When to Start Shaving Daughters Legs

Updated on October 06, 2009
K.W. asks from Wyandotte, MI
29 answers

HI Mom's I have been wondering lately and I guess I'm not the only one as my friends have been asking also, when should you start having your daughter shave her legs. My daughter is 9 and in 4th grade, her legs are hairy but it is still blonde. I asked her if anyone says anything to her and she said only two of her friends have commented on them. I do remember though one girl in 2nd grade teased her about them. Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to all the responses. I will wait until she asks to do it, I remember myself that I started shaving in 5th and my Mom was very upset, My SIL told me that it was time and my Mom, who never shaved hers was also trying to get me to hold off. I was just curious to see what everyone else thought about it, I just want to make sure that she knows that when she thinks the time is right I will be there to help her out!

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T.K.

answers from Detroit on

I also would love to know to how to handle this my daughter is 7 with very dark long leg hair!!
T. K.

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S.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My very last day of 5th grade, I discovered that 3 of my friends were shaving their legs, so I went right home, got in the tub, and did it myself. I still have the scar on my shin, but I was so proud.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

If she is feeling self conscious about it, then start now. If not wait until its important to her. Its a habit that she'll need to be able to keep up on her own, so don't jump the gun. However, the last thing you want is for her to feel like she's hairy.

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

I think that going into 6th grade is reasonable, i remeber i first shaved my legs after 5th grade ended and it was summer going into 6th. my mom wasn't very happy though i didn't talk to her first about it.

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H.B.

answers from Grand Rapids on

why do you care what a 7 year old says? one day she will shave her own legs, and tell you about it, y force the issue?

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Any fourth grader who's so in to looks to the point that she looks for flaws and imperfections in others, 1. has problems, 2. is being pushed by someone she looks up to that looks are everything.

9 years is a little young, really. I would consider 7th grade is soon enough. That's when the concerns of a teen start to hit. Depending on if your school system starts middle school at 6th or 7th.

But don't let your sweetie get 'guilted' or 'shamed' into doing things. For one, it takes fortitude to stand up against others' snooty opinions, and for another doing things you don't want just because someone tries to talk you into it can lead to other poor life changing decisions.
Put yourself in her shoes, share sound principles, give her something to live by.

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S.N.

answers from Detroit on

When she decides she is ready to. My daughter will be 12 in a couple days and has no desire to. I ask every few months if she is interested and she says nope. She is also a total tomboy so doesn't care about girly stuff as much as your daughter may. I will let her decide, IF she even does! Her body, her comfort. When she is ready just don't use the hair removal creams as I have heard many doing. Those are such harsh chemicals being absorbed into the body.
Good luck and don't worry:)

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L.B.

answers from Detroit on

Wow, there are quite a few very opinionated mommies out there!
I just waited until my daughter asked me. She is really a hairy child too! When gym class started in the 6th grade she asked. We used Veet then moved to a flicker and then to a razor and raspberry shaving cream a month later. We really bonded over the moment too. Both of us sitting on the tub with our feet and legs in as I showed her where to be careful and such. Lotions and pedicure things came next. We made a night of it. My husband still pokes fun! Becoming a woman is usually the pits for girls, but we managed to turn this into a laugh. GOOD LUCK. Just when the both of you are ready, go for it.

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J.M.

answers from Detroit on

I do not have much for advice, I,too am in a dilemma my daughter is in 6 grade. I also wonder what to use her friend uses a lotion?? My daughter has dishwater blonde on her legs. We have argued about it. I think when we go on our vacation to the beach (whenever that will be) I will let her then.

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L.C.

answers from Saginaw on

Eventually, your daughter will notice that women shave their legs and she'll want to join in. Before that, you're adding unnecessary pressure to conform to things she's not aware of yet... and are not 'necessary' to conform with, anyhow.

It may help to know that Julia Roberts has never (and vows that she will never) shave her underarms. Not everyone agrees that beautiful humans are hairless from the neck down.

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J.K.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My daughter was in the same situation. I got her an electric razor around the age of 10. She is 12 now and I still won't let her use a disposable razor in the shower. I just don't feel comfortable that she won't cut her self. The electric razor is quick and easy and she can't cut herself and she shaves her legs maybe once a week - but that is more because I think she enjoys "feeling older".

