Would like Input About "Mom" Issues

Well, I too look a lot younger than I am! I laugh because Wal Mart has a new policy that states if you do not look older than 40! you are to be carded for tobacco and alchol!! I guess you and I (and a lot of others) are going to the grave being carded at the supermarket!!

E.- Don't even begin to worry about it!!! Being one who has always looked younger, I completely understand! I recently was carded while trying to buy my husband a drink at the Cards game while I'm 8 months pregnant with my 3 1/2 year old next to me. I just smiled and told the woman that she just made a very pregnant 31 year old's day! When we are 50 we will look 40 and they will still be envious!

I am so jealous of you! I would LOVE to be a sahm and have a large family. I never say that to people I see out, but I do think it. Maybe there are more of us than those who (for whatever strange reason) look down on you. Next time someone does that, remember there's at least one person out there wishing they could be you. :)

This response is from the "other woman" point of view. It's funny that I read this today because I was doing this yesterday at the gas station. A family pulled up in an SUV at the next pump. They were obviously on some sort of road trip and while the man got gas the woman was unloading the kids to take them in to the restroom. I was just watching because I wondered how many were going to climb out of the vehicle. She took a baby out of the carseat and there were 3 older boys and a girl...I think. So there were a few reasons I was watching. 1) I was envious of the mom looking so good after having so many children (it's an assumption of course that she went through pregnancies with each of them). 2) The kids were so cute and I love kids. 3) How many kids can you fit in an SUV? And 4) I've been on many roadtrips with two little ones, I can't even imagine doing it with five. I guess what I'm getting at is that I felt admiration and respect for the parents...nothing negative.

I understand! I always got the same looks after I became a mother. I was also the oldest and my youngest brother (11 years younger) is handicapped, when he was a baby he called both Mom and me Mama. When we would go out in public people would look at me and ask how I managed to have a baby so young. At the mall once a lady started preaching to me about how sinful I was by having this baby out of wedlock and what a terrible person I was. She went on to say that I must have horrible parents that allowed me to become pregnant at such a young age. She told me that my entire family would rot in hell for all the sins we committed. I sat there with tears streaming down my face and could not get a word in edge wise. My mother came out of the store in a fury with my cousin on her heels. My mother starts to yell at this woman to leave her son and daughter alone. The woman turns to my mother and said yours? He calls her Mama, My mother went on to tell this woman that it was none of her business but she would inform her anyway, My son is handicapped and he can only say 3 words, Mama, Dada and juice. If you are female your Mama, if your male your Dada and if he needs anything else from food to pain its juice. The woman just stood there trying to apologize. My mother told her that she would forgive her because it was the christian thing to do but that she should never judge a book by its cover, you never know whats inside until you look. I agree that people should be able to count on each other. I have also learned that some people are true about what they say and do and others are not. They say one thing and turn around and do the other. The one I hate the most is to show compassion and then as soon as the person is gone to go and tell all to anyone who will listen. I think everyone young and old should take empathy classes. I know words won't break bones but they sure can break a heart.

If you ever catch me out there looking at you and your kids, know it is with awe and honor and tons of respect!
I have one little girl, and the idea of a big family is just awesome to me, but due to my age, ours will likely stay as a 1 or 2 kid family. I give you so much credit! Keep your chin up and be proud of your family! When people give you any "dirty looks" just smile at them. Chances are, they are not happy with whatever situation they are in!

Congratulations for being a Mama to 4!! I once had a woman tell me, "I'd cut him off at the pockets," when she found out I was pregnant with my fifth. Motherhood is a precious gift and God has a plan for each and every child you have. Hold your head high and know that there are MANY, MANY families with more than 2.5 children. I personally know several, including my own 8 children. Bless you!!

Hi!
I wanted to tell you that before I had my son I was (sadly) one of those women. You know, "How could she overpopulate like that?" or, "Why can't she control her children in public?" or, "How could she take her kids out to eat this late?". Well, I'm not anymore! I now know so much more about the hearts, minds, and realistic abilities of parents, and I often laugh (at my old self) when I get those looks from other people. They probably have no idea what it's like to have that much love. I certainly could never have imagined it. Just say a prayer that they will someday and let it roll off!

