How to Hire – and Fire – a Nanny

Your child will likely spend a sizable amount of time with his or her nanny, and this person will undoubtedly play a pivotal role in your child’s upbringing, as well. So that pressure you’re feeling as you begin your search for the perfect companion and authority figure for your child? It’s totally natural. For expert advice to guide you through the hiring (and firing) process, we consulted Lindsay Bell, founder and president of Bell Family Company, a service that connects parents with nannies and babysitters.


Always Use Referrals
“You know the saying, ‘you are who you associate with?’ This is true in terms of childcare, too,” said Bell. “If an excellent sitter or nanny refers her friend, she is almost always as excellent as her friend.”

You can go about referrals several ways. First, through word-of-mouth referrals from friends, neighbors, or family members who have experience with the nanny. Second, you can ask the nanny for referrals from previous employers. If you opt for the latter, it’s essential that you call each referral and ask important questions. Inquire about the nanny’s timeliness, temperament, and the relationship he or she built with not just the child, but with the family in general.


Seek Nannies With Experience
Though this advice seems sort of obvious, it’s easy to be tempted into hiring someone with less experience who doesn’t charge as much. Ultimately, hiring a nanny with a breadth of experience will serve your family, and child, better in the long run, and is worth the extra money spent.

“Our childcare providers must all be experienced,” said Bell. “Whether it is babysitting, full time nanny work, a former camp counselor, or swim coach, we look for a diverse range of experience.”

Hiring a babysitter for one evening is very different from hiring a nanny that will spend a tremendous amount of time with your child, so experience is vital to a good fit and positive experience.


Beware of Red Flags
“There are ‘red flags’ for both the family and the nanny to be mindful of,” said Bell. “Big ones include a lack of accountability, bad manners, tardiness and drama.”

Bell also noted that you should seek out someone who is kind, gentle and loving, as you inherently “cannot be a good childcare provider if you are not warm and nurturing.” Do not ignore these red flags, even if that means stretching out your search or spending more money on someone who feels like a better fit for your family.


Consider Your Connection
As you narrow down your search to just one nanny, Bell says to ask yourself with whom you connect best.

“Connection is a deal breaker for us,” she said. “If we do not connect with the childcare provider, we typically are not able to place him or her. Same goes for families. We encourage families to go with the candidate they have the better connection with. That candidate is usually more coachable, accommodating, and a longer-term fit.”

Also consider the connection between your child and the nanny, as well. You want your child to feel comfortable with this person, but you also want your child to respect this person’s authority. Though the hiring decision is ultimately up to you as parents, getting your child’s input (when applicable) can get things off on the right foot.


Firing Your Nanny When it Doesn’t Work Out
“Most families that put their nannies through an extensive vetting process, or use an agency who does this for them, have less of chance of a nanny not working out because there is lengthy preliminary work done in advance to the nanny even getting an offer,” said Bell. “Most families will hear or realize any dishonesty, personality flaws or other deal breakers in the interview, trial or reference checking steps.”

Still, there are situations where letting your nanny go is a must. If the split that has nothing to do with your nanny’s abilities – such as a move across the country or decision to no longer have a nanny at all – give your nanny as many weeks’ notice as you’re able, as well as a sincere thank you with an offer to serve as a referral. Contrarily, if a nanny has not fulfilled her duties as agreed upon in the contract, then your first step is to sit down and discuss the issues.

“Our families are encouraged to draw up a contract with the role and expectations so everything is super clear upfront,” said Bell. “Anytime a nanny or a family does not stick to what was agreed upon, we refer back to the document as a reference. This keeps both parties accountable.”

If there’s no improvement despite these attempts, Bell said it’s important for the family to speak with the nanny and devise a “transition out plan.” Even though you may be parting on less than ideal terms, it’s still essential to maintain professionalism and terminate as amicably as possible. Cite the reasons you’re letting the nanny go, refer to the contract and previous attempts made to fix the issues, and give the nanny however many weeks’ notice as legally required in your state.



Wendy Rose Gould is a writer based in Phoenix, Arizona. She covers women’s lifestyle topics for numerous digital publications, including InStyle, xoVain, Refinery29, Revelist, PopSugar and ModCloth. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram or at WendyGould.com