I've been working at my job for 5 years now and have been in 3 of the stores with my company. I have a descent position but I no longer make enough money for anything. I am a single mom I recieve no child support or government assistance. My checks are only $100 a week I usually don't have to pay for daycare because I have a lovely bunch who love my 2 months to 2year old son. Although his father is now married and lives down the street my son really only has me as a parent. My cars tags have expired I now have 2 fix it tickets vs gas, food, almond milk diapers. I live at my mothers and don't pay rent. My mother asked my sister to buy groceries and my sister who is trying to recover from bulimia suggests that I should as well. So nice when you give rides to someone car-less and child-less and they make suggestions to your pre-exsisted stress. I don't eat at home I take my food purchases next door to the addition where my grandmother lives and 3 out of 5 days watches my son. I'm 3 classes from state have been out of school a while and have medical, dental, 401K, auto insurance, life insurance, dependent life insurance, and a 25% garnishment. I've worked since I was 16 years of age. The tardies and absences have holted my advancement to an assistant manager. This job has prepared me to be a better person for my son.
Okay maybe I can clarify I have only one child. When I was pregnant with him I applied for assistance I received only $30 worth of food stamps for the 3 months I was on maternity leave. I made $11.21 to much money and when I tried the second time they told me my whole income was to much money. I could only receive medi-cal for my son. Which did help but I already had insurance. Welfare could not assist me with daycare, schooling or job training because I "make to much money". My sons father has 3 other children one in which he has custody of full time as well as 2 other exsisting child support cases. Some people lie, some work the system, I'm an honest hardworking tax paying citizen and apparently the only way you can get assistance is if you sleep under a bridge and kill your own food that you can get assistance. The low income child care only applies to parents who have received welfare and cash aid assistance and food stamps. I'm in that bracket of parents that a persons life determines their future to succeed and have a nicely balanced life or watch your child grow behind bullet proof glass and barbed wire. So although I don't have an outcome yet I must add, thank God that there is one because the best life I've ever lived is the one I never planned for myself. Ps I'm hard around the edges but barbed wire is not my forte.
both. if you would like to work from home there are options. I'd be glad to tell you about what i do if that interests you.
I'm not sure what your question is. Do you quit your job and make no money and benefits vs work and have some money and benefits? I think the answer should be obvious. Also, You need to contact the courts to get child support for your son.
Stay in school and keep working to support your son. Good luck to you, D..
He needs to be giving you child support. Foodstamps wouldn't hurt. I don't see anything wrong it with the small amount of pay you make and needing to feed a child plus there is also WIC. I think you should purchase food for you and your child to eat not the rest of the family. That is what I did when I lived w/ my parents. I purchased what my son and I needed not what everyone needed. Its your job to support your child not your mom's or your sister's. Get child support, get whatever type of assistance you need to get you on your own two feet and out of your mom's house.
As several others mentioned, your post is a bit confusing. I'm attributing this to your stress. What I think I'm seeing is that your paycheck is only $100 a week (take home) because of other things that are taken out of it first. The only thing I see taken out that I have any question about is the 25% garnishment. That isn't something you need to explain to us, but it leaves me at least wondering why you have that part of it. I also am assuming the tardies and absences you mention as reasons you haven't been able to advance at work are unavoidable problems due to your situation. If not, ... and really even if they are somewhat unavoidable... those are something you need to work on cutting down so you'll be more able to compete at your job. It sounds like you are satisfied with where you work, but have you checked out other employment that might have better pay?
I agree that you should go after child support from your boy's father. It's not something you should think of as being for you, but your son deserves to have his father support him. I also agree that you shouldn't have any reservations about applying for some assistance. The welfare and other systems are there for people who have problems such as yours. All assistance should be looked upon as a temporary support, but unfortunately the system is flawed and we often think of it as a shameful thing to apply for assistance, because we know of people who treat it as if it's for lifetime support to keep people from having to work. (Unfortunately, that seems to be the way the government views it too often too!) Go and apply ... and as someone else said, that will also help you get support from the boy's father, as the state will get behind you to collect from him if you are also on an assistance program.
