My stepdaughter has decided she wants a Princess Birthday party :) To save money (as money is tight) we decided to have it at our condo since all her friends live by us. She plans on inviting 5 friends.
For previous birthdays she had it at her grandma's on her dad's side because that's where she lived. Of course all the adults and family were in attendance (because they lived there). Grandma lives 40 minutes away from us and all my Stepdaughter's friends.
I was thinking of just a kid party with her and her other 7-8-year-old friends. In my family you don't invite all the relatives to the kid party when you get older. Instead I usually went out to eat or did something special with just my family.
My husband wants all his family at her kid party because that's what they have had in the past. This would be an extra 5 adults in our house. He seems blind to the fact that we won't all fit!
I can't imagine all those adults AND kids in our little condo! Plus she's going to be doing things with her little friends, games and such. I can't see where she'd play the games if the adults are standing around...there's no room! I was envisioning a kid party that lasts about 2 hours max, much like the other kid parties we have been to.
I had everything planned with my stepdaughter on how we were going to decorate our room (stuff leftover from our wedding!) and the banquet table. We could do it all inexpensively.
We just don't have room for 9 adults and 6 kids in our condo. Our dining room table only seats 8 at the max. I suppose the adults could eat on the couch...but we only have one couch that seats 3! There isn't room for any more seating (and we don't have any more chairs anyway).
We could move the party to a bigger location, but that involves renting a room at the park district and carting everything over there, plus the cost of renting the room. We could ask his family to chip in, but even if they paid 1/2 of the room it's still an extra $50 for us.
I suggested that all the adults come over after the kids had left and we all go out and do something special with her. He seems to think they will be crushed, because they helped plan all her birthdays in the past (because she lived there!) He said part of the fun is seeing her have fun with her friends. I agree, but isn't there an age when that stops and the kids just have kid parties?
I'm ready to turn to my husband and say "YOU plan the party then!" HELP!
We just tried something new this weekend and it was a great success! We had a kids party over lunch and then an adult party the same date over dinner. My husband and I were totally exhausted, but it was well worth it. Too many people at once just wasn't working for us any longer!
In-laws are a tricky thing to deal with... since the expectation in the past is that the adults come, could you do the "crowded" party this year and mention at the party that next year, it will be kids one day and adults another day?
I would have the kid party from 3-5 & just serve some snacks & cake. Then have your husbands family come from 5-7 to watch her open gifts & have a family dinner (with another cake, so they can sing happy birthday). If you want to keep the princess theme going, ask the adults to dress up like kings & queens & call the dinner a royal feast.
At our house, we ALWAYS have a separate "friend party" and "family party". Why in the world would you mix the two?
The kid party can have cheap cupcakes and frozen pizza, they don't care. The kids can make a mess with crafts and make lots of noise, and run around.
The family party has food you care about, having your daughter use best manners and kiss the relatives and appreciate the gifts that are given. Completely different parties.
I have 2 kids born in October. That's 4 parties in a short amount of time, but each child deserves to feel special on their day. The family doesn't even mind coming out twice in a month, they understand that combining parties is not an option for me. It's not expensive either, we can do burgers on the grill or bring in Subway etc. It's about being together and appreciating our wonderful kids.
I agree with the other moms, the girls will have more fun with a seperate party. My daughters 15 now, but her favorite party was her 8th, just girls, music, cake, munchies,and a bowl of candy. They giggled and danced around, and opened gift. Her friends still talk about it because the had the freedom to be silly girls. Have fun and enjoy your family the next day!
Hi NW-
I think the princess party should just be for your stepdaughter and her friends. I had 15 girls in my house for my daughter's bday party this past winter. You said your condo is small... so I definitely would just have the girls over. My daughter had her one aunt paint nails, another aunt and older cousin do up-dos and the older cousin dance with them to music from CDs like KIDZ BOP. They had A LOT of fun without the price of a girl's salon like Libby Lu or Sweet and Sassy. (Fun places, but too expensive for a whole party.
Couldn't you just have the adults over for on another day for some cake??? Say after lunch, but before dinner? Maybe put on the invitation from 2:00- 4:00... stating cake will be served. (That way they know not to expect a meal... I think you mentioned money is tight.) If you do this, then at least you're compromising with your hubby. You don't think an adult party is necessary and he wants one.... so this way you are kind of meeting in the middle.
Or how about having her party in the park?? My son just went to one last weekend and he had a great time. The parents had balls, bean bag games, etc... the kids basically wound up playing unstructued games and some soccer with the bday boy's dad. If your daughter wants a princess party so badly... I think it could still be done at a park. Maybe you could not curl any hair... but you could still put some hair glitter and bows in the girls hair. I recommend that you have a girlfriend or sister help you with a princess party. Having a teenager at my daughter's party (my niece) was so COOL to the 6 and 7 yr. old girls. If the party is in the park, the adults would have some space.... but I think girls like having a party to themselves, though.
I hope this helps you.
J.
Hi mom one way to solve this is to have a sleep over for your daugther party if that is not better for you then let your family know that you are only having ice cream and cake nothing big, then if that do not work let them give the party and have it at their house. Remember this is for your daughter and you are trying to please her and make her happy. Have fun
Yes, u have a great idea on having the dinner after the kids are done with their own party. My daughter only invited her friends, then only the family went out to dinner, nothing wrong with that. She is growing into a young lady where they only want to do their own things.
