Who Has a Wedding Shower 4 Months Before the Wedding?

Simple. You tell her you are sorry but you won't be able to go, as you already have tickets to the concert. And you send a nice gift. Not everybody can make it to the shower. No big deal.

So she hadn't actually sent out invites to the shower yet? I'm assuming if she had, you would have already known the date. Since you didn't know, and you've been wanting to see this concert for so long, I'd go to the concert. I know how hard it is to round up babysitters so for it all to fall into place like that is too good to pass up.

So I'd either pop in for the shower a bit, if possible, but if not, just send her a nice gift and card. It's more important that you go to the wedding. She can't expect you to drop everything for something you didn't even know was going to happen. Now, if it were the wedding, that's a different story. But it's not. So go and have fun. :)

I'm assuming you spent some decent money on the tickets. She's having an unusually early bridal shower. You've already made a commitment for that night. If she's a good friend, she should understand why can't come.

send a gift.
go to the concert.
it's not like you're going to miss the wedding.
khairete
S.

You send a gift and go to the concert.

Guess she should have mentioned that earlier!

Go to the concert. Her shower is too early.

I don't think the issue is if it's too "early."

I guess you can either:
1. Miss the concert and attend the shower if the times overlap or if you will be out of town to attend the shower.
2. Do both, if the time frame allows.
3. Decline the shower and go to the concert.

Up to you, obviously.

Sometimes if a bride has lots of out-of-town family, they may do the shower early so the guests won't be flying in twice in a month or 6 weeks..so it's actually kind of accommodating in that way.

You already have bought the tickets, so when you (eventually) receive the shower invitation, you RSVP with "unable to attend". Unless of course she has it in the DAYTIME and it doesn't interfere with your previously made plans.

Besides, she is now on "notice" that you already have plans. If she is THAT upset that you won't be able to make it to her shower on that date, then she has ample time to change it, doesn't she? The invitations haven't been sent.

Are you part of the wedding party? If so, that will make your decision even more difficult. If not, go to the concert and send her a nice gift.

I had mine 6 months in advance so that my mother could go. My wedding was in April and my mom will not fly up to NY if there is snow. So we did it in November. A little unconventional but I wanted my mother there.

My friend had her engagment party last May. So, I bought her a present last May, then she had a bridal shower in January, a couples shower in February, a lingerie shower in March, a bachelorette party in April and finally a wedding last week! yikes! Other peoples happiness is so expensive. I skipped the couples shower. I'm all showered out for a while.

Go to the concert and send a bridal gift....save the date for the wedding though.

I did.

Sometimes the timing is about when the most people can make it - out of towners and what-not.

Not a big deal go to the concert you didn't know when her bridal shower was & if you did so what,things like this just don't bother me.Send a gift or do lunch with her before her shower then attend the wedding in Nov.

What time is the shower? Every shower I have been to was lunch or afternoon. If the concert is in the evening then there shouldn't be a problem doing both.

It's not really considered bad form to have such an early shower.

It IS considered bad form for the bride to know about her shower. ;-p

My wedding shower was in May and I was married in August. As for your predicament, if the shower and concert are relatively close in location attend both. If not, you have already bought the tickets to the concert so go. She may be a little disappointed but how were you to know so far in advance.

Concert w/ hubby would be my choice ;) You'll be at the wedding to celebrate anyway.
Send a gift...

Well, I had my shower in December and I got married at the end of March. But, we did it that way because I live far away from my family and it was a good time when everyone would be able to be together and I was home for the holidays anyhow. There are lots of reasons why she may be having her shower on that day, so it's not really weird to me. Are you in the wedding? If not, you shouldn't feel bad about not going to the shower. After all, this concert is important to you too. Make sure you send a gift though, esp if she is a close friend. If it is scheduled early enough in the day, you may be able to do both the shower and the concert. She may also be having more than one, so maybe you could attend the other one.

My sisters threw my bridal shower VERY early becuase one of them was going to be 8-9 months pregnant in the 2 months before my wedding - and she lives in another state. It's not the norm - but sometimes it's done to work around other family members. Go to the concert and enjoy it. Maybe you can make it to some of the shower if it's mid-day as many showers are. If not send a lovely gift, or bring it to her ahead of time.

Sounds normal to me. Really, anytime from 6 months up until the few weeks before the wedding is acceptable, especially in this day and age where invitees from out of town may wish to travel to both the shower and the wedding. (Invitations typically go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding)

There really isn't any hard and fast rule to this, but since you've already bought your tickets then I don't think it would be unreasonable on your part to skip the shower even if she is your good friend. I mean, how on earth were you supposed to know when she was going to have her bridal shower? You don't have deja vu! And, it's not like you bought the tickets thinking, "Thank goodness I got out of *that*!"

Tell your friend that you regret you won't be able to attend her shower, send a gift as a show of good faith, have fun at the concert with your husband, and then make up for it at the wedding :)

Well too bad you already have plans that you have been dreaming about for years. Okay well maybe not that long. But since you never got an invitation you made plans. Go to the concert send a gift and let her know you will be there for the wedding.

Well, I guess she does. Most of the bridal showers I have gone to were usually maybe a month or two before the wedding.

Since you got tickets already and those are something that you usually can't return or exchange (and most likely you really want to go to this particular concerts, otherwise you wouldn't have bought the tickets), I would just let her know what the situation is and order a gift to be sent to her at her bridal shower. If the concert doesn't mean that much to you and you really want to attend the bridal shower, then see if you can sell the tickets or maybe give them to someone special so that they can go in your place. If you do decide to go to the concert, your friend should hopefully understand since you bought the tickets not knowing that it would conflict with the scheduling of her bridal shower.

Good luck figuring out what to do.

It is strange. My bridal showers (yes, I had one in my hometown and one thrown by my inlaws where I currently live as they are 12 hours driving time apart) -- were in June and July. I was married August 5th. 4 months before the wedding (and in the middle of the flippin summer when people are on vacation nonetheless) is nuts! Heck there are already so many SUMMER weddings that she is crazy to have this shower before September! My guess is that she set it that way based on some family member's schedule.

Go to the concert! Unless there is any way you can do both (like show up at the shower but leave early) if they are close in proximity.

I third the suggestions. Send a shower and enjoy the time with Hubby. If possible help set up shower then go. I agree 4 months is a long time before the wedding.

Mine was 3.5 months before the wedding. I got married June 30 and my shower was during my spring break. I was teaching out of state and needed to have it when I was on break from work. If you didn't know the date, you shouldn't feel bad. Can you do both? Bridal shower at 2 and concert at 7?

OH MY WORD!!! FOUR MONTHS!?!?!?! Is she INSANE?!!

My first wedding - my shower was 4 weeks before the weeks. My second marriage? TWO DAYS BEFORE THE Wedding!!!!

The wedding invites don't even go out that early...oh my God! Tell her to STOP!!!!

Go to the concert and send a gift. If she doesn't like it? too bad.

Take a gift to the bride's home or her parents home a few days before the shower. Go to the concert and enjoy the time with your hubby.