Would U Think This Is a Bad Mom Move?

Sounds like a genius plan to me! It's good time management.

Most likely, he'll never even know the difference.
So--not mean--SMART!

Child gets to play while you shop.
Shopping is not fun for a lot of kids.
With the shopping and chores out of the way when you get him, you and he can have fun when you bring him home.
How would that be mean?
It isn't!

i always felt like you too, but the times I let guilt interfere and picked her up early and took her food shopping or on errands...she was miserable and so was I and it took ten times as long because of the break downs. I've learned its better to do the boring thigns without her then get the most out of my time with her. What kids wants to behave and stand in line and beside you and not be able to play after ebing in school all day?

It sounds like you are asking if you should disrupt his entire schedule and drag him around to do stuff that he hates just because you read one of those posts that asked why a mom has a kid if they are going to let someone else raise them in daycare!!!!

You can leave your son in his normal, structured activity where he is well-cared for and enriched AND DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY. Go get a mani/pedi. Go to lunch. go wine tasting. sit and pick your nose. grocery shop. vacuum. WHATEVS YA WANT. That's part of taking care of yourself.

ANYONE who takes a small child with them on a day full of errands and cleaning does so ONLY because they absolutely have no other options. Not because they are a good mom.

Have fun!

Do you think your son would rather help you clean the house and go shopping or go to daycare? Mine too. Get what you need to get done done and don't feel bad about it :)

Why does that seem mean? I do that exact kind of thing a few times a year. In my mind, it's all about perspective. You can look at it like this: "I have a few extra hours & if I don't spend every millisecond of it with my children I'm a bad mom" OR you can look at it like this: "I have a few extra hours & I'm going to spend them cleaning & shopping for the betterment of my family while saving my own sanity simultaneously. We will all be happier because I have spent this time on myself." See how that works? It's all about how you look at it.

I not only take a day off here & there for myself (like this Friday so I can bake fancy Christmas cookies & candies in peace AND next Friday so I can wrap gifts all day long) but I also take a couple of days off a year to spend entirely with my husband while the kids are at school. Sometimes we go to lunch & the movies, sometimes we stay in bed all day. Either way, there is absolutely zero guilt. We all need to re-charge once in a while.

I don't understand the question. Are you wondering if it's wrong for you to maximize your time by getting stuff done while your son is with his regular caregiver and then picking him up at the usual time and spending no less time with him than on any other day? He's already being cared for, and you're not planning on being late, so where's the guilt coming in? That's just like deciding to take a bath when you know that he's going to be asleep.

Are you kidding! Enjoy those hours you have for yourself (skip the cleaning). No need to feel guilty.

I do it. I don't like to change my kids regular schedules so unless we're going on vacation or have appts they go to school / day care every day even if I'm off for the whole day. It keeps them with their schedule and I get a day or a few hours to just relax, shop, clean, etc.

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What? You son will be a lot more happy at school then driving around running your errands..

FYI, take days off every once in a while for a day to yourself, ask your husband to join you..

A.:

Do not let guilt lead you to making a bad decision!! A bad decision would be to pick him up early and take him with you...it would throw his routine off - causing fits, etc. There is NOTHING mean about this!!!

Enjoy your time. You've earned it!! Go shopping! Clean the house! You will feel better about it....it IS OKAY!!!

I know and understand your feelings but mom's need time too...and time at work is NOT time to be YOU.

Do not do the mama-guilt thing to yourself. You are going to be able to get sooo much done in those few hours - so much more than if you were dragging a kid around. You've seen those children in the stores - they're miserable, their moms are yelling at them. I always feel bad for those kids. Your child won't know that you got out of work early. Heck, I used to take a day or two off work at this time of year, and bring my kids to day care for the whole day when they were toddlers / preschoolers. I used to get so much done! You'll be a nicer, less stressed mommy when you pick him up later! Go mama - go! Run, get that stuff done!

Do it! Those will four very productive hours that you don't have to take away from him over the weekend. I used to take one day off during the holidays and send the kids to daycare/school and use the day to bake, run errands, etc. Don't feel guilty, you're just making the most of some rare extra time.

It is NOT mean at all. Really, you are entitled to shop alone (even get a manicure alone or eat lunch alone). Have fun, don't feel guilty!!

You already pay for daycare, what you do with that time is up to you. It is very hard to shop for Christmas presents and/or clean with children of any age. No, you should not feel guilty about doing this.

I get out on every Friday at 12 (work 10 hours M-Th). At first I picked up my daughter either on my way home or would go change, eat, and then get her.

But, that time is so good for getting things done - shopping, errands, doctors appts, etc.

It also interferes with her normal nap schedule, which throws her off for the rest of the day. So, for both our sakes, I usually wait to get her until 3:30 at the earliest if I don't have anything else I'm doing.

Sounds like a SMART mom move to me!

Do not feel guilty!!!!! Get your shopping done in peace, then treat him to a fun dinner or ice cream with mommy! He won't know the difference.

Merry Christmas!

I think you deserve to do it.

Taking an appropriate amount of time for yourself is not a bad move. He won't be there longer, and you'll get stuff done. Do it. Hopefully you have picked a good daycare and he is happy there and has friends. He won't care that you were home cleaning while he played.

