How to Combat the Back-To-School Blues

It’s the end of summer and school is looming. Some kids will be excited to see their friends or even start a new school. Others will be glad to be amongst their peers again, especially if their summers left them a little bored. But for some children, especially those who might be a little introverted or shy, the start of the school year is fraught with uncertainty, fear and sometimes even depression. Lorraine Turner, a retired grade school teacher in Southern California with one son in high school and another in college, offers tips on how to quash those BTS blues.


1. Ask and listen. Don’t transfer your fears or feelings onto your child and don’t judge him. “If your child is feeling scared or timid, reassure him that he’s not alone. If you can come up with a memory of your own BTS fears, that can help immensely, especially if you can turn that memory into a teaching moment,” Turner says.


2. Start your school year routine a little early as a distraction mechanism. Habits are good for kids. If you get the kids back on a school time eating and sleeping schedule, you can help reduce any stress about missing an alarm or being late. Remind your kids that you have to adjust your schedule too. Knowing they’re not alone is crucial to helping them adjust.


3. Ask your child to make a list of things she’s excited about and what she’s not. Go over the list, both good and bad, and try to turn the negative items into positive ones. Is she going to a new school where she has no friends yet? “You can assure your child that a brand new school has many things his old school might not have had, especially when he’s making the change from grade school to middle school. There is new technology, new fun classes, and new people to get to know,” Turner notes.


4. Have a BTS party. Invite your child’s closest friends and have a celebration to encourage them to have fun and also express their feelings with one another. “Again, you’re letting your kids know that they’re not alone. Other kids, even ones they might never think of as fearful or sad, are probably having the same BTS blues as your child is,” adds Turner.


5. Take small steps. If your child is still down, remind him that he just needs to get through one day at a time. Share with him that you are also adjusting to his new schedule and that you’ll miss him, but at the end of the day you can visit and catch up.


If your child’s BTS blues don’t abate, don’t hesitate to reach out to counselors and therapists. If there are deeper-rooted issues at hand, the sooner they’re addressed, the better. If your child starts to act out or suffer from dropping grades, it’s more than just end-of-summer depression. “Sometimes children will open up more easily to someone other than their parents. Remember to validate their fears, not dismiss them, and work toward meaningful solutions with the child’s input,” Turner concludes.



Shelley Moench-Kelly, MBA, is a New England-based writer and editor whose freelance clients include Google, L’Oreal Paris and TheWeek.com.