Who Is Responsible When Kids Are Playing and Something Gets Broke?

I guess I would want to know a couple of details. First, how old were these kids? Second, were the kids playing at a normal play time (early evening, for example) or did this Nerf gun fight start at like 2 in the morning when the parents would normally be sleeping?

I agree that homeowners insurance should pay for damage to an $800 tv. Maybe the parents don't want to file a claim and pay a deductible, but that's their choice.

I don't see where you're entitled to the broken tv.

If your son is old enough to understand costs, and if he purposely threw the gun and is old enough to understand that throwing toys can cause breakage, I'd have him do some chores to earn part of the money.

It was a sleepover...did you expect the parents to stay up all night in the same room and watch the kids? Whose idea was it to play nerf guns in the house? It was your son that threw the nerf gun that broke the TV. You have a lot of responsibility here. I think that it's appropriate to share the cost in some way. That being said, I don't think you have any claim to the broken TV unless you pay the full cost for the new one. Why would you want a broken TV anyway?

of course you're at least partially responsible. it's one of the hazards of parenting.

how old are the kids?

i don't think parents have to ride herd on kids playing 100% of the time. in fact, i think that's one of the problems of modern parenting. it's incumbent on each parent to impress on their spawn to be respectful of other people's property. i note that you give yours an out by claiming 'accidental.' of course it was accidental. but he didn't throw the gun accidentally, did he?

he's not awful. he's a kid. kids get over-excited and stuff happens.

and when that stuff happens it's a teaching moment for everybody. yours is to demonstrate to your child that we take responsibility for our actions, whether it was accidental or deliberate. he broke the tv. you're stuck paying for it. if he's very small then an explanation may suffice. if he's older he should probably help pay for it. not as a punishment, but a natural consequence. don't throw hard objects unless you're outside and it's appropriate.

i think that you continuing to negotiate down your end of the deal is cheap and tacky. why on earth would you get the old tv just because you've offered to pay PARTIALLY for a new one?

if i were the injured party here i'd let you off the hook altogether but then i'd cut you and your kid out of our circle.

pay them the half for the new tv and stop trying to niggle them down. and teach your kid not to be a hairy-assed baboon in other people's houses.
khairete
S.

I think I would keep the arrangement that you pay for half of the the $449 tv you found at Best Buy. I get your point,but I think you should let go of the broken tv issue. It's not worth getting into a further dispute with your son's friend's parents.

Personally, if I was the host, I wouldn't have asked for any compensation, and I would have thanked, but turned down any offers. And if my child did the damage, I would offer to compensate, and just agree to whatever they thought was fair. If I thought it was a little unfair, I'd probably suck it up and still pay graciously. If I thought what the asked was extremely unfair, I'd try to reach a respectful and agreeable compromise, but certainly think twice about encouraging or supporting future get togethers under their supervision.

The parents who hosted the sleepover should have supervised better.
Their failure to do so makes it their fault.
Who lets kids play nerf guns in the house?
They should bear the cost of fixing/replacing their tv - and most likely their home owners insurance should cover most if not all of it.
I wouldn't have offered to pay anything and if that's the way they supervise when they have kids over - mine wouldn't be going over there anymore.

Additional:
People say part of the risk of parenting is kids will break things.
Part of the risk of hosting a kids sleep over is that accidents will happen when you have kids romping around and egging each other on like they would never behave individually.

If the tv works - her homeowners insurance might not want to replace the tv.
However - there are plastic or glass repair kits for auto wind shields that might make the crack less noticeable - she can try that if she wants to.
If the crack isn't over the view-able part of the screen - I wouldn't worry about it myself.
I still say this is the hosts risk and fault.
She'll fix or replace her tv - or live with it as is.
You don't owe her nor are you entitled to her cracked tv.

Since you offered her money - just pay her and let it go.
Whether she wants 2 tvs or not is irrelevant.
A fun evening had risks/consequences and turned into parental squabbling over expensive toys.