Go for it! Take that time to do the things you need to do without having a kid in tow. It will get done a lot quicker and then you can enjoy your child without have to drag him/her around. Besides you can put the presents up before you pick up the kid.

It's not mean it's survival. You got to do what you got to do for yourself. I have done this several times. In fact I would drop my kid off at the child center and grocery shop (in 25 minutes) pick up the kid and come home to put the groceries away.

As you get older and wiser you will find ways to have "me" time without having to feel guilty. Never feel guilty about taking time for yourself. If you don't charge your batteries no one else will.

Have a good holiday season.

The other S.

PS Learn to say "NO" and mean it. It will get rid of a lot of pressure to "please" everybody when you don't want to.

This doesn't sound even remotely mean to me! It sounds like it makes sense and you are waaaay over thinking this one. There are enough things to guilt ourselves over, but taking advantage of a half day to knock out shopping and cleaning while your kid is at daycare is not one of them. :)

It isn't mean to do that. Take the time to do your shopping and getting things done. Your son will be sticking to the routine he is use to and have a good time while doing it. Unless your day care provider would have a problem, and I doubt they would, then there is no reason to feel guilty over it.

Shop til you drop! Sounds fun to me!! It is a good mama thing to do, not bad at all :-)

I do it ALL the time. Not mean at all.

It would only be mean if he hates daycare. Very few kids hate daycare. Why not both of you have a fun afternoon. :)

I'm actually doing this same thing next friday. I have the day off work but my boys will be going to school (private childcare), and I'm going to get my car looked at, then doing a little shopping, and then meeting them at school for their parties. Sometimes we just need a few hours too.

My guess is that you are not going to go Christmas shopping for yourself and only yourself, right? You will probably buy for everyone but you!

I am actually doing the same thing this Friday. My son it too old to not notice what I am doing so I have to go alone. That said, I completely understand your working-mama guilt. It is something we have to live with.

Enjoy your shopping and stay sane!

Do it! Best Afternoon of your life - seriously!!! He will never know the difference. Do not feel guilty, either!

It would be something I would do - especially this time of year. It is hard to get out on your own. No guilt feelings needed - but I can tell you I would be feeling the same as you....just naturally who I am.

I would think that the daycare folks would like to be done early is all the
Moms are getting out early. I have a feeling most people will be done early.
I say give the poor daycare folks a break!

Guess I am the only one for the daycare folks. They work too. When do
they get their time to do errands?

I would do the shopping and cleaning if I was getting out early. Just think of it as getting all the boring stuff out of the way and that will give you more time to spend with your son. That's what I do. I take about an hour each day to get shopping or cleaning out of the way before picking the boys up and that way I'm not always telling them to wait until I'm done cleaning.

Are you kidding? That's an *efficient mom* move. You'll get so much more done without your little one. I'm assuming you'd eventually need to drag your little guy around with you to shop (not as fun as hanging out with his friends at daycare) and/or find something for him to do while you clean, right? Forget it. Go do what you need to do and pat yourself on the back for spending the "bonus" time well.

I used to do that all the time... go shopping, take rest etc while my son is at daycare. I didn't feel bad initially , I felt I needed my break as well. But after a while I am regretting doing that, so now I don't do it anymore. I still think once in a while is ok as in your case. And you are getting things done around the house , which is easier to do without having a baby crying for your attention. So do it! Feeling a little guilty is good because then the baby gets pampered when they get home and they love it :)

I did that when my daughter was in daycare. It is not possible to shop with a young child. And SO enjoyable to shop alone!

Nothing wrong with doing that every now and then. Moms need "ME" time as well. Have fun.

go take some you time. :) i used to do that when i got off work early....think of it this way you pay for the time whether or not he is there......so you are using what you pay for.

I think this is a GREAT thing! We working moms have to carve out a little bit of "Me" time and I definitely think you should DO it. Yeah, we have that "Mommy guilt", but your time alone will make you a better, more patient mom when you DO spend time with your son. GO FOR IT!

It's not mean - enjoy yourself for a couple of hours. If I were you, I would save the cleaning and go have a manicure or just shop a bit longer. This is a treat for you. I'm sure they don't come along very often, so take full advantage. You'll be a happier mom if you do and that is a total benefit to your little one!

When I was doing daycare and the parents had a day off of work I would always tell them spend some extra time with their child in the morning and bring them to me for lunch and nap. Since you are working until 12 it will already be close to his naptime. Don't sweat it, go get some shopping and cleaning done while he naps and then you will have more time to spend with him on the weekend.

A.,

I wouldn't do this on a regular basis, but you are doing your son a service to let him stay at daycare and play vs taking him out to go shopping etc. which isn't too fun as a toddler! So, go for it! Do your shopping and cleaning and go get your son asap after that.

m

OMG - really??? LOL Of course it isn't a bad mom move!!!! It will allow you to get some stuff done without keeping an eye on your kid and make you a more sane human being and therefore a better mom. I do this fairly regularly and highly recommend it!