It is unfortunate that some in our society don't value larger-than-two-or-three-kids families. I love it when I see oodles of kids with a mom - especially a happy mom with happy kids. They are a joy.

There's a little bit of a stigma around having large families because it must mean the kids don't get adequate care or the mom's don't get any free time, or the couple was careless. You are right. We shouldn't be so quick to assume things about people. Even if any of the above are true, there's always a much more detailed story behind it all.

Good news is, more and more of us are staying home and realizing what a blessing lots of kids are. And while there will still always be lots of working-outside-the-home moms and others who choose (or have) to stop after 1 or 2 kids, I think larger families are becoming more common again. Hang in there!

It is probably due to the fact that they are jealous of you looking so good after having four kids.

I'm looking at you -

and feeling a little jealous. Lots of kids "how fun".

Mine's almost the same reaction. I'm 47 w/9 yr old daughter. Really want some looks--throw in the grandkids too! Some people say I'm just mean spirited, but the ones that give me the "look" I always try to start a conversation with them or compliment them on their family. They either turn and run or start a friendly chat. Seems like once they see you are "normal" they are OK. Try it. Have a safe, friendly 4th!!!

Hi E.,

Just hold your head high and be a proud mama! Women are weird sometimes. You'd think we would all stick together but we can be quite judgemental at times. I've been in situations where
I've been stared at and in my head I'm thinking, "man what a b***h!", so I look at them and give a big smile! Usually they will be embarassed they got caught giving you such crappy looks. Don't worry about it and just make sure you are the best mother you can be

Grow a thick skin. I have 9 kids, and the responses I get from the general public are appalling.

I get questioned regarding the paternity of my children. I get quizzed on my knowledge of the human reproductive system. I get questions regarding our income. They make one of two assumptions, A)we must be rich, or B)that we must be on the government dole. I've really come to the conclusion that a much larger portion of the general public, than I had previously thought, are rude morons. I do catch them staring, mouth resting on the table, mentally counting the kids, I'm sure sizing them up, and I'm sure assuming that my 7 month old is the child of my 19 yr old. You really have to just let it roll off of you, have some witty comments for the really stupid questions/remarks (I love how they all act as if their "don't you know what causes that" is soooo original).

I totally appreciate this....I am 36 years old and look younger than I am. Just to give you an idea, just last month my son(10 yrs) wanted to buy pellets for his soft air pellets gun. He gave me his money to pay for them and the lady at WalMart ask if I was 16 years old to buy them...I turned red from embarassment, My son started to sing the song "I am sixteen going on seventeen" from the Sound Of Music. It was pretty funny. Whether I go out for drinks with my husband or friends I always bring my ID. Most people say that I will appreciate "it" when I am older and now that I am I do although it is embarassing at times. Just keep your chin up and don't let it bring you down.
I am also a SAHM of 3 boys:10,8,3.

just to let you know if i saw you out and about i would give you a big thumbs and a knowing smile. i am 30 years old have three kiddos and started young, know the feeling of get looked at like that. but i also know with staying at home and having kids whatever age, yes us moms should stick together and more power to you to go out and about with them. i know what you feel like by the end of the day. if you get anymore looks like that just say something like "if you dont want one the dont stare" i always affer my kids up when they misbehave. but if they'er behaving and you get a stare the say something like "what, do i have a burger in my nose" ha ha. dont worry about those stares you are doing a great job. happy fourth

Oh God! Do I see this still and I am going to be 39. I personally would continue to let it roll off like you do. Yes, you would think that women should stick together but I have yet to find many that will give me a break. The big thing I get is Oh my god you must have been a kid when you had her (My 18 year old) I was 20 so, no, not really. Now people think we are best friends, when she calls me mom, you should see the jaws drop. It is honestly all women. I actually love it. People like to assume and they will assume what they want. You just enjoy the looks because when you are 40 and you look 25 I'm thinking they will look older than they really are:)

I agree, it should be this way. Unfortunately, for lots of complicated reasons, it simply is not. You will find pockets of women friends who are supportive and non-judgemental though. You just have to know where to look, and how to recognize them. I didn't start to find these type of friends until I truly felt mature enough to deserve them. But that is just my story, and not necessarily yours. Strangers should be of no concern. Walk tall.

