My son is 4 years old. He has two bicycles, but he doesn’t like to share with other children. Yesterday, one of my friends visited us with her three-year old daughter. I asked my son to borrow one bicycle to the girl, so that they would play together. But he didn’t allow the girl to touch his bicycle. And he even pushed the girl away. Such things happened before... What should I do? ??.....
Thanks for all your help...he is now acting like a generous big guy!! But another question is he seems to be like sharing with girls but not boys....why??
Take both bikes away for a week.
Don't back down.
Sharing one is better than losing both.
Best wishes.
I don't give my daughter ownership of the toys. I tell her that they all belong to me, and that I share them with her, just as I would in my classroom:) When I get a new toy, I am clear that I got it for OUR home for US to share. She is an amazing sharing person, and will ask me if she can share our such and such toy when we have a guest:)
There's a book called I brake for meltdowns that helped me. You can try to be like it would be nice if you give her a turn so you can play together. My daughter is 2 and she's like this... she's fine at other people's houses (she'll share) but at my house no maam, she does NOT want to share.
Share or don't play with the bikes at all. That would be what I would do.
Kids do not like to share. People do not like to share. Would you like to share your car if the neighbor asked you to? Even if you had another one?
Put yourself in his shoes...
I teach my kids to share and play nicely but I also respect their feelings. If my son is adamant about not sharing something, I just say "I am sorry, he doesn't like to share this toy." or "Sorry, we are not in a sharing mood at the moment...may be later."
Have you talked with him and found out WHY he doesn't like to share? A real conversation, that hunts for the real answer, not just a safe one or easy one. Are you non-judgmental about his opionion. It's his opinion and you are asking for it. Appreciate the truth in it.
Now once you found the real reason, can you give him alternates and ideas as to how it would be okay to share? Get out of the "box" and be open to a way to honor his opinion and also to honor the friends that come to play.
There's a way. I've done this again and again from toddlerhood and still going. In addition to solving the current problem, this is showing your son that you are "safe" to talk to and get advice from. Really handy to have this dynamic down as he gets older.
Good luck! Remember he's just four. Maybe he should have some sharing down by now, but he still has over a decade of childhood to go yet.
We have a rule in my house, "People are more important than things." If I catch any of my children not sharing there are serious consequences. Your son didn't share and that is one rule broken, but you son also didn't obey you. There would be some pretty serious consequences for the way he acted if it were my house.
Few little kids like to share. You have to teach him to be polite, share and/or take turns. If there are 2 bikes you could give him first choice but say if he wants to ride bikes he needs to share one of them (or the bikes get put away).
No one likes to share. It's a learned behavior (they are learning about ownership and trust (that the lended item will be returned and not broken)) and it takes practice. Lot's of practice. My son at first would share with no one. Then sharing with me was alright (but not Daddy for a long time).
Try to explain ahead of time what will happen. "Jill is coming over to play with you later today. You will have more fun if you can play together and let her use some of your toys. When she goes home your toys will stay here.".
It's ok if there are a few special toys that he does not want to share with anyone. A beloved bedtime bear can put safely away out of harms reach. Also, some guests are not always so nice and can sometimes break a toy. Those fragile things it is also ok to put away during the visit.