Regarding what appears to be a disagreement in the family regarding obligations to your mother's household, perhaps you should sit down and figure out a monetary equivalent of your services in giving rides so you can then compare that to the dollar amount your sister is expected to pay in groceries. Both you and your sister need to be appreciative of everything your mother and grandmother are doing to help you out. Hopefully both of you will be in a position one day to really repay them for their generosity to you. I'm sure they both are helping out of love, and don't expect much in return, but still I'm sure it would do you good to be able to repay them in some way. I know that at this point in your life that likely doesn't even seem possible, but in time you'll be through this lean period and may be surprised at how things turn out.
My prayers are with you for a better situation and that you'll get through this tough time.
Hi D.,
I'm not going to offer you advice or tell you what's right or wrong... but what I can tell you is that I was you, almost exactly, only without the help and support of my family. I made it. I own a home. I have benefits and a good job now. Looking back, I have no idea where I got the courage, strength, energy, and perserverance to do it. Maybe it was God who carried me. I took advantage of temporary government assistance, went back to school, and then worked my tail off in my career with one stipulation... that I would always be home by 6pm so that I could be Mommy too. It was hard, but it is possible. You've got the drive, you've got the standards.
You can do it too. :-)
D.,
You need to sit down and ask yourself some questions. Why isn't the father paying any child support? You need to get that rolling, he is the father and needs to pay for his son support. You need that money to buy food and clothing for him, so please don't cheat your son of having a little more (and probably a little more that he really needs) and go file for child support. Secondly, have you requested state's help? I don't see why you wouldn't be able to get at least foodstamps?
Thirdly, I work at an University and I tell you this, it is so important to have a highschool diploma and a college degree!!! Now a days, the employers are looking for a college degree as well as for experience. If you can, try and see if you can maybe go to school after work. If you finished your high school and you are going to college, see if you can get financial aid. Don't think that you won't get it and not apply for it! please apply for it and let them tell you if you can get it or not, just don't asume anything.
And lastly, don't overwhelm yourself with everything, you can do it ! just at your pace. You don't need to rush, take a step at a time. Before you make a decision, make sure you've checked your pros and cons to see what your choices are and to make the best possible decision for you and your son.
The fact that you have medical, dental, 401K, auto insurance, life insurance and dependent life insurance is a big deal, specially with a child. See what classes you can take and talk to your employer, they might work with you when they see that you are trying to better yourself.
Blessings.
Hi D., it is my opinion that any father who has willing signed a birth certificate declaring his rights and responsibilities to a child can and should be paying to support said child.
You need to go after him for child support. You don't state the reason WHY you receive no support from him, but it doesn't really matter.
If you should apply for public assistance of any kind (and it sounds like you NEED to), the children's father will be notified that he will have to start paying support, and will be in arrears.
If not, call Social Services in your area and they will guide you as to the steps to take to start getting support from him.
This is not a question of pride, as you ARE working and trying to hold it together. It's a question of propriety, to provide the very BEST life for your kids that you are able. Takes TWO to make a baby, takes TWO to raise a baby.
Good Luck, hope this helps!
I think you should be working full time so you will make more than $100. Not sure what your question is, but working full time will help you out! Also, you should explore legal means of making the father of your child PAY child support. It's his legal obligation whether or not he has anything to do with the child. You should be forcing him legally to give you money for child support.
This is a very confusing post and I don't really understand what you are writing. But I do know, starting a home business is not an easy thing and most people fail miserable at it because they lack the skills or dedication needed to make it work. Especially without a life partners to cover them while the business gets going, statically 2 to 5 years.
Do you have any real experience in operating a business? Are you an independent worker that can set dedicated time and place aside to run a business? It is not running a business while taking care of your child, giving someone a ride, shopping for food that you hide from others. Do you have the money up front to take care of the overhead or start up cost…and there will be some regardless of what others wanting you to join them in work will tell you.
