When Will I Know It Is Time to Try for a Baby?

I think you should have your fiance say something to his side of the family. It could be as simple as "We know how babies are made guys so no more pointers please and when WE are ready we will have a child." I don't think you should have a child until you discuss some things with your soon to be husband. He needs to sit down and have a conversation with you about the timing of having children. The fact that he doesn't give a clear answer and basically says whatever you want would bother me if I were you. Children aren't just a whatever you want kind of thing. And, you two really need to be on the same page about how you want to bring up the child so, again, you need to have an honest open discussion. How does your fiance feel about possibly having a special needs child? What about you? Daycare or stay-at-home-parent? There are so many things to consider when you are thinking about starting a family. Tell your fiance's family (or have him do it) that you and he have some things to discuss and plan before starting a family and that you would appreciate if they would stop the have a baby mantra. Good luck.

When they drop hints, say, "Oh, yeah, won't that be so great when we're ready to have a baby someday?" If they don't drop it right then, say something like, "Yeah, he'll be a great dad" or "You're just going to love being a grandpa, aren't you?" Talk about it all in general terms, and always in the future. If you keep repeating yourself with these phrases, they'll likely back off.
I would, however, talk very seriously about this with your fiancee. Make sure he wants children, and that you agree generally on a time frame. It dos'nt have to be specifics, but his evading answers could mean he's afraid to tell you something, like that he actually doesn't want kids or something. And you should know that NOW, not after the wedding.

Don't have kids because someone else thinks you need to. You guys need to do it when YOU are ready. And frankly, you don't owe them any kind of response because it's really not their business. Smile and nod if you want to. Or tell them, "yep, we can't wait to have kids" and know in your mind that that is 5 years from now. You are 21-enjoy your youth and enjoy your marriage for a few years. Soon enough, it will be ALL about the kids and not about you 2 at all. Enjoy the time you have & make memories so you can think foundly of them while you are sitting home together on a Friday night watching Dora or Elmo with your wonderful Toddler!! :)

I agree with Susie, you need to have a response to their comments. If they aren't getting the hint, then you need to be perfectly clear about the stress that their pressure about having children is causing you. You can acknowledge their desire for having a new baby in the family, but that you and your fiance will begin your family when YOU two are ready to.

You are only 21! It doesn't matter how old he is - YOU are the only one on a biological time clock - and you've got over 20 years to make a family!

You also need to spend time as a married couple, enjoying your time together building a relationship, having fun, growing together, and developing the strong foundation of a family that is necessary before adding the stress of a newborn (and young children) to your lives.

Talk to your fiance and let him know that the pressure from his family about having children is really stressing you out. See if he'll talk to them for you. Hopefully he will step up to the job and support you - as it will soon be his responsibility to do so as your husband. If he doesn't - well, that's a whole other advice column - just don't allow yourself to be a doormat.

The decision to have a child is between a man and a woman, NOT their parents, siblings, neighbors and the guy down the street.

You are very young and there is no need to rush into having a child. Remember even though you and your finance have been together for awhile, you still need time to adjust to be a married couple before bringing a child into your lives. You mentioned you have different views on rasing kids, how different? This will not magically fall into place. They are things you need to discuss and agree upon before having a child togehter, not after the child is born.

The only time limit you have is your biological one, which is good for another 20+ years.