Whiney Daughter

My daughter went through the exact same thing. I am a teacher so when she went back to daycare after a summer off she was very whiny and clingy and had tantrums and tears nearly everyday after daycare. We found it helped her to have a "coming home" routine to help her settle from her long (but fun!) day with lots of stimulation and transition to home where it is less busy and she's tired from her day. We would walk out and get the mail when we got home, then go in the house, take of her coat and shoes, get a drink of water, then read a book or two. That really helped her because she knew what to expect when she got home, much like a bedtime routine at night. After the books sometimes she would play by herself and sometimes I would play with her, just depended on her mood and the day. But after we got the routine established she had a much easier time transitioning to being at home.

Hi,
My husband and I are in a similar situation with our 18 month old son. He started daycare about 5 weeks ago and has had a difficult time adjusting and still cries when we drop him off. Although I call several times throughout his day to check in on him and all is fine, at their age being seperated from the familiar faces of mommy and daddy or grandma can be overwhelming. I also used to get very frustrated with his whining...I could get nothing done at night! Dishes, cleaning, etc. is now done once he is asleep...or it waits until the following day! Instead of allowing myself to get increasingly frustrated and annoyed, I embraced the whining (so to speak). What I mean is I began to view it as a cry for some alone time with mommy and daddy. So, now instead of rushing into our nightly chores and prep for the next day, after changing out of our work clothes, we all sit in the living room on the floor...we talk about our day, we play with toys, we act silly together...he loves it! And you know what, we love it too!! He will only be this age for a very short period of his life...one day we may miss the whining! So, my advise is to try to embrace the whining! it may not be easy to find what works for you but be creative!! Good luck!

Maybe its a little harder right now because she's not fully recovered from her ear infection. She's healthy enough to return, but not 100% and needs a little more "mom" to boost her until she's back on track.

p.s. with daycare, I gave my son Stoneyfield Yogurt on a daily basis. He missed so many of the bugs that went around. I can't prove that this is why, but I believe it is.

Oh, that is a hard sound to listen to. I sure feel whiny when I don't get enough sleep. And sleep is even more important for young children. You might try moving her bedtime up an hour, and see if that helps.

Whining in a very young child is simply an expression of need and/or discomfort. (It is in older kids, too, but usually they have more learned resources to fall back on.) It is meant to be a sound that adults can't ignore, because toddlers are dependent on adults for getting virtually all their needs met, and this could be emotional in addition to physical. Can you devote 20-30 minutes when you all get home to just snuggling and playing with her? That might make a world of difference.

I think if you sit down with her for 10-15 minutes of undivided attention when you get home (before you do ANYTHING) you will see a change. She really misses you during the day, and she can't really express it, so this is what she does to get your attention at home. Give her top priority, and she'll let you go about your routine in peace.

i have this problem with my daughter. she is 6. it started when she was in preschool at age 4. she's pretty much fine on the weekends but when its a school day she's terrible. i think it might be that they are too overstimulated, and also not getting enough rest. too tired. especially at daycare because they will wake up kids even if they are still sleeping.

Daycare is not easy for an 18 month old typically. I agree with the mom who said you need to give her undivided attention when you pick her up and first get home. Hopefully you are talking to her when you are driving home in the car (as opposed to her being in front of a DVD and you on the cell phone). She needs to reconnect with you because she has missed you. She may initially be more emotional with you because she is safe with you and can release her emotions with you. Plus she should be your first priority when you get home, as opposed to chores and making dinner----in fact if you and your husband are both home you can take turns interacting with her while the other gets dinner etc.

Long, stimulating days away from mama are hard on little ones. Mine are 1 & almost 4 - and they still typically need as much undivided attention from me as possible after daycare days. It's difficult when there's dinner, etc. to get ready when when get home. I try to give them some individual attention - and do the minimum possible to get us through dinner & bedtime. Some days are worse. It will probably help as she gets adujusted to daycare and naps better.

i think that it has to do with picking it up from other children cause every since my son started hanging out with my friends son hes whining alot more than ever i personally cannot stand it either and my son is 7 !! i would just try to show her other ways of expressing her neds without whining even tough she is still young hang in there!! hopefully she will grow out of it

Is she in daycare because you're working? If so, she'll adjust in time. If not, I'd pull her out until she's ready for preschool 2 or 3 half-days.

Ive run a daycare for 18 years. Funny you mentioned this! They are so busy during the day here! And being with all their little friends! They just get wore out and when she is the only one at home, may get bored or just realize she is plain ol` tired! I hear this every day! You aren`t alone!

She may want to be part of the family rather than feeling like the "lone ranger." Sometimes the little ones feel we are running from them.
(1) When you get home you both put on aprons, (I prefer the barbecue style) then you both pull up your sleeves & get to work in the kitchen.

(2) Stand her on a chair in front of the kitchen sink (turn the chair with the chair back to her right and you stand to her left. You will have to keep an eye & leg behind her backside so she won't fall backwards. I haven't had problems with the kids falling backwards because they are stooped over the kitchen sink doing their kitchen "work."

(3) While she is standing in front of the sink, give her a plastic bowl, preferably with a handle on one side. Add a plastic mixing whip or spoon, she may be happy stirring an empty bowl. If she gets bored, toss in small plastic cup into the bowl & let her attack that for a while. You can decide if & when you want to give her a few frozen peas to stir. They will fly when they are stirred!!

(4) This activity may be best when she's age 2, but you know your child so it's up to you. Pour an inch or two of warm water in the sink add a few plastic bowls, cups or dolly dishes and let her wash dishes. Place a bath towel on her chair seat and another on the floor under her chair & under your feet. (Cuts down on either of you slipping on the wet floor.) She will happily help you mop the floor when you're finished. You may both end up wet & happy!

You can start dinner while standing next to her. If she wants to help, let her stir what your stirring etc... (within reason.) I believe I have an old post that lists other toddler kitchen helper ideas.

I am wishing you a fun time in the kitchen for many years to come.
A.