Where Should My Son Be?

I would not worry about it. Boy's develop at a slower rate than boys. I have a 4 yr. old boy that knows his shapes and colors. He can recognize on Letter and write it and that is the First letter of his name. I run a daycare and do preschool program we discuss letters and sounds numbers and counting. My son is not interested in this stuff right now.
I'm not worried about it he memorize books and pretends to read them he will develop these skills when he is ready. He is very active and has no interest.. Don't worry he will gain the skills when he is ready.. Every child is different.

As far as the hard headedness goes (and believe me I have been there) the key is to focus on teachable moments as they come along and sneak it in without it seeming like you are practicing letters or writing. Focus on one letter at a time here and there throughout the day. Use his name as a springboard for learning letters. Have him sign his name on a letter to Grandma, etc. Preschool is also great because often they will do things for their preschool teachers that they won't do for mom at home.

Absolutely he should. My now 5 year knew his letters and numbers by 3. Pick up a copy of the LeapFrog letter factory video... it's great. He'll learn his letters and their sounds (which he should also know) quickly.

Get a dry erase board and practice each night. It's fun...

a great website for learning letters is starfall.com

my 2 year old knows almost all of his letters from the starfall website.

howver his 3 year old sister is not interested in letters she likes having tea parties for her teddie bears...

my son is much more of a pleaser child my daughter has her own agenda -- your son is fine..

see if he is interested in the starfall website.

he is just 4...

Hi S. -
According to the American Academy of Peds website your little guy sounds like he's on track. Check it out... http://www.aap.org/publiced/BK0_DevMile_4-5Yrs.htm

I laugh when others tell people that their kids are behind schedule... Why? Everyone develops differently. Some kids WANT to do all this stuff at age 3, others not till 4 or closer to 5... But the "late" ones excell at different subjects.

I can tell you that once at about 5 the schools will tell you that they need to know their abc's upper and lower case, their sounds, recognition, and writing them. Along with their colors and shapes... Until then he's good!!! Now you know to work on those in the next year or so. No pressure. :-)

I am a mom of a 3.5 year old boy (with tons of energy) and I used to be a preschool teacher. I would NOT say he is behind. I'd say he is a boy. Infact most homeschoolers would tell you not to be worried until he is 7 or 8. It is just that 'schools' expect more at a younger age.

Go to the library and get him
Leap Frog Letter Factory DVD
and
Rock n learn Alphabet.

Have him watch it a few times and he should understand it all better.

He just may need a little extra time and exposure to it as well as learning in a fun way.

I certainly would NOT worry about him at this point.

Hi S.,
I wouldn't worry about where your son is academically just yet as long as he is going to preschool this fall and you continue to read to him daily and play counting games and such with him. Also, games like Memory, Connect 4, and others will teach him to think, which will in turn, help him with his ABC's and 123's. The library also has free programs for kids his age that are a lot of fun. You could check out new books each time you go. Reading to him a couple times daily is just so important. He has a whole year before kindergarten. You will be surprised how much he can learn this year!

Dear S.,
Here is a list of some milestones that 4 year olds should be reaching. Not all kids are the same, I wouldn't panic. I would consider providing a "print rich" home environment as another person commented. I would also provide teachable moments. Boys may not be all into sitting and writing letters (though asking them to do so isn't an all bad idea) however, it may be more fun to write letters w/ him in his sandbox or get some shaving cream and let him play with it, and also write letters/numbers in that.

The scribbling thing isn't that big of a deal, as long as his grip on the crayon, marker, whatever is the same as it should be for a 4 year old. Look up "Pencil grip" on google and see if your son holds the pencil correctly as that is something that is a fine motor skill and also impacts future handwriting and the such.

I wouldn't stress about it, just keep an eye on it and definitely find ways to incorporate learning into play. A book or two from a teacher store might give you some really good ideas!

Milestones: 4-Year-Olds

Motor Development: Gross Motor Skills

* running is more controlled; can start, stop, and turn
* turns somersaults; hops on one foot; gallops
* can easily catch, throw, and bounce a ball
* can brush teeth, comb hair, wash, and dress with little assistance

Motor Development: Fine Motor Skills

* copies crosses and squares
* prints some letters
* uses table utensils skillfully
* cuts on a line

Language and Thinking Development

* uses a 1,500-word vocabulary; speaks in relatively complex sentences ("Mommy opened the door and the dog ran out.")
* understands words that relate one idea to another - if, why, when
* continues to learn through experience and the senses
* understands, mostly, the difference between fantasy and reality
* understands number and space concepts - more, less, bigger, in, under, behind
* thinks literally; starting to develop logical thinking
* begins to grasp that pictures and symbols can represent real objects
* starts to recognize patterns among objects - round things, soft things, animals
* grasps the concepts of past, present, and future but does not understand the duration of time

Social and Emotional Development

* takes turns, shares, and cooperates
* expresses anger verbally rather than physically
* can feel jealousy
* may sometimes lie to protect herself, but understands the concept of lying
* enjoys pretending and has a vivid imagination

My daughter will be 4 in September. Doesn't recognize any of her letters and only very few numbers. She does count and she knows her shapes and colors. I think your son sounds a lot like my daughter. I wouldn't worry!