If it had been us - and thankfully we have not been in this situation - we would have just asked if we could compensate, and be done with it. We would have hoped they would decline (have home insurance cover it instead). I would have simply forked over whatever. I wouldn't have gotten into looking up TV's or asking for the broken one. I tend to keep things simple and short - to the point. That is ME though personally.

As for kids using Nerf guns around expensive TVs, I get it - it happens. Not here - no. We have house rules, and we had an unfinished basement at the time when we had sleepovers with Nerf wars, and hockey games. So I agree - the parents should have had house rules - period. So they definitely have some responsibility here - the thing is, do you want to get all into that? I would not - personally. Again, that is me.

I see your point entirely of offering to pay 1/2 a new one. I do. That does seem entirely reasonable - and I think that's more than fair, honestly. Regardless, I would not ask for the old one. I would just let that go. Obviously they can still view the TV and want it for another room or something (so yes, it adds some complexity to the situation) .. but I'd let that go, because I wouldn't want to go there.

It would be helpful to know the age of the boys.

Even though it was your son that through his gun that hit the television, he probably never would have done so if he wasn't with a group of boys that were overly energetic. When you put 4 kids together in a small space, bad things happen. So even though he directly damaged the television, the responsibility belongs to him, the entire group that was playing a game that they probably shouldn't have been playing, and the parents that allowed that to happen.

What struck me as odd was that she said that it would cost $200 to repair it, but then found out that it couldn't be repaired. Where did that $200 estimate come from? When she contacted someone for an estimate, why weren't they able to tell her at that time that it couldn't be repaired?

I think you handled it well. I think that the best thing to do in these situations is to sincerely apologize to the host and offer reimbursement. In my experience, the host is usually gracious and will refuse the reimbursement. So you then find another way for your child to make up for what they've done. And if the host does present you with a bill, you talk through it with them. Which is exactly what you've done.

The details sound fishy to me, I would just give them $50 (1/4 of what she said the original repair would cost) and leave it at that. The kids were playing unsupervised in an area with an expensive item so really the fault lays with them anyways. It would be different if the boys were 16+ but is sounds like that is not the case here. In truth their home owners insurance should cover it so I don't know why they are coming after you for the money anyways.

My neighbor's kid broke one of our kitchen cabinets....I didn't even tell the mom about it. Got it fixed myself.
Part of having kids in your house is supervising them.Why were they allowed to play like that in the house?
I'm sure I have a different opinion from everyone else, but I think its the other family's responsibility. If they aren't supervising, they take the consequences.

People are so weird about this stuff. If anything gets broken at my house (either guests or people who live here) I feel like I am responsible. The only way I would ask for retribution is if someone was purposely and/or irresponsibly causing damage. But normal play, an accident? I wouldn't even ask. If it was VERY expensive I'd file a claim with my homeowner's insurance.
I don't know what advice to give, but I'd probably not pay them anything for a while. Tell them that you need x amount of time to come up with the money and let them wait. Passive aggressive? Maybe. But they're being jerks :-(

In my opinion, you are responsible. Your kiddo damaged another person’s property. Good that it was an accident and not intentional, but bottom line, he’s culpable which means you’re responsible.

Accidents happen and the best part of this is you choose what your son takes away from this. If you want to raise him to take responsibility for his choices and behavior, you model it. If you want to show him he can blame it on circumstances, other people or whatever, you model that.

Personally I am sick to death of people who won’t admit they’ve made a mistake let alone take responsibility for it. If it were me, I’d be replacing the TV. Your offer to pay half was accepted, I’d do that but certainly not ask for their broken TV.

Respecting other people and their property is fundamental. I do not side with the idea that the family is at fault because they weren’t supervising better. Your son threw a hard plastic gun inside a house. He’s young and made a mistake. Teach him to take responsibility for his mistakes.