I was reading the other mom's response - I just want to comment every person is different and there is no magical age for anything. If you feel it is time than it is time. My daugther just started 7th grade. She has some friends who reached puberty in 4th grade and some who still aren't quite there yet. You can't really make a decision based on age or grade - every girl develops differenty and as a parent you will know when it is right for your daugther. My doctor told me that the new norm for girls to start changes associated with puberty is closer to 10 and 11 where it used to be 13. With all the hormones in the foods kids eat and drink thier bodies are developing sooner than they used to. It is important for you and your daugther to tackle the changes to her body as they are occuring rather than be concerned with what other people are doing. Introducing new routines (such as shaving) to your daughter a little at a time will be easier on your daughter rather than waiting for "the right" moment to introduce everything at once that could become overwhelming.

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D.C.

answers from Detroit on

Have her use Nair supervised. I wouldn't let her use the razor. No specific age necessarily because everyone matures differently.

I hope this helps!

~D.
www.connercoaching.com

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P.N.

answers from Detroit on

I have three daughters...23, 17, 15 years old. My mother was very upset when I decided to let them shave. Needless to say, I let them shave when they felt they were ready. I also explained that once you start, you will need to maintain. But, all three were fine and I didn't make a big deal out of it.

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L.A.

answers from Detroit on

I would make sure she is confident in herself. As a parent, I make sure my daughter knows that she is beautiful just the way she is and doing all that extra stuff like shaving of legs is optional and not important. If I were you, I would harp on it or ask too many questions about it because she may become self conscious about something that is totally natural. I believe when she is ready to take that step, she will come to you and ask if she can shave. Age 9, in my opinion, is too young to even be thinking about shaving. My daughter expressed a desire to shave at age 10. I discouraged it and told her to wait until she was 12. Now that I think about it, I desired to shave my legs at age 11. I tried it at that age and then stopped when someone told me it would make the hair grow back thicker. That scared me so I didn't shave again until I was 16 or 17---LOL!

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D.G.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I just asked my daughter who's going to be 13 on Halloween if she shaved her legs yet, she said no. The hair on her legs are a light blonde so she probably really doesn't need to yet. She told me she didn't want to shave them yet. She has been shaving her underarms for nearly a year now though, I know this because I showed her how.

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T.R.

answers from Jackson on

My daughter and I were both 9.

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K.M.

answers from Detroit on

I would wait till she starts her maturity period. Like when she starts her period and wears deodarant and than I would start her doing that. I actually just thought the same thing the other day about when shoud I have my 9 year old start I figured I wait till she gets her period than she should be old enough to not really hurt herself with the razor.

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E.J.

answers from Detroit on

I went through the same issue with my now 11 year old daughter. I waited until last year when she was 10 because she was so self-conscious about it and also because she participates in competitive cheer. The first few times I shaved her legs for her and then she quickly got the hang of it and now does it herself (as well as her underarms). My advice is to make your decision based on cues from your daughter. If it is really affecting her self-esteem I wouldn't wait for a magic age number, it just so happens that for my daughter 10 was the right time. Good luck!

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N.F.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Its to funny you are asking this because i was just talking about this subject the other day. My daughter is 9 and in the 4th grade also. She does have dark hair on her legs, but as you should know as soon as you start doing it you have to keep doing it. I let her start shaving her armpits this summer, but told her she needs to wait a couple more years for her legs. It takes alot of responsibility and i just don't think shes ready for it yet. ( I hate having to do it everyday! lol) I don't think my mom let me till i was like 11 or so. I really wouldn't push it unless its really making her uncomfortable. Hope i've helped:)

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J.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My daughter is ten and has very dark hair that bothered her. Our compromise was to get the hair removal cream you put on then wipe off with a sponge in the shower. This has worked great for her. She does it periodically to keep up but it is not like having to shave often. This is a great solution.

Good Luck!