S.; sometimes kids are capable to do these things but they have just not had the oppportunity to do them ,when my son was small the dr said he is not rolling over yet, i said its probably because i dont put him down, he was my 3rd, and his two older brothers always did some thing to him once down, like putting pillows over him etc, so because i did not put him down as much as he should of been he did not do what he could of done, today we as parents get busy and dont teach them or have time to or do we have time sometimes to sit and color with them, buy him a coloring book, and crayons and sit with him and color, they also have preschool books for the alphabet and things, he can simply learn some of these things if you incorporate them into his day, while cooking sing the abc's, or while he eats cereal, sit with him and point to the letters on the box. or say do you want some milk, M,I,L,K milk, or write his name down and show him each letter, when he wants to play , give him a crayon and some paper , see what he makes, let him scribble on paper, this helps with his motor coordination, kids love to learn and they usally can do so quickly, keep at this for along time, if he sees you doing it he may also pick it up very fast, just keep teaching your child, and being there for him, he should be able to get it soon, D. s

I would agree with Faye : not knowing numbers and letters at 4 is not a real delay ( note that singing does not reflect understanding of what letters/numbers mean). If your son is in preschool even a couple days a week and still does not know letters/numbers it would be more worrisome but if he never "worked" on that he's just probably not interested right now.

My son is 4 and learned letters/numbers at school. He loves doing little games where he has to find "who has more", "who has less" "what's next" in a pattern (or just count how many peas he eats !), he got a lot better at coloring this year but was not at all interested before (probably because his fine motor skills are getting better now !)

BUT your pediatrician should have pinpointed to you what exactly he considers a delay. Is it just letters/numbers or something else ? What does he recommend ?
For your peace of mind you may want to have your son evaluated, call your school district about that !
If he actually a little behind, the sooner it's taken care of the better and the easier it is !

I don't think your son is behind. My son will turn 4 in a few weeks. He does recognize his ABC's and a few numbers but he goes to preschool a few mornings a week during the school year and they work with him on that stuff. He does not write at all yet and also just scribbles. I would try doing some flashcards with him...he will pick up on the alphabet very quickly doing that. I would not worry though, each child develops differently.

If you are in the Plymouth Canton School District, call ###-###-#### to apply for the PLUS free preschool program for 4 year old children. It is incredible! Otherwise, I would recommend that you call your local school district for information on what they offer or call Headstart in your area and get him into a program this fall.

I don't think your son is behind at all. My six-year-old could only recognize a very few letters and numbers at that age, if any, and learned everything in kindergarten this year. Now he's doing brilliantly. you have to remember that all children are difference and reading and writing are definitely one of those things that come later to some children. My 11-year-old was exactly the same. He is a straight A student, always on the honor list at middle school, and has has numerous academic awards. When he left 5th grade his teacher told me his reading was college level - he reads and understands everything. He's also in the highest group for math. I think your son will be just fine - and he sounds completely on target to me - good luck - Alison

I'm not sure what your ped means by 'behind schedule'. They see a lot of kid's and know the range or when they should know their abic's and 123's. So I have to wonder if he saw some other thigs that maybe weren't on the target age, like fine and gross motor skill development, that can affect learning. Did they give you a plan of action? If your son is in preschool, ask that he be evaluated, it has to be provided to you if you ask for it. This is the perfect age to catch any lags in development, and can be treated in school, before they get to kindergarten and you find that they are too far behind and need to repeat kindergarten. I realize that is maybe taking this too far in the future, but that is the outcome if you ped is right. I'm not trying to scare you, but you nmight want to talk to you ped and see if he meant that your son needs to be evaluated, or just worked on by you and then see in a couple of months.

You can relax! I work in a Kindergarten class where at the beginning of the year some of the kids were in the same place as your boy. By the end (as they were 6) they could all read and write just fine.

What ever you are doing to teach him is great! Awesome results! Just keep encouraging him and it will happen. If he wants to write, but is struggling with the pencil, try a fatter pencil or a grip and workbooks that he can trace. (If money is an issue, write things for him with a highliter and he can trace that!) Start with shapes and angles. It could be just what he needs to be interested!

Have fun. They are only this age for a moment in time!

S.

You need to remember that the guidelines that the doctor goes by are a generalization for "MOST" children at his age. Some children will far exceed the guideline and there will be some children below the guideline. All children develop at their own pace and one child should not be compared to another child. I personally think that your son is just fine. There are too many people today who think that if there child is not reading and writing by the time that they enter Kindergarten that their child is behind and that is not so. The most important thing for a child of your son's age is to play and have fun all of the learning will come later.