What an uncomfortable situation! Awkward, to say the least. If you have kids over at your house, you’re assuming a risk. And the people sending their kids over to your house are also taking a risk, since they’re basically trusting their child with you. If there were an accident and a kid got hurt, no matter how it happened, the homeowners would most likely be liable because it happened in their home.

Thankfully, no one got hurt, but I think the same concept applies: they assumed the risk by having a bunch of kids over and allowing them to play a ROUGH game in an area with a TV. Too bad the TV got damaged, but it was an accident. What if someone had gotten hurt?

I understand parents may not be able to have eyes on their kids AT ALL TIMES, but if you have a bunch of other people’s kids in your house, it’s your responsibility to watch them, and to know when things are getting too rough.

They shouldn’t have allowed them to play with Nerf guns in that area of the house, period.

I don’t think you should have to pay for it. It would have been better of they had mentioned the incident, and then you could have offered to help in some way, but to demand payment is kind of ridiculous.

Unfortunately, at this point, it seems like if you don’t pay up, that friendship might suffer. It’s a tough position to be in.

I’m finding it hard to believe a nerf gun cracked a TV.

My son and his buddies played Nerf outside, mainly, but in the winter they could play in the basement, near an old tv. I get what you are saying about supervision but I also realize that Nerf bullets are not very likely to ruin a tv, but a big plastic Nerf gun tossed in that direction is. It was an accident, but your son is at fault. I think you are getting off pretty well by only paying half. If this were me and my son, he would be doing age-appropriate jobs at home to help work off the cost. He needs some skin in the game. He broke the tv.

Honestly, what would YOU do if it had happened at your house?
I agree its not your responsibility, its the chance you take when you have kids over and roughhousing.
Now, if it was kids outside throwing rocks and it broke a window, to me, that would be different-- the responsible kids mom should pay. I dont know why I feel that way, I just do.

I think you have to decide if you are going to pay for your son to still be friends with this boy or not. Basically, that is what is has come down to. If your son isn't going to be friends with this boy anymore for various reasons, or if you think he will be excluded from future sleepovers/invites anyways, even if you pay, then maybe paying big bucks isn't your best or only option.

I'd ask to see the damaged TV first. Second, I'd ask for a letter or statement from a TV repair person stating that the TV cannot be repaired. Third, I'd ask for the year, make, model and serial number of the TV. Fourth, I'd ask for a copy of the homeowner's policy showing coverage and the deductible.

At the point that I'd have to write a check, it would be for the amount of either the insurance deductible, the repair, the DEPRECIATED value of the broken TV, or a new TV that is a fair replacement agreed upon by all parties - which ever is the LOWEST.

Don't get rooked into paying more than what is fair or more than what an insurance company would pay to replace.

After you finally settle on an amount, I'd be having your son repay you for the damages in installments - he knew better than to throw the gun to begin with.

Good luck!

Hi Toni, I find the mom shady since they would not give up the broken tv but to avoid small claims court do this, send a certified letter requesting. Model and serial number of tv, in letter say you will pay current value of tv, that’s all court would give them. I would bet it’s less than $200.00 but that’s not the point. If you have something like this proving you tried to solve the situation the way the courts would, if they don’t accept, you are way ahead in the courts point of view. A google search after you have the tv model & s/n can give you the current value or you can call a pawn shop, they would know as well. I agree you are responsible but let’s be adults about it and pay them what the courts would since they are being ridiculous about the situation. Ps I am the kind of mom that unless the kids wrecked the car or something I’d chuck it up to having kids, lol. I hope this helps. Good luck! Sorry this happened, hope its not a close friend, if it is, you might have to pay and then return the favor later on when her kid breaks something at your house, that would only be fair.😉

Does your son know for a fact the tv cracked when he threw the nerf gun?

I think It is really nervy of the mom to ask you to pay for a new TV then won’t give you the “damaged” TV that still works. Although I think It is nervy, if my child broke another person’s belongings I would offer to pay for it.

My daughter’s friend broke my daughter’s toe. I never even told the mom and my hospital co-pay was $500.