Hi E.,
I know exactly how you feel! I am 32, and my kids are 6,5 & 2. My mom looks very young for her age, and it looks like I got her genes in that department. I'm happy that I look young, (people often think I'm one of my high school vball players instead of the coach!), but at the same time, I always feel like people are looking at me funny when I'm in public with my kids. Last fall I was with my youngest, getting his hair cut, and an older lady asked if I was babysitting him. I politely told her that he was mine, but I didn't tell her that I had two older ones! It wasn't too long after that that I got my hair cut shorter, and quit wearing pony tails in public! I always make sure to have my wedding ring on when I go places too. I'm not judging young mothers, but I could do without the looks too. Hang in there-when we get older, people will think that our grandkids are our kids!

I know what you mean. I had my son at 16, and now that he is 17 and stands at 6'4", and I look like I am about 28, we get questions asked all the time. I also have a 5 month old daughter and when we went out to eat, people thought we were a couple and she was our daughter. It really embarrasses him. It gets really old.

I am 27 and have one of my own and one on the way, but usually have 3-4 kids with me because we have my boyfirends nieces on the weekends. I know exactly how you feel. I get the same looks (seems like everytime we go out). I really don't have any advice for that all I can say is that I am proud of you becuase it is very hard these days to raise kids. Anyone women that takes on the resposibility of multiple (more than 3) children is a "super woman" in my book. Keep your head up.

P.S. The only opinion you should be worried about is the opinion of our Father above!

I would not let it bother you. I have noticed women are very jealous of other women. Women also like to make other women inferior to them.
I guess they feel better about themselves by degrating other women.
Just boost your self convidence and keep letting it roll off your back.

Hi! I am 32 years old with a 13 & 8 year old. Up until about 2 years ago I barely looked 24 (I'm starting to show my age & it catches up REAL FAST) My 8 year old has best friends that are twins & they are a year older than him, but all three are the same size & then my oldest son has a half brother 2 years older than him. My point is I would take all of them with me in public. People were dumb enough to assume they were all mine & would make comments or gestures. It was easier for me because not all of the kids were mine (they could've been)so I got the laugh at the fact their ignorance went further than their comments. Just hang in there & show them how much fun it is being a young mom that can do all the physical things with her kids that sometimes older parents can't. And yes we moms should stick together no matter our income, age, family size, or any other discriminations because being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing we ever get to do in life! PS If you look too nice when you're out with your kids their probably just jealous ;)

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am 29 and I get told a lot that I barely look 21, I have 2 little ones, a girl that is 2-1/2 and a boy that is 11 months. I feel those stares also. Have you also noticed that a lot of women will look at your ring finger as well to see if you are married? It is very frustrating, and like you, I do try to just let it roll off my back, but sometimes it is very hard to do. I keep looking at it this way, when these women are much older, we will still look younger and we can thank our lucky stars for that, we still have much more to look forward to. It helps me anyway to think of it this way. I even had my daycare owner ask me my age the other day, she told me that she was guessing me to be about 23, but that she was really pushing the upper limits guessing that age. Sometimes it does feel good to have people think that you are younger than you really are.

Dear E.,
I always had the same problem. Don't worry about it. I used to get the same thing when my kids were young. What was really fun was when I was pregnant with my fourth and babysitting my niece. You should have seen the looks then! Don't let it bother you. These days will soon be gone. Then, you'll be like me. You'll look your age and wish you didn't!
rlancast

I know exactly how you feel.... I'm 23 with a 1 year old daughter but I look a lot younger than I am. I hate being asked if she's my little sister since we look very much alike. To make it worse, my husband is about 10 years older than me and though he looks a little younger than his actual age, there still is a clear age difference. People.... mostly women! still stare a little. There's really no answer unfortunately, people-especially women-are judgemental! And in the day-in-age where 12 year olds have babies, you just never know. But that's just it: YOU JUST NEVER KNOW!! I've noticed that the way I dress and actually wearing makeup helps but I don't let it get to me... I just remind myself that it may be a negative thing every so often, I'll always look younger....so when I fianlly say "I'm 40" people will be pleasantly surprised! Maybe when they're staring, just look back at them and say hi and just look in their eyes-they'll get the hint!