I wouldn't worry about it. My son is also energetic. He didn't have an interest in any of that stuff. I couldn't get him to sit down and do anything. My suggestion is a free pre-school program at Wexford. They are half days for four year olds. They are Montessori which means they do more hands on learning than book work. They make learning fun for the kids. My son went from refusing to pick up a pen to reading in one year. My son wouldn't color or draw or anything and now he writes me letters. I don't worry about trying to get him to do worksheets or anything anymore. Now I follow their advise and just play with blocks and read to him. Some kids are going to be stubborn and if they think they are being managed will dig in their heals. Besides I think back to when I was starting kindergarten and we didn't know our ABC's. All we knew was the song and how to count to ten and how to tie our own shoes. Sometimes I think we forget that childhood is supposed to be fun for kids.

when my daughter was 4, she could spell her first name, and she knew all her letters in upper case. it wasn't untill after preschool she could write all of them, though sometimes they were backwards. she knew all her colors and shapes too. my daughter wasn't a good colorer untill kindergarten, now she stays in the lines and does a very good job. but remeber boys and girls are very different.

he needs to go to preschool and I believe hes fine. alot of times pediatricians don't get each kid develops different and they think one way than really how things are. But also as a parent we don't like to hear there opinion. I would put him in preschool that will help him not only learn but also how kindergarten is for the following year. Or you could home school him by going to borders or barnes and noble and get preschool book that show or have them do things as if they where in preschool. Also you can show him the letters by flash cards leap frog has a alpha frog or you can go ahead and get the magnets for the fridge they are alphabets and when you put the letter into the squae it signs a song about the letter.

All kids learn at their own pace. My oldest is a wiz kid and is always wanting to learn something new. My youngest wasn't as willing but she's getting there.

My youngest daughter will be 4 in August. She can write her name, recognizes all her letters and numbers, can identify letter sounds, can WRITE all of her letters and numbers (though not perfect S, 2 and 5), knows all her basic shapes and can draw most of them, can color and manage to mostly stay in the lines, draws pictures of people and things like flowers and houses, she knows all of her colors including grey and brown, and much more.

I don't know if she's advanced at all but I do think that he should be able to at lest regognize the letters from his name and should at least know the difference between a letter and a number and should know at least a few numbers.

While he will learn to write in pre-school, it's not a bad idea to start having him practice writing at least his name just to give him a basic start. Begin with the first letter for a few days...he'll probably get bored after a few minutes so you'll need more than a day for him to learn it. If he shown NO interest in trying to write you can try making letters out of clay or play dough or even making them by arranging his toys around to look like letters. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the leap frog fridge phonics...costs around $25 or $30 but it's WELL worth the price. Teaches letters, letter sounds, and if you get the word whammer it teaches to put sounds together in three letter words. The Leapfrog Letter Factory video is great too. My oldest daughter LOVES the television and watched this video all the time...she's 6 now and has been reading since she was 4. Small words at first graduating to full sentences at 5.5 years. Now SHE reads ME books!

Also, there is a great website I take my kids to, my friend who is a teacher gave it to me. They have a great section for the abc's. Starfall.com is the website, and it's free.

Happy Learning and don't fret just yet, there is still plenty of time for him to learn!!!

As you have heard many times, children develop at their own rate. However, there are certain milestones, but you cannot make your son achieve them. You can help though by putting the alphabet letters on his favorite characters as well as the shapes, etc. Four year olds need to rote count to 20 but one to one count to 10. Singing the slphabet song does not show that he recognizes the letters just the sequence. Create a print rich environment in his room and anywhere else that you will not mind the labels. Play learning games with him; if you have a computer, there are many ones out there that will enrich his learning and are fun. Do not make learning these things drudgery however. Learning games can be a simple as playing hopscotch with chalked letters or letter people drawn on the sidewalk. Be creative as possible. Take the lead from your son as to what interests him and make it a learning game with letters, numbers and/or shapes, etc. I have been a preschool teacher for 10+ years and have raised four highly functioning children. Perhaps he knows more than he is willing to share. Children at that age can hide what they know well; also their learning comes in big leaps. Wait and watch.

All kids develop differently. I'm surprised your pediatrician would say that! My cousin's baby was ten months before he started to crawl, but he could talk and talk very well. She was told he was working on his vocabulary and not his skill to crawl. So maybe your son has been doing things like that.

Seems like a child would know his alphabet, but if he's not in a setting to learn it then it's not like that's soomething that comes naturally. I don't think he has to recognize letters and numbers until he goes to kindergarten and even then he doesn't have to recognize all of them before school! Does your school district have a DK program? Maybe you could look into that. It's usually only a couple of 1/2 days a week and would help prepare him for kindergarten next year. And/or you could begin working with him yourself. Get some educational "cartoons" or some books. He'll have a short attention span at his age, but if you do it for a short perioed of time and make it a regular habit, as well as fun, then he'll catch on.

But, going by what you said, I would think he's not so far behind that you need to be worried.