You have one life to live, no one is responsible for your life but you, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in, not your mom, your grandmom or your sister. They have their own lives.
No one owes you anything. (not that you shouldn’t avail yourself of the legal system and hold the “dead beat dad” living down the street, to every bit of his financial responsibility…but don’t count on it…look at it as a bonus if you get anything) but make it formal and make it legally binding.
Sounds like to me first you need to get yourself in school and develop some practical marketable employment skills so you can earn a living wage and gain experience in running a business from others, then if you want to start your own do it. There are many programs to assist low-income single moms with training and school. Check with your local “unemployment office” which no longer goes by that name but some facsimile of Employment Training Center. But you have to show up for work and be on time.
You have choices. You can be proactive and begin to rebuild or create a new life with the end in mind or you can let life happen to you and complain about the way the “fate” has treated you as if you have no control. But it won’t come easy and if it is too good it probably is. There are no short cuts or quick fix make it rich, earn $1000 a week from home cures. It takes hard work and being very focused to pull yourself up.
Your children, that should be your primary focus; creating a stable life for them. It is not just about you. Think legacy, think generations to come. You can do it. I was a single mom raising two children with no assistance from their father. They are now both graduated from college. I own my home, debt free and have a comfortable job.
It sounds like you have some support system. You are blessed by that. But you need to create a plan, get an education with practical skills (health care is a good choice) and get your own place and make a positive life for you and your children. If I can then you can but you have to actually create a plan, adapt it when necessary, move on and upward and not count on someone else to do it for you or in 5 years you will still be where you are today.
Good luck, oh, if you didn’t hear it…no to a home business at this point and time in your life.
D., it is great to want to stay at home with you child but I would think that if you want to build a business you would need to start the business on the part time basis while working at your job and then when it pays enough to live on then quit. I work from home but it does take time to get a business off the ground. It takes commitment to have a home based business but it a great way to be able to stay at home with your family...and I love that. S.
I personally think that you have already made your choice with 2 children to support. If you stayed at home what would that get you? I am surprised why you'd have a 2nd child at all let alone with a dead beat who hasn't helped with the 1st child. Since you don't sound like you married the father I am sure there is little you can do but you should get a way to take him to court using a court appointed attorney and force him to be responsible. Living near him would be a mager hardship esp. if you had expectations of his wanting to be involved.
Personally I can see your sisters feelings. Why should she have to pay for things when there are 3 of you to add to her budget. It is a family thing to help one another part of the budget since you pay no rent, pay no child care then you are coming out the best deal ever. There are things like 4 C's, that can help with child care and its payments for low income, the welfare program may not help otherwise but they used to have a program that helped with child care while you worked or went to school becasue I babysat for a mom who had the county pay me. But those may have been cut. What are the garnishments taken out for ? I know several single moms that are out there getting an education and working as well with familyhelp to watch thier child and have gotten decent jobs to prepare for the future. I hope that you come up with a way to be able to provide for the children and have a responsible plan for the years ahead. Good Luck
I'm curious what you are doing that you only get $100/week. I would be hesitant to quit if it means that you loose insurance for you and your son. I would also get cracking on getting some child support. It sounds like you would qualify for WIC or foodstamps too.
I'm not sure exactly what your question is. Should you quit your $100/week job? Up the hours?
I think you have a whole life ahead of you and you need to do what you need to do to make sure YOU can support yourself and your son. If that means finishing school so you can get a better job, then do it!
I would start proceedings to get child support for your son. Why is this father NOT supporting his child?????
wondering where you work and earn $100/week and have medical, dental, 401K, etc......If you need to up your cash flow immediately, did you know you can temporarily stop your 401K contributions? not sure what a 25% garnishment is......
As for the food issue--if you don't eat there at all, I wouldn't see why you would need (or how you even could) chip in for groceries.
