"Why Don't You Ever Take Care of Us?"

I hear "Do you have to go to work today?" I always tell my kids that sometimes there are things in life we don't want to do, but have to do. I don't like leaving them at home while I am at work, but I have to have a job. I use examples like you don't want to go to bed, but you have to. This seems to make it easier to understand for them. I explain that their job is to do school and to go to school every day. They are just lucky enough to get a long summer break from their job. :)

I think this is a question that most kids ask.

I'm a SAHM.
But that does not matter.
When kids are irked, they say things like that sometimes.
My kids included.
Once, my son had a minor cut on his thumb. He was being all drama. I put a Band-aid on after putting Bactine on it, then went about my chores. He then, CRIED and said to me all exasperated "MOMMY I thought you were going to take care of me! You're not doing that!"
Ugh.

However, your 7 year old is old enough, for you to talk to her.
My daughter has asked me, "Mommy how come you don't work like the other Mommies and make money?"
She was about 5 when she said this.
I then... per her cues, FULLY explained that all Mommies are Mommies, but we each do different things. Some work. Some stay home with their kids. But we all do what we have to or can. I explained that me & Daddy decided that I would stay home to be with her/brother and raise them. That all Mommies, take care of their kids and families, differently etc.

Then, sometimes my Daughter will say that when she grows up she wants to be a SAHM just like me. Of course whoever is in earshot and hears this, all gasp and tell her "You can be anything you want! You can be something important like a President! not just a Mommy" (as though a SAHM is, nothing 'important.').
So, it goes both ways.

You know what? I think kids know how to push the guilt button, and sometimes they do it deliberately! My four year old asks why I leave him at daycare so long. Now I'm going to tell him it's so we don't have to live in a cardboard box under a freeway (I love that one!). Kids are part of a family unit, and they need to learn what makes that family unit tick. Even kids have to partake in the give and take of family life, and realise that not everything will be all about them personally.

I work full time and I understand the heartbreak in hearing this. But nowadays, my daughters understand that "Mommy has to go to work so I can make money to pay for x,y,z (place to live, car to ride in, food to eat, clothes to wear, toys to play with etc.)." and that "Mommy has to go to work so we don't have to live in a cardboard box under a freeway." I've remind them verbally how I'd rather not spend so much of my time working outside of our home, so I could spend more time with them, but at this point, that's not a choice for Mommy. 7 isn't too old to understand the concept of providing for one's family. Bright side for you is at the end of the year, you'll be free from working :)

I get the you never do anything with us. Then when I am home I offer up why don't we do this or that and they are like meh. I think they just like to complain

I've heard it from my daughter. And within two hours with me she will also tell me that I am "boring"!

Don't guilt yourself over this. Of course your 7 year-old would like your undivided attention, but you also say she is very social. I might encourage them to go to camp more consistently. Kids do like consistency and routine.

I also don't think 7 is too young to teach the relationship between work = paycheck = providing for your family's needs...

My 3 yr old will ask me in the morning if I have to go to work and could I just stay home? I actually caved once and he was totally bored with me within an hour b/c I had housework to do while I was home.

Kids are really perceptive, but they don't always articulate what they are really thinking or feeling, so it comes out "wrong". A colleague of mine told me once to never feel guilty for working to provide for your family, no matter what your kids say! The grass is always "greener" on the other side. This came after her daughter (8 at the time) told her that she was sending her to aftercare b/c she was getting paid to take care of other kids- school psychologist. She was devastated, but when she probed further, her daughter didn't mean the comment in a judgmental way.

"Because I have to work. But guess what? At the end of the year, I'm going to quit work! So I will get to stay home with you, and take care of you all the time! I can't wait!!"

She wants you home. Don't discount that.

I work from home and have a call I have to get on daily at 5pm. I take my kids to the sitter (who they love and so do my hubby and I) at 830ish in the morning at get them anytime between 3 and 430...depending on what I have going on. Then they have to be quiet while I'm on my call. Can be anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, though it's supposed to be only 30 minutes. They are normally REALLY good for me during this, but they do want to stay home sometimes with me. I just make a point to make amazing days with me for them. Like Monday I took leave and took them to the National Zoo. For the week they were off in Christmas, I took leave that week and we did a staycating (tons of fun things to do in and around our area), for spring break I took a few days off and we went to the National Harbor and stayed in the Presidential Suite for 3 nights. They LOVE these things and know M. and daddy have to work for this to happen for them. And we are saving for our Disney trip in September, so they are okay to go to daycare...but luckily for me they love it. If they really beg to stay home, I let them stay with me though. Dont feel bad though, you're doing what you have to do :). Oh, and my kids are 4, 6, and 8.

They are starting to process thoughts differently now. They are going into abstract thinking processes. Sit down when you have a few minutes and take your budget, your daily schedule, etc...and show them how you spend your time earning money for their clothes, transportation, dance lessons, sports, eating out, birthday parties, cable tv, game equipment, etc...they need to see concrete evidence of what your time away is being spent on.

You can also use this opportunity to start them on the way to understanding the value of money and what it takes to have electricity and running hot and cold water. Start a savings plan in the home, maybe a piggy bank or something glass they can see the money building up in.

Ouch. Maybe it's just a test to see your reaction. I wouldn't do anything unless it comes up again, or perhaps bring it up at a non-stressful, laid-back time. I might say "hey, you know when you said "xxxx", I was wondering why you feel that way". Maybe it comes from her friend getting to go somewhere with her mom, or something else that is a small thing. Sounds like you are a very present and caring mom.

I get this too, even though I stay home during the week (I have a daycare) on the weekends I work overnights (while they sleep) lol. I just tell them you like to eat right??? that usually gets a good laugh.

my son asked that a few times when i was working full time....then i quit and i just recently went back part time but it seemed to be that he just wanted one on one attention without his sister or anyone else....its a tough one with two kids but eventually we worked it out

My kids (2 & 4) are home for the summer with my husband (he is a teacher). Almost every day, my 4 y.o. son begs me not to go to work. I am able to come home for lunch. One day after lunch my son begged me not to go back to work and said that it would break his heart if I left. It broke my heart.

my kids told me.....daddy is the best mommy. He's the primary caregiver since he lost his job a year ago.