Hi E.-
Well I get the reverse problem - I'm 43 with a toddler, and I get asked if he's my grandson! People can be really rude, and I like to think they don't mean it but are just curious. Just let it roll off you - think they are just jealous of you looking so good with 4 kids!

Everyone has covered just about everything. Mostly you are getting the end result of jealously. When someone makes a decision, whether it be when to have kids, how many, or any other criteria, you then justify your decision. One of the ways is looking down on those who made a different desision. This happens more when they are questioning their original desision. Also as people have pointed out some may be jealous that you can handle four kids and they think they can't. I have to say I don't handle it well when people treat me like you have described, though I have yet to make a scene.

I am 40 and just last week I was out with my 20yr old son and his friend. This horrible woman kept giving me this you should be ashamed of yourself dating a boy that young look. My feelings went between going over to her table and punching her in the face or just introducing her to my son. Instead I just talked to my son and pointed out how unhappy she looked. Ironically my boyfriend is 7 years older than me, I look young for my age and he looks older. I get the you are dating that old man for his money looks. The worst are the people that will actually come up to me while I am eating (since I tend to eat more than most men) and tell me it will catch up with me when I have kids. If someone is that awful I usually say, how many? I have four, and you have???

People are funny and at times vile. Just remember they wouldn't act that way if they were happy with their lives and you are happy so don't let them bring you down to their level.

I"ve only read a few of the responses, but I understand. I'm 26, with a 4 year old and and 18 mo old. When I had my first I was 22 but looked about 15. Now I do look a bit older (I have aged alot in the past couple of years), I still dress young, and sometimes I feel like I"m looked down for not working too. It used to bother me, but now, I think that mostly it's jealousy. Just keep that in mind, how lucky you are to have your 4 beautiful kids. They're just thinking "I'm amazed that she's so put together with these kids when I can't hardly manage my 2!"

K.

Give their nosy butts a BIG SMILE, look down at your babies, look up and say something like isn't God wonderful to have blessed me with these beautiful children, or look how lucky I am, anything positive will throw them off their game. Some women are just evil, ignore it.

E., I am a Mom of only 2, but I do daycare. If my daycare numbers are low enough I will take the kids to the park or the play area at the mall. I have gotten a few looks and even had people ask me "are they all yours". I agree with you, women should not be so judgemental of others. If you lose control someday and stick your tonuge out at someone, oh well!!!!!!

Chin Up. M.

Hi E.!

Well, I am 28 and only have one child, so I can't relate exactly to what you're saying, but I did deal with other judgement and rudeness that bothered me, too....when I was pregnant my hands swelled really badly and my wedding ring no longer fit, so I took it off. After that I started noticing people, WOMEN MOSTLY, who would check out my big pregnant tummy and then their eyes would glide over to check out my naked left hand ring finger and immediately I would get disapproving, pursed lipped, smug 'judgement looks', and you know what I mean by that! I couldn't believe it; how easily people pass judgement on others when they don't even know a thing about it. It made me so uncomfortable that I went out and bought a "decoy" ring to wear in lieu of my wedding rings. After I had Lily and really thought about it I was kind of mad at myself for buying into their B.S. and feeling like I had to prove I was married...I should have put them on thier judgy little, ahem, behinds by saying something about it to thier smug little faces....sigh. I guess I'm just trying to comfort you with the fact that I suppose we all get judged by others at some point, it's not just you...so try not to let it get to ya too bad. ; )

