of thoughs matress is, buy a twin bed and a tail. If you don't have the money check yard sails. Of thift shop.I have had 5 kids 22,21,20,18,15. when they were 1or2 they got a twin bed with a rail and they never slep with me.I almost for got buy a bell and put it on the door so if they get up at night you know it
Hope this helps you
G. W.

This is so funny, becuase the same exact thing happened to me and my husband. My son slept with us for about a month and then somebody told us to start using a toddler bed for him. Right before my son turned a year old we turned his crib into a toddler bed. As soon as we did this he slept without issue and through the night. We put pillows and stuff on the floor so if he rolled out (which he never did) he wouldn't hurt himself. I hope this idea helps someone else.

I have had the same problem with my son... twice. When he was about 16 months it started and only lasted a week or so I think. He worked through it and I followed his lead. I met his needs, comforted him, but didn't take him out of the crib.

We are going through it again. It started with cutting four teeth, then the holidays, then a trip out of town, then shots. It was about 6 weeks of chaos for him. We were back at square one. I am adamately against CIO. I believe that we have to give our kids a voice. There have been many nights during all that that I slept in his room on the floor while he held my hand through the crib.

Here is what I did (do) and it is working...

I nurse him before bed and put him down. When he wakes up several hours later he nurses briefly and I put him back. He always wakes up at this time now. I comfort him and tell him it is ok to go to sleep and I love him. He doesn't lay down. I say "mommy is very tired. I love you, but I am going to go lay down and I will be back when you are ready to lay down too." I leave, he cries. I only stay gone for a minute or so and then go in and tell him to lay down. He does without a fight and I rub his back for a second and then just stay there with him until he is sleeping. He is getting better each night, less crying, less fighting.

I think the important part is that i am answering his cries, I am giving him a voice. But I am setting some limits. He is 19.5 months old by the way.

D.,
My husband and I had a similar problem with our second child.
We decided to change his bed time routine a little.
While giving him his bath about 30 minutes later than the normal time we played calming music for him and then during the reading of his bed time story we would give him a stuffed bear and on the stuffed bear was the nightgown I had worn for the past couple of nights. As he would snuggle the bear and hear my voice he would drift off to sleep and because the mama bear as it became known had my scent on it he would think that I was still there with him and he would be able to stay in his crib.
Every couple of days I would replace the nightgown with a new one. This routine only took a short while before he did not need it any more. Although he still has the mama bear.
I hope this suggestion helps.
W.

Hi D.,

My little boy went through a similar stretch for awhile after we got back from vacation. Truly I don't think it's a fear of the crib. I think it's a fear of not wanting to be alone.

I noticed that when I would put him to sleep by holding him, or letting him fall asleep in my bed with me, this would always happen. I think your little boy just likes the comfort of your arms more than his crib.LOL As it should be, however, it'll probably take a few nights of letting him cry it out before he learns to get over it and sleep in his crib again.

Good luck!

Jen

i think this is a normal phase. help him feel secure during this fear and he will be a stronger and more confident child later.

i read in the book "no-cry sleep solution" to move the childs mattress into our room and put it on the floor. we did that and he got used to the mattress and began to like that, even while he was scared of the crib. he got over it and we spent a week or so "moving" him back. it worked for us. good luck!

I had the same fear with my first daughter, I worried about not being able to "break" the habit of her sleeping in my bed. I have learned through my experiences to trust what my child is communicating to me, and meet her needs while also finding balance for the family. This is of course always challenging, but maybe you could explore some options that will meet your child's needs to be with you for now, and then re-examine what works for sleeping arrangements when he is a little older. Whether screaming, crying, or using polite words, children will find a way to communicate their needs to us. We just have the monumental task of trying to meet them. I hope this helps and that you are able to find a solution that brings peace for your family.

J.

Try starting out in his room at bed time. I would put him in his crib when it's bedtime & stay in the room (read a book together, or just dim the lights & sit quitely, or try a little soft music) until he drifts off. Whatever you decide stick with it. It's diffucult to reason with such a young child so consistency is key. I developed bad bedtime habits with my daughter & they took a very long time to break. Once he feels secure & calm he should fall asleep.

He's probably not afraid of the crib, but he just doesn't want to sleep without you. I don't know how you feel about Ferberizing, but we did that with my two boys when they were 4 months and they are still GREAT sleepers and never want to sleep anywehere else but their own beds.