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

9 or 10. If she wants to, I would let her. Just tell her to let you know when she feels like she needs to, when she notices that other girls are etc. At her age, you don't want her to feel bad if other girls are shaving and she is not. You also don't want to make her feel like she NEEDS to follow the crowd, just that you want her to feel comfortable. I shaved in 5th grade on my own. My mom never talked to me about it and I have dark hair. One day at school one of my friends pointed out the hair on my legs. I went home and shaved that day and got horrible razor burn because I did not know how to do it. I wish someone would have talked to me about it and gave me a choice.

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C.Q.

answers from Detroit on

When she is ready, she will do it.

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A.R.

answers from Detroit on

when i first read your question, my initial reaction was that she's way too young for shaving! but reading through the comments i think jill is right - it should be a decision made together when SHE is ready...no magic age!

the way the question is worded - "when should you start having your daughter" is a bit odd...no pressure should be put on your daughter!! only if she WANTS to...

now this is coming from someone who rarely shaves! i remember being told by my mom if you waited, the hair would get thinner...but if you started shaving, it would grow in thicker and fuller! now i know she was trying to scare me...but i swear - above my knees now has no hair!! i never shaved there...maybe it's true?? ha ha!!

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L.C.

answers from Detroit on

I would just wait until she asks. Let her know that you're open to the idea.

I started shaving in 5th grade when I went through puberty. I had very dark hairy legs and my friends would tease me about it. I wish my mom would have let me shave earlier.

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A.S.

answers from Lansing on

I remember needing/wanting to shave my legs when I was in Elementary school and my Mom told me I had to wait until I was 13. That sounds so funny now because why would you put an age on something like that. Everybody develops differently. Needless to say, I snuck behind her back and learned to shave myself and did it anyway. I think I was in 5th grade then and probably 10 years old. My oldest daughter is 12 and in 7th grade. I think she was in about 4th grade when she wanted to start shaving. So I showed her how and talked to her about it. She probably actually only shaved about twice that year. Ha Ha. I've actually noticed that it was just this year (2-3 yr later) that she really started to make sure and shave. Also, I should add that I'm not one of those people that believe if you shave your hair will grow in thicker or darker. My hair is still as fine and as blonde as it always was. I guess I'm just fortunate in that area. I think those that have more coarse, dark hair and have to shave often would have to no matter when they begun shaving.

Basically, I say let her. :)

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D.J.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,

I've been shaving under my arms since I was 7 years old and shaving my legs regularly since I was 16. I started shaving under my arms because baby powder and deoderant was no longer cutting it! My mom acutually did it for me until I was able to get the hang of it. I started shaving my legs on my own because I didn't like the look of it anymore. Allow your daughter to make that decision on her own. When she does start (if she does), let her use Nair and not a shaver. It's easier on her skin, and she won't have to worry about cuts. Also her stubble won't be as blunt when it grows back.

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S.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

HI K. i know you are confused and at forth grade is not a good time I made my daugthter shave when she was in 7th cause that was when her hair started to turn black. that was the best i could do! sorry

J.M.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter was 11 almost 12 when WE decided.First it was her armpits but her legs was a big decision.I decided that it was easier to use the hair removal cream other then letting her use a razor. Yes other girls will tease other girls but don't let that be a reason to do it.If the hair is light leave it! I do think 9 is a bit too young.My daughter has darker hair and it really was just around the ankle area. Now that she's 13 we do the whole lower leg.I choose removal cream and I love it.She has no reaction to it and we do it maybe once or twice a month.Decide whats best for you and your daughter dicuss it together and dont let anyone tell you if your wrong or right!

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

Boy, do I remember those days! I was very fair skinned and very dark hair, and very hairy! I was so self -conscience about it, and peers commented me on it, and it so bothered me. Age is irevelant. The time to have her start hair removal, is when she is old enough to be self conscience about it and it bothers her. It doesn't matter if her hair is light or dark, if it bothers her and she feels bad about it, get rid of it! This is totally doable and makes her feel good about herself. Get her an electric shaver, they make them wet/dry now. If it does't bother her,then don't worry about it. She might not be at that stage yet. But believe me, she will be, and you will know, so don't push it. I don't believe there is a magic age, it all happens when they start to develop, which is a range of ages.

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