I'm a 31 y/o mom with four kids. My kids are ages 6, 4, 3 and 11 months. I get stares all the time and like you said they are not always nice ones. I get some that are like "what are you thinking having that many kids" and some that are like "oh, you poor thing" and some that are like "why are you bringing all those kids out in public with you." I am a busy mom and I don't let having four children in tow stop me from doing my grocery shopping, but some people just don't seem to think this is right. Just the other day at McDonald's where I took the kids for lunch to celebrate my 3 y/o birthday, I had a man say to me "I hope you are babysitting," I responded "no they are all mine." Then, of course, I got the inevitable "Boy, you really have your hands full." I rarely go out somewhere with the kids without getting that comment made to me at least once if not more. I don't know if it has to do with age or if it is just having several young children close in age, but whatever it is, it is annoying. My husband says that people need to learn to keep their noses out of other people's business and he swears that one of these days he is going to get annoyed enough to say that to someone. I just laugh and say that I think people react that way because they wouldn't be able to handle it themselves. But it doesn't mean that I can't. Enjoy your kids and forget everyone else. That's what I have come to do.

I completely feel your pain, I am 34 and the mom of four also. I do look young for my age as well but I have always had the "oh you are just cute" stigma to go along with that. People look at me when I take my four out as well I have never had anyone approach me but they always look at you differently. I have this to say to you BE PROUD AND STAND TALL! You are a strong, wonderful woman and mom and I truly believe that the women who have a problem with us overpopulating the country or having babies at a young (or older) age have just never truly felt that pull of being a mom. I'm sure that plenty will disagree with me, but how can anyone judge someone without walking a mile in their shoes. We are supporting our children emotionally and financially and frankly they should be giving you a pat on the back and a thumbs up. Don't worry about what other grownups think, worry about how your kids are feeling when they look at you. Do they think that you are a good mom? Do they believe that you are doing a good job (well not always I'm sure-lol)? Have faith in who you are walk tall with your chin up and completely ignore the negative thoughts and looks.

Jen

i get the same thing! i know how you feel. i'm 24 and have 4 daughters. and i look like i'm about 17 ha ha i used to get really deffensive when i'd see it happening when i was a little younger, but now i know just to ignore people who could be that rude. i got married when i was 16, had my oldest when i was 17 then 18 then 19 then 24. i've gotten every look and comment you can think of. all i can say is ignore the people that dont matter in your life. you're happy with your family, and that's all that matters

I know you have tons of responses but I thought I would add one more. My best friend is 30 and has 8 kids! She definetly gets some stares when in public with all of them. She is also being a surrogate for another family right now and is pregnant with twins. The other day a lady at the store made a comment about her being pregnant again and without missing a beat she looked at the lady and said "don't worry these I am carrying aren't my husbands", the look on the ladies face was priceless.
I know how you feel I got pregnant with my first at 19 so now I am 30 and my daughter is as tall as I am and looks much older than her age so sometimes I have to deal with the stares, I just always think how since I started my family so young my husband and I will have many years together to enjoy just us and our future grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren.

I am like most of the moms who have responded, if it were me looking at you it would be in admiration. I have two and I love them to pieces. I do know what you are talking about though I notice unfriendly looks and stares when I was out with a friend who had 4 kids. Some people are just plain rude! However, I wouldn't let it get you down, just do like the one woman and ask them if they have a question or just smile really sweetly at them. If you're feeling really aggrivated I would even start telling my kids (loud enough for the person staring to hear) "It's not polite to stare at other people, is it?" ;) Good luck & God bless!

I'm 25 with a 2 and a half year old and I'm pregnant with my next, due in November. I have my own business for which I have a booth at the local weekly Farmer's Market. I look very young and since my wedding ring doesn't fit right now, a couple of weeks ago I had a woman try to "save" me because I was clearly making poor decisions being an unwed teenage mother with another on the way. So I completely feel your pain. I've just had to learn to let it go. I commonly have people ask me how old I am and give me looks like I've clearly made a lot of mistakes. I proudly explain to them that I was married for almost a year before we chose to have our first and found out about the pregnancy the day after I graduated from college. I'm still married to the same man and we intended to have this baby as well. If you are happy with your life, then that's all that really matters. Sometimes I think its fun to see the shocked looks on people's faces when I tell them that I'm extremely happy with my life and the choices I've made, including staying home with my daughter.

