When to Start Kindergarten - Purchase,NY

Unless the preschool noted some learning difficulties, I would never consider holding a May child back. I am a May child. There will be many kids in his class with March, April, May, even June birthdays.

Send him on.

My son's birthday is in August, and we waited until he was 6 to start kindergarten. I am so glad we did! He just wasn't ready at age 5--even his preschool teacher thought so. I have heard from many teachers and parents that boys do better starting school a little later. Look at it this way--you'll get another year at home with him. :)

He should be with the kids his age. There WILL be other kids born in May, in June, and even July and August so he'll NOT be the youngest in his class.

Let him start school with the kids his age. He'll be happier in the long run. If he's smart enough to do the school work that is for kids his age he should be in kindergarten with his peers. If he's not bright or not able to do the work then perhaps send him anyway just to see if he's able to pick up some of it then let him do kindergarten again. But maybe he'll pass and be okay.

But he should start school this fall with the other kids his age.

So he will be five years and four months when he starts K. That is perfect IMO. You would hold him back because he is small? He is not young. Maybe he will always be the smallest. Then what? Send him please. Soon we will have kids graduating high school at 20. That is if they do not drop out.

His birthday is in May not August or September. He is not even close to the cut off date so i promise you he will not be one of the youngest in kindergarten. My son is also small for his age he is 4 and wont be 5 till mid August but i plan on sending him to kindergarten anyways. If he struggles then he struggles and repeats kinder next year but i see no reason to hold him back from even trying, at least for my son that would be like telling him he is gonna fail before he even trys. However i do believe it depends on the child. My son is an extrovert, very outgoing and adapts easily to new social situations so i have no reservations about him struggling socially. Look at your child overall but in your case i would not hold him back simply because of age.

Why would you not send him? The cut off is December 1, correct? So how could he be one of the youngest? He's right in the middle.

I disagree with red-shirting. I'm sorry but no one sits in a board room and thinks that guy is not too bright, his mother should have held him back from Kindergarten for another year.

Put him in and let the learning begin.

And last time I checked, size has nothing to do with learning. If he's small now, he'll still be fairly small in a year.

I am an October baby - so I was in Kindergarten at 4. I turned out just fine!! :)

If your child is academically and socially ready... SEND HIM!!! He may feel bad that he doesn't get to go to school with his cousin and good friend, but he'll get over that it about two minutes when he makes all of his new friends.

May 8th is no where near the cut off of September 10th. If his birthday was September 8th, then maybe you should consider it... but May is four full months prior to the cut off.

For what it's worth, my two girls have birthdays in early May and they're about midway through the class in terms of birthdays. Quite a few kids won't turn six until May, June, July or even August after they finish kindergarten.

He's the youngest and smallest in his preschool class, but that doesn't mean he will always be the youngest and smallest. You say nothing about how he is doing socially, emotionally and educationally in preschool, which should be the only thing considered when debating if a child should wait another year before starting kindergarten. What do his current preschool teachers say about his readiness? If size and lateness of his birthday are the only factors here, kids grow. Don't hold him back and make him stay another year with the little kids just because he's small.
FYI-I have a June birthday, with a boy and girl born in April and one due in June. I started kindergarten short as a young 5 and was advanced academically. My kids will all start at 5 unless there is a developmental reason they aren't ready.

I taught Kindergarten at a private school before having kids. Many moons ago...but I still remember the differences between the more mature students and the not so mature students. Also, I found there were stereotypical differences between the boys and girls. It REALLY helps the boys to be on the mature side. They are more impulsive...it helps to have a little more time to curb that. I also have my own children. One girl 2 boys. I speak as a mother who has put 3 kids through kindergarten and I volunteered in classrooms...so I saw about 60 kids through those years.

I recommend waiting rather than taking a chance and maybe not having a good experience. Waiting has always shown positive emotional, physical as well as academic results.

So....here is a vote for waiting. He may feel bad now seeing others go off to school. But down the road, when the academic pressure is on...it will be better to have some maturity, impulse control and a strong foundation on his side.