Good Luck!!!
H.
We have a tiny house. My husband gets embarrassed (but doesn't want to move) so I still want the parties. Turns out people come anyway. Let the grownups decide. They can be forwarned if you think it is too crowded but you know a lot of people really don't mind squishing together for a couple of hours. Some of the best parties I was at were in kitchens the size of my baby toe. Ok, that's not quite true, but well that's it. Otherwise, have two parties. One with the little friends and then one at Grandma's and have macaroni. Cheap and kids love it. Just don't worry. Have fun and she will too.
If your husband wants to include relatives, do two parties. one, with the friends and one with just family. explain in plain terms that it is too crowded for everyone at one party. at this age, kids will love the idea of 2!
I am from a small family that also would do the family parties at restaurants, always seperate from the kids parties. I have married into a big Italian family that also wants to be at all of the kid's things. If they've been to your condo, they know the size and probably do not think it is an issue - it's about your step-daughter and being there for her special day.
What I suggest is inviting your husband's side just to keep peace. Ask them if they wouldn't mind bringing a folding chair or two and maybe a dish/appetizer/dessert. Tell them of the theme and they will have fun doing things for it.
Don't stress, enjoy the day - it sounds like a great party in the works!
It's hard to give advice in a "step" situation. There are a lot of unknown variables still.
I was also going to say park: adults and kids aren't smashed together and the kids can be observed.
I'm about to plan an 8 year old party as well, but we do not have family nearby, so it's not an issue. I found adults stop coming around age 4/5, partially because they have other kids to take care of.
Perhaps you can talk with some of the family and see if they will truly be "crushed" if they don't attend the whole party.
I say ask your 8-year old. If she is anything like my kids, she will only want kids at her party. She is too old to have the adults watching her every move. The other kids won't like that either. If your extended family wants to celebrate, have something with them at their house or at another place.
Your husband doesn't have to make this more difficult for you. Have cake and cofee for the family the night before. Nobody's left out that way.
I agree with you. In the past, my husband has invited his parents to the kids' party, but then he concentrates on how they're doing, instead of helping and enjoying the kids. Especially as the kids get older, it's best to have a party with just kids, and a separate get-together with family. Your idea of having the adults over later is great, so they can see the decorations, cake (if there's any left!), etc. If you have a digital camera, they can even see the photos. Keep working with your step-daughter on this--it's such a fun age for planning together! Good luck.
How about having a party for her and her friends on Saturday and then a family party on Sunday?
The parties should be seperate. Your step daughter will want to hang out with her friends and not the relatives if they are all together. Do 2 parties if you have to. And i hate going to a party where you cant move and there is no where to sit. I always think "why do they have all these people over when they dont have the room?" I dont think that's a good idea and not very enjoyable either.
HeyNW,
I come from a family much like your husbands. Whether its birthdays, graduations or baptisms, we are there. And it doesn't matter the age of the child. It sounds to me, regardless of the size of your condo, its all about the love of that child. You are going to have to get used to his family and how they do things. Plan the party, include a few family members, be hospitable and loving for the childs sake. If your condo is as small as you claim, they will stay for the singing of the bday song and maybe some cake then leave.
I hope this helps. Let us know how it goes.
How long have you been married? It might be best to 'do it his way' this time and not change what your husband and his family is used to. Maybe next year after you've shown that you don't need to do everything your way. Do you have to rent a park district room? Is it illegal to just set up a table and make the princess party more casual in the park? It sounds like you have definitely made an effort to work out a good plan for your spunky step-daughter, but it's probably best to change plans with her a little in order to appease the adults who are more set in their ways. If you have to do it in the house maybe push the table to a wall in order to make room and serve from it buffet style. Have people eat standing up (except the elderly). Move some furniture around. Borrow folding chairs or stools from some place. I do believe you have planned a terrific party but I went through doing things differently and it was a pain in the.
I say let your daughter decide. Its her birthday and it should be about what she wants to do. The adults in her life should be able to respect her decision. I agree that it would be different for her to have a kid only party but it sounds like that's not the only thing that is different in her life anyway. Let her have her princess party and if the adults on dads side want a party they can always plan a second party at grandmas like they have had in the past. What kid wouldn't want two parties.
to me it sounds like logistically it would be a mess. Grandpartents won't get their due attention, feelings will be hurt, too much stress on an 8-year-old. I suggest you compromise with your husband and have the family over for cake and coffee another night. If you do it the same night she'll be too tired, hyped up, over-stimulized (?) and it just won't go well, trust me we've tried that and I was beside myself. Stand your ground tell him it's for the best of the relatives so they get the fun and see their granddaughter at her best, not her worst.
Hello,
Your husband is delusional! Most men are when it comes to party planning.
I think having 2 separate parties, or having the relatives come by as the kid party is letting up, is perfectly OK and normal.
Anyway, the party is for your step daughter, not his relatives.
Just go ahead with your plans. Besides, how great are you for being involved with your step daughter and planning what sounds like is going to be a great and fun party for her.
Good Luck and have fun!
S