Hi E., I thought I would tell you a funny story. I am the oldest of 5 children(I'm 39) and had my first child young and unmarried (much to my parents dismay, I was 19-20 and my son will now be 20 in August) My youngest sister is 6 years younger than me and when she was 16 and I was 21, my parents had child #5, mom was 41 and dad was around 46. They were so embarrassed, especially when they ran into someone whom they knew slightly and they would ask if my brother was their grandson and did I have another kid ( my brother looks like me). Now my brother is 18 and when he's out in public he does look like the grandkid because my parents are in their 60's but I think they look kind of cute and it's kind of neat because I get advice from my mom about my kids and having one that is close to hers' is a plus, can you imagine our coversations? It's great that you look young, I have looked way to young for years and it's now catching up to me unfortunately so just enjoy the best you can and let those other old looking people just be old. ;)

I am 28 and also look young. When I was 20, I got asked by the Wal-Mart lady how old you have to be to have a checking account. I said I didn't know, but I had a job. Looking shocked she asked me how old you have to be to work. I told her that I didn't know b/c I was 20 and had worked for several years. She was guessing that I was around 13. Nice. Anyway, for 5 years I taught high school. One time a parent sat down for parent teacher conferences. I asked if I could help her b/c she was looking all around (we are all in one room at tables with our names). She said she was just waiting on the teacher. I said, "That's me." Again, that shocked look. Add to that when I got pregnant. I drove to high school everyday (worked there), was very pregnant and had braces. That was an entertaining period in my life. If you want empathy on the young looking - you got it :) :) Just think, some day we will be looking young and it will be great! :) :)

*Smiling* Good Morning E.! I am almost 57 ( i don't look it either ;) I hope) and I take care of our 2 youngest Gr son's daily ages 3y/o and 8 m/o. I get looks also, like what are you thinking having Kids at your age! Until our 3 y/o says Nana I Want that or something. :)

I am ornery enough that when people stare, I might ask if they have a question! Or just smile and walk on.

I have a very good friend who has at this time 9 children, she wants one more to make it 5 g's & 5 B's. she gets looks all the time like Don't you know how to STOP this!! Her eldest is 17, last little boy was born last Jan. She works for our county as the Lactation Nurse and homeschools her kids. She wouldn't have it any other way.

So my advice E. is walk a little taller, look a little prouder when the LOOKS come at you. Smile and enjoy the heck out of your kids.

God's Blessings are in your care, so enjoy them. Keep looking younger to, make um wonder all they want. lol
K.

E.,
I'm sorry I am late with this. But all I can say is to heck with them. They don't understand and some people never will. There is no more special work on this earth than a mother can do but to bring into this world special people and then raise them up with all the love and care we can!

Suzi

I think every Mom has issues of her own. All are different but stem from some lack of self confidence. If you are happy as a mother of four that's all that matters. No one can judge you because of the number of children you have or whether or not you work at home or in a job outside of the home.

Maybe they are just looking at you and thinking, "Wow, what a lucky person she is, she looks great even after having four children." I know that's what I would think! Sometimes we do too much comparing of ourselves to others. Your life is what you chose and so long as you're happy with it, that's all that really matters!

I have no advice for you but I am also a young mother (23) and I look about 18 on a good day. My daughter will be 2 next month so yes, I did have her at 21 but thats not terrible, I did beat teen pregnancy!!! I have a 2 college degrees and a good job and I have confidence that Im a good mom. What the heck is wrong with these other women!?!? What business is it of theirs anyway? And how dare them be so judgemental!!! I feel your frustration. Have confidence in yourself, youre the only one who knows your story and everyone's is different. Hold your head up and prove all of them wrong!

--S.

I have four kids too and it's probably just amazement and nothing else. Of all things in the world to worry about, this isn't one of them. Everytime someone looks you up and down, feel proud of yourself knowing you have four children and look great! If someone is being judgemental, so what, that's their problem.