Don't rush getting him into school. He has a long road ahead. Build up his confidence now...get him used to sitting quietly still for long periods of time, how to work well with others and a love of reading.

Good luck and best wishes.

Why are you expecting to hold him back? Are there any other factors going on here? Concerns via the preschool? My daughter will not be 5 til August and I'm sending her to K, even though she is just weeks under the cut off for starting school. Friend is going to "red shirt" her son because of concerns about his maturity from the preschool, but he's days off the end date, not a May birthday. You should talk to the school and the preschool. It may be that there's no reason to worry. Why do you think he needs to read before K? Why do you think he will struggle?

Rather than going by the ages in his preschool class you should go by the age recommended for K in your district. Here, a child must be 5 by October 31 so most parents don't consider holding their kids back unless they have a September/October birthday (or unless their child is delayed in some way.)
Your son doesn't sound young his preschool class sounds OLD. I have two kids with May birthdays and they are right in the middle when it comes to the ages of most of their friends and classmates (and none of my kids were reading when they started.)
Please make your decision based on your son's abilities and what his teachers recommend, not what his friends and cousin are doing. I'm sure he will be ready to go!

He is going to start K when he is 5 and turn 6 toward the end of the school year. That's all there is to it. It's not like he really has a late birthday, like Sept. 1 or something. I can't see holding him back and having him be 7 at the end of kindergarten - that will make him 19 at the end of his last year of high school. His size has nothing to do with it, his cousin being there or not being there has nothing to do with it. It's about when they turn 5, plain and simple (and for what it's worth, my stepson turned 18 at the start of his senior year and it's all his mother can do to convince him to finish school and graduate, since at 18, he could choose to drop out if he wanted).

My daughter has an August birthday and turned 5 2 weeks before starting kindergarten this year. She knew her alphabet (upper and lower case), she could count to 20, and she could write her name. That was about it - she really wasn't reading much on her own, but we read together every night and she had been going to preschool for 2 years. She was more than ready and she's done great. And she will probably always be one of the youngest kids in the class, but somebody has to be. If he truly had a late birthday and had some issues with maturity and social skills, then maybe. But IMHO this whole "redshirting" kindergarteners has gotten out of hand. In MI our cut-off date is Dec. 1 but our school district does have a program for kids with birthdays between Sept. 1 and Dec. 1 that is basically "junior kindergarten" between preschool and actual kindergarten, to help them be better prepared and catch up a little more. But I have a neighbor that wanted to do that for her son with an APRIL birthday because she wasn't sure that at 5 years and 5 months he would be ready for kindergarten. She couldn't do it, because basically her son was not eligible.

I would discuss with his preschool teacher whether he/she really thinks he is ready and what you can do now to help.

When is the cut-off? Isn't NY's cut-off December?

Being young and small doesn't mean you child won't succeed. I would focus on maturity and academics (kindergarten readiness). I would also ask his preschool teacher. She would be able to tell you how he compares to his peers. My oldest is a young boy (July 21) and is now in 2nd grade holding his own. He is also on the smaller side, but that is just genetics (I am 5' 2" and 100lbs). Holding him back a year wouldn't have made him grow.

If you think he is ready, send him. If he struggles, let him do two years of kindergarten.

I'm not really sure I understand how this could be a problem. If the cut off is September, he's a good four months ahead of the cut off.
I was an April baby and my daughter was a March baby, and it was never an issue. And I've never even heard a teacher say anything of the such for spring children. If he is 5 when school starts, then at the end of his school career, he will turn 18 in May right before graduation, which is perfect. Are you actually considering waiting a year?
Usually I hear this question with children who are summer babies and closer to the cut-off. My other two children are Aug 28 and Aug 30, so they are right there at the cut-off. I did not hold them back and so they will graduate nearly four months before their 18th birthday, and start college before they turn 18 - yikes!

