Hi mamas, hoping you all can provide some perspective. We have always planned to have our daughter attend our neighborhood public school for elementary school (k-6) and then move on to Christian schools for middle and high school. She is just finishing up 5th grade. So here's the problem. I just found out that the Christian school's middle school is 6-8, so we should technically move her there next year.
I'm wondering what will be harder- having her finish 6th grade at the elementary school she's in and then start at Christian school for 7th grade, where it might be harder to make friends because they've already been together for a year. Or start at Christian school for 6th grade with everyone else and have her maybe be upset that she left her friends and didn't finish up at elementary school.
She is actually being surprisingly good about the whole thing. We toured the Christian school and she loves it. She did say she would rather finish 6th grade with her friends and then move, but I've heard her talking to her friends and telling them she might be at the new school for 6th and she doesn't say anything bad about it. I also realize she is 11 and she has her preference and is being a little short-sided, not worrying about making friends in 7th. I guess I ultimately fear that if she moves for 6th, she'll sit in her new school thinking "all my friends are at another school", but if she waits untl 7th, she'll be saying "I have no friends because they all got a year 'head start'". I don't know. Anyone have experience with this or can tell me about making friends at this age?
Help!!!
I switched from a private school in one town to another private school in another town in 8th grade. The school I switched to started in 7th grade.
I did feel that everyone had already made friends and I didn't start feeling like I fit in until my freshman year. That first year was hard since I came in later than everyone else.
I would add another thing to think about. Friends aside (because honestly, even in 7th grade, she's going to be missing her old friends... and they'll probably all be in public middle school together)...
The Christian school is designed with 6th grade as the introductory year to middle school. That means 6th grade is the year they help kids transition from elementary to middle... 6th grade is the year the supports will be built in... they'll teach her to use her locker, change for gym, move from class to class, etc.
If she starts there in 7th grade, I'm sure she'll cope, but she'll be behind the curve in terms of these school structures as well.
Hope this helps.
T.
Being a former 6th grade teacher at a Private school, I am going to vote for moving her now and having her start 6th grade at the Christian school. 6th grade is a BIG transition year! Lockers, switching classes, interest in BOYS, developing bodies, ect... If you are moving her to a Christian school because of the more controlled environment, I would do it now. If you look at the big picture and these are the kids she;ll be graduating 8th grade and highschool with, I'd have her begin to nuture those friendships now. Beginning in 7th could set the tone for the next 6 years...
Middle school is a tank of pirañas. Have her start in 6th.
I went to a private school that had a 6-8 middle school. It was easier for those who started in 6th than those who moved over in the 7th. This was partly because friendship circles get set quickly in a small school, and partly because the kids were used to the teachers and routine (which were very differnt than elem. school) by the time they hit 7th.
I would transfer schools this year. The younger kids are the easier they adjust and the easier it is for them to make new friends. Also, in my experience, middle school is the most socially difficult time during the school years. That is when groups of friends are formed, when the kids really start to pair off according to their interests and such. I think it would be easier for her to find her place with friends if she transfers at 6th grade rather than waiting until 7th grade. And there will probably be kids that she knows transferring too, so the adjustment won't be too hard. I wouldn't wait another year, but transfer schools at 6th grade.
No questions in my head. She should move for 6th grade if that is the school she will be going to. Not only for the friend issue, for the education. It will be different at a private school, they might learn things at different times than the public school so the sooner she switches the less she will have to catch up on. I had friends transfer to a christian school and had to do private tutoring to get them prepared for the different subjects.
Have you considered saving the tuition for college and just letting her continue into her middle school and high school?
The reason I ask is that here in our neighborhood, many, many parents did as you and sent their kids to private MS. The kids then went on to the neighborhood High School..
Many of these parents told me they realized that their kids probably would have done just as well in the public middle school, because their kids were good kids. They had just worried that they had heard so many horror stories about our middle school.
The truth of the matter is that a good academic student will be placed in the classes that fit their level of learning. The kids that are the trouble makers are usually not in the higher academic classes.
Sure some of the Art classes PE Band, Choir are homogenized, but the good kids learn very quickly which kids to avoid.
I think in (I actually know) many of these parents were concerned about the kids that attend our middle school that do not look like their children or come in from other neighborhoods. Once again, Those kids may look different from ours, but are just like ours in that most of them are great kids, most are great students, but the very few trouble makers, make "that" group look bad...
I was PTA Pres at the middle school and discovered that there were about 9 or 10 kids in the entire school campus that were what I would call trouble makers. Some of these kids had emotional problems and some of them Meet their parents and you would know why. These students were kept on a tight leash and the other students, tended to just avoid these kids.. Isn't that we want our kids to learn? Most of these kids, came from the more affluent families in our schools..
It is just a thought. I have always told parents to do what is best for their children, but I do also find it difficult to watch families spend money thinking somehow because they paid more for it it will be somehow better.
Now that our child is in private college, I think of the thousands of dollars these parents spent on those few years, when in college, it would have helped pay for entire college tuition for 2 - 4 years.
In every school there are trouble makers, just teach your child how to stay out or away from these kids.
I would definately do it now.
It will be a lot easier for her starting at a new school when it's a new school for everyone else in her grade too.
She'll miss her old friends, but maybe you can arrange for her to get together with them weekends.
If she started the new school in 7th grade, she'd still miss her old friends, and she'd have the challenge of forming new friendships when all the kids there already know eachother.
Best wishes :)
I'd switch now, but not because of the friend issue. Most the kids will have been there for most or all their education, so already know each other. However, middle school is very different than elementary, and she needs to be there in 6th grade when the teachers are expecting the kids to need grace, not in 7th when they expect the kids to be used to middle school. GL! I hope she transitions well!
I went to a Christian school that had the "middle school" as 6-8th grade (I didn't transfer though, I was there K-8). Anyway, at the private school, the 6-8 grade classes were in a separate wing of the school all on their own. It seemed more "exclusive" when I was younger, because that was the "big kids section" and they had their own lockers and everything.
What are the plans for high school? Will she be rejoining her friends at a public school, or going to a Christian high school? That might be something to take into consideration, because if she's going to rejoin her friends anyway, I'd have no problem letting her stay at her current school for 6th grade. But, if she's going to be going to a Christian high school, I'd switch her this year.
I'd definitely start her at the new school in 6th grade. She sounds as if she has a great attitude about it and is looking at the switch in a positive way. She can always stay in touch with her current friends as she makes new ones, and she won't be the newbie in 7th grade to all the kids who have spent the first year of middle school together.
Another vote for 6th grade.
:)
I am doing the same thing with my son, he'll be spending the last year of his grade in a different school before he goes up to the next grade. I figured it's bigger of a change to change grade altogether than to change school/mates within the same grade. I am positive he'll react well because I put it like making new friends, doing new fun things etc... and his looking forward to it. Try not to show your anxiety about the change, she'll do fine.