I always looked young for my age too, which bothered me when I actually was young. I'm 48 now and twice recently, when I've been out someplace with my 18-year-old son, someone was shocked to find out I was his mom - they thought I was his girlfriend!! What a compliment!! (He was mortified!)

You're a wonderwoman in your own right if you're chasing after 4. Take it as a compliment that you astonish others with not only your youth but also the obvious energy you put in your day to day. No matter other's opinions, the important thing is how much you love those babies. Be a confident mama and know that not everyone can do what you do.

I'm 28 and a sahm of 2 kiddos I get the same looks when we go out everyone tells me how cute my kids are say's Hi to them etc.When my son was 3 and I was pregnant I remember getting looks and a few times when out with my son and grocieres in one hand and him in another the response is (OH you have your hands full)Well DUH I have sacks my pusre keys and my son and a bump in the way. However when I tell people in conversation that i'm a sahm (been home since I was 6 weeks pregant with my first child) I feel as if they are judging me like why can't you work.I don't want to bust my rear to turn around and pay someone to watch my kids in which I can do and give them the life I didn't have.I know exactly what you are talking about.By the way my sis is younger than me and she looks like a late skinny teen and she has been married 4 yrs with 3 kids and 2 preganacies the 2nd time is with twins and nobody can belive she had them.She gets the look and it is annoying her too she just looks at them and smiles and is proud to have them!!!You don't have to explain yourself to nobody we all have small and big families some families are their pets.If you'd like to respond and chat feel free to do so.

I feel the same way at times. I will be 27 in a few weeks and have a 9, 5 and 3 year old. Some people tell me that I look too young to have kids that old. I said anything is possible and I just got a head start. I think young mom's are more common these days and it seems like if you are young and have an arm full of kids you automatically get the preception that you are not worthy, not married and not employed. If I could wear a stamp on my forehead stating I am happy, have been married for 6 years to the father of all my kids and have been at the same place of employment for 8 years, I would. But, I don't let it get to me too much. It's usually the older generation that I preceive the notions from. Things were different when they were our age and that's just what they know. So, yes, I think most of us young mom's can account for feelings like you are having. We just have to be confident in ourselves knowing that we are GREAT Mom's and we have it under control.

Can I get an "A-MEN"! Though I'm 39 (and like to think I look a bit younger!) I find that when I travel out with 4 kiddos (BTW: also three boys and a one year old daughter) people look at me as if I need help managing. I know that there are a mixture of reasons for the looks and unsolicited help, and I am sure that we are a little over sensitive to it sometimes. I know I used to look at people with even three kids and think, "OH my LORD! How does she DO that?". Well, now I know! I am sure that my face didn't hide my thoughts as well as I'd like to think. I'm more conscious of it now.
Maybe it's an internal overreaction due to the constant FEAR I have that my kids will pick the most crowded, unescapable place to pull out the party hats and go for it. I don't know why we (you and I, sister!) even CARE what other people think, but I'm going to credit it to our wonderful abilities to mother this brood we have and say that it shows we are consciencous about our skills, proving that they are phenomenal, capable mothers. Yep; I'm sticking with that. And YAY that we look young. Let 'em wonder. It gives bored people something to do, right?

Since we've opened up to venting, let me ask you this: Do you get tired of people saying, "How wonderful! You finally got your girl!". I was very happy with my boys, thank you very much. And even though I know it's really just conversation; an innocent comment to an observation (she's hard to miss; decked out in all-things-flambouyant thanks to three doting brothers!), I have to wonder if my boys ever consider whether they are the result of trying to add a baby girl to the family. I don't seriously think that they feel that, but it gives me something to be snarky about. :)

Even though my oldest is nine, I'm still getting used to the cultural norm that says the rearing of my children is open to opinion and guidance from total strangers. I just remind myself that it's meant out of kindness. Repeat 100 times.

You are absolutely right. I have never understood why we judge one another or try to outdo each other. Hang in there!