Wondering If I Should Supply Cake and Food for Adults

Are you staying in a hotel where she'll have the cake? Is she eating it at the competition? I'm still confused. If you want her to have cake on her birthday, then I'd recommend doing so in private either later that night or whenever you have time away from others since it's not a birthday party. I guess the way I'm reading this is that you're going to a competition where other people will know it's her first birthday. Is the competition at someone's house? A gym? A dance studio?

Without knowing more, I say do the cake in private and don't worry about other people. If they bring a gift, maybe save it for her party or open it in private so others don't feel like they should have brought a gift to something that wasn't her birthday party and then follow up with a thank you note.

Maybe I'm misreading your note. It sounds like you are inviting a bunch of people (who you would never invite in any other situation) to attend a "party" at which the only person having any food/cake is the birthday girl. And you are okay with the idea of them bringing gifts, even though you don't expect them to.

If you are having a "real party" for your daughter after the competition, why are you bothering with another one? Your daughter is only one year old and does not know when her birthday is. It sounds like you don't really want to throw another real party, with everything going on. Plus, you are putting people under obligation to come to a party (and possibly bring gifts), who you would never invite anyway. And, without food and cake for everyone, it's not really a party, is it?

If you simply want people to watch your daughter eat her cake on her special day, why don't you just tell people, "I'm celebrating her birthday by giving her her first bite of cake. It should be pretty cute! If you want to watch, please come by at 5:00pm." Don't position it as inviting them to a party. Make it a private event and anyone interested can come. That way, these people (who you wouldn't have invited anyway) won't feel obligated to attend/bring presents/etc. However, even this may be misinterpreted as there will be cake for everyone. Is it that big a deal to get a bigger cake from wherever you were getting the one for your daughter?

Could you go to a restaurant with the family and friends you listed after the competition and celebrate? It sounds like everyone is going to go their separate ways after the competition anyway. Also, I heard somewhere that you should have 2 people at your party for every year of your age. I think that means keep it small for when they are small otherwise it will be overwhelming. Make it about the people that love her not just whoever is around. Good Luck!

I say you have control of the situation. If you choose to invite people back, be clear... I am having cake for my daughter if anyone would like to join us. Otherwise... just make it clear we are doing a family thing for a while for my daughter.

Most likely if there is a competition people will want to be together as families and not intrude on your time.

I have to agree with the last response....Don't have anything for your daughter until her birthday PARTY! Being 1 she won't even know the difference! That way, no one will feel obligated, or uncomfortable, including you!

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Here's another thought,A.....Have the cake for your daughter, yourself, your hbby, boss..etc.as planned, put some money and a pizza menu aside in case more people than expected decide to show up, that way, everything is covered! I'm am pretty sure, seeing as you will be out of town for this, that no one is going to be expecting much anways! Enjoy your daughters first birthday and stop stressing!

I have th agree with alot of the other reponses here. I would not "advertise" the party any more than it already has been. Keep it simple and back at the hotel if you feel you want to do it on the day of her birth. Otherwise wait until the big party. With this being her first birthday she will not even know the party is a few days after.

ok, I am going to respond, based on the perspective of somebody who may be attending this dance competition, and know it's your daughters first birthday.

I would not expect you to throw any form of 'party' being from out of town, and only being in town for the dance competition. However, if I knew you well, I would probably get your daughter a little gift, or at least a card. whether I were invited to a party or not. Since you have not sent out any invitations, I think the obligation is a moot point.

If you feel more comfortable, the day of your daughters birthday, you can say "Emily" or whatever your daughters name is, 'turned one today! I got her a little cake and will be singing happy birthday to her later, so that she can blow out the candle and carry on the tradition of making a huge mess! You want to help sing to her?' In no way are you giving the impression there is a 'party'.

Ultimately, it can be tough to handle these social etiquette type things, but I think you can relax, take a deep breath and don't stress.

Dear A.,

Since your boss is the one to invite everyone with out your permission, I would ask your boss since she is a good freind. What she all said and who she all invited. I think that most people will be either so hungry or so tired and won't want to go to a party. If anyone askes about the party, I would just politely say there was a little confusion, we are just doing a small family event because this is such a busy weekend and we didn't want to go all out, maybe go out to eat and if anyone does approach you about going to the party, just say, we are going out to eat for her birthday you are more than welcome to come to. Good luck and I wouldn't stress over this, you have enough other things to stress over this weekend. Maybe buy a little bigger of a cake and call it good. Now a days most people want you to rsvp anyways, or they won't get enough food or cake. Good luck.
B.