How is it mean? He would be there until 4pm anyway. It's not like you're showing up at 8pm at night. Have fun shopping!

K. b
mom to 5 including triplets

This is the first year I have NOT been able to do it (no time off left after maternity leave).. it is great. Less crowds at stores. We are sending my daughter to day care over christmas break a few days (I am working, hubby is not) so that he can get some work done in the house without a baby around. She keeps her schedule... we all win.
Try not to feel guilty!

As a daycare provider, my only suggestion is that I would not tell my daycare provider. Most days my first child arrives at 6 am and my last child leaves at 6 pm. I love what I do and I do it so I can have time with my children when they are young. I will give you one example of a day I resented a mom for leaving her child. She came bouncing in about 2 minutes before I close (almost 1.5 hours later than she normally picks up). Telling me what a great day she had had shopping, meeting her friends for lunch and getting a pedicure. Now as a mom I totally get needing a day off. But I had been rocking her VERY fussy baby, who wanted to nurse for over an hour. To say the least it changed my view of her priorities a little.

If you are going to get a few things done, I suggest not mentioning it to your provider and just do what you need to do. That way she/he won't know any different. I am sure they have lots of fun stuff planned like we do. Although our car will be packed and we will be waiting for that last child to come so we can head out to visit family.

S

I don't think nothing is wrong with it you pay them to care for your children whether it's a day off for you or whatever. sometimes you need time to do things you need to do and that is the purpose of a baby sitter. as long as i pick my child up on time it is your job to watch my child if i decide to pick the child up early will you reduce the price? if not than you might as well do what you need to do.

I love the days when I have nothing planned but I know my daughter has daycare it's not neglect it's just sometimes during the week you work and you need time to do things for mom. I pay 840 a month in daycare you better believe my daughter will be there unless she is sick.

One afternoon certainly won't scar him for life! :) lol.

Updated

One afternoon certainly won't scar him for life! :) lol.

not at all! enjoy your short day!

Nope - not a bad mom move. You only have so many hours in the day, and if you can get your Xmas shopping and cleaning done quicker without him with you, then it's a good use of time so that you can spend quality time with him later on.

not mean at all. It gives you the time to get things done before you go get him that way when you pick him up all the work is done and you can spend more quality time with him.

No, you are taking the time to do errands that need to be done (not to mention cleaning)....it's not like you are leaving him in daycare so you can go out and party or treat yourself to a spa half day.... :)

Sounds okay to me. I am a SAHM, and there are days especially around the holidays when I wish I had somwhere else for them to be, for a few hours :)

A., you better go shopping and enjoy just a little time to yourself. That's an order!!

Please take this little bit of extra time and get your business done...I am sure you deserve it!

I think it's a great plan. Don't feel guilty for leaving him in daycare while you get some work done.

NO!......lol no way!..the day care can be for other things too. Its something you need to do and most moms wouldnt even think twice.

How is it mean? Go get your errands done. Either way you have to pay for the daycare time right? Why waste that money. Pick your son up at the normal time and take those four hours for yourself. That's a SMART mom move.

Chances are, you are paying for the full day of day care... Take those few hours and get done what you can! If you have time left before picking your son up, treat yourself in some way.

Do what you have to do! You pay for daycare, you might as well use it! It's none of their business what you do with your day. You are paying them to take care of your child whether they are there all day or not.

I totally understand. I have done it occasionally, and felt totally guilty. Working full time, I love any extra time I can have with my kids. But it is the only way to carve some time to get things done, and then you'll be more relaxed when you do have the time with them later.

Not mean at all. Go for it. It's not a change in your son's day, and it's a bit of a gift for you. Some YOU time - take it!!!

I did it last year. I felt so guilty, but it really is the best move. You get your stiff done and your son is probably having a great time with his little friends.

Hi A.,

You already have 45 responses, but I'll add my opinion, anyway.

GO SHOPPING! It's a "good mom move" to let him play at daycare while you get your errands done. Win-win move for both of you! (Not mean at all to take care of things that need to get done.)

I am answering from a daycare provider prospective. If this is a low day at the daycare (not many kids are going to be there, or kids are leaving early) then your kid will know that you have left them there in someone else's care, while you go shopping. There won't be many of their friends there, and they'll be one of maybe 15 kids in daycare, while you go shopping. I've had kids cry and asking me why their parents aren't there yet. Often times we have combined all the kids of different ages into one or two rooms for the whole day, because their are so few kids. The kids that are there, are never very happy, they see that most of their friends aren't there, and wonder why they are.
If however this is a regular day at your daycare (kids not leaving early because it's the holidays), there is nothing wrong with leaving your child there while you go run errands, and picking up at regular time, or even a little past. If you are going to be picking up late, it's nice to give the caregivers a heads up, though.

it is not mean at all! def great time management and you do not want a child with you while you run errands. Plus think of daycare as school. They are having fun there and enjoying their time there with other kids.

i think as long as hes in day care and not being watched as a favor from a friend go shopping, your paying to use the daycare facility its not like your taking a vacation your shopping and cleaning, something most kids dont enjoy lol becides just think how happy he will be when you pick him up and then have all this mommy time for him because you did all the yucky stuff without him.