We held our son out (July birthday) and my neighbor did not (May birthday). It was the best decision we ever made about his schooling. So glad we did. My friend who put her son in has had nothing but trouble. The boy was not ready to go, the preschool teachers told them he wasn't ready, he had notes sent home constantly throughout kindergarten. They moved him to a different school for first. He is now in third grade and in his third school. He still is having problems. It's not about the academics -- it's the social maturity, the ability to follow directions and sit still. I have never met anyone who said they were sorry they held their kids out. Only people who wish they had. And I understand that the biggest problems come years later -- 3rd grade and high school, when there are academic and social transitions that require maturity. I think if families are on the fence, keep them out.

Don't base it solely on his age. Is HE ready? Emotionally, socially, is he mature enough to handle kindergarten in a few months?

Look, there has to be an oldest and a youngest in the class. Your kid may very well be one of the younger ones. But if he's ready, why make him wait another year because of a number?

ETA-
Melissa is totally right. My 3rd grade daughter told me just the other day that some girls were talking about her and her BFF saying they were too tall to be third graders, that they must have been held back. My daughter is tall for her age (8) but her BFF is almost 10 (late birthday - her parents had her start K at 6). It was really upsetting to my daughter!

My kids are June and July birthdays, so they went thru the entire K year at age 5.
If he's socially mature enough to go send him. Don't base it on physical size!

In Canada the cut off is December 31st. If a child turns five in that calendar year they start kindergarten in September. If a child struggles they are never held back, they just receive and Adapted Learning Plan or and Individual Education Plan. Our school system feels that it is important for children to be with their peers. Age and size are not good indicators of how a child will do in school, and children that have not had any formal learning before kindergarten tend to catch up to the children who have by the time grade one rolls around. Back when I was a kid we still held kids back, and it was hard for those kids because we all knew that that child was a year older and they never really fit in.

May is not a late birthday and he won't be the youngest in the class. My son has a July birthday. He is 5 and is in K right now. He won't be 6 until this summer and then he will go onto 1st grade. He is on the shorter side, but he is doing great in the class. He is right where he should be. Most kindergartners do not know how to read when they start. My son didn't and just recently he has taken off with reading (with a little help with a few new words), but he is doing just fine. I do not believe in holding kids back ONLY because of their age. As long as your son is socially where he should be, then go ahead and send him to K

I know the trend now is to always hold boys back, but I don't get it. Why would you consider holding him back when he will be 5 years and 4 months at the start of school? That is the age kids are expected to be in kindergarten.
You seem to be expecting him to struggle in school. Why is that? Is he drastically behind his peers academically or socially? If he is on par with his peer group in those areas and just smaller physically, I wouldn't even consider holding him back. He may always be small, delaying his education on that basis would be ridiculous in my opinion.

For the record, my so started kindergarten this last year at four years and ten months. He is smaller than at least half of the other kids. He is doing very well. I can't imagine having held him back until he grew a few inches.

A May birthday is just fine. Some kids get sent to school with a September 9th birthday! There will be a kindergarten screening where they will see if your son may need some services when starting school and can make reccomendations to help him be ready for September. Practically no kids know how to read before they start kindergarten. They are not even expected to know their lower case letters either.

i am trying to understand why you are hesitating. I have never heard that about spring summer birthdays. but you don't mention anything academically why he should go or not go. You say he is the smartest in the class but what does it mean? My daughter was may 10 and we have never had an issue. My younger daughter is Nov. 8. The cut off here is nov 2. it was dec. 2 but it changed the year she was going and this upcoming year it will be oct. 2 and the following sept 2. it will stay that way. So the state started this thing call transitional kindergarten (TK). it is the first year they did it and it is between kindergarten and a pre-k class. The thing is she is totally reading. She gets a homework packet each week and finishes it in an hour. I think she is beyond ready for kinder. She will be doing an assessment in the next month to see if she is prepped for kindergarten. there are 31 criteria the school gave us and she can do all of them just fine. so the district is actually telling us there is a chance she will be placed in 1st grade instead of kinder depending on how she evaluates. I am totally fine with that. I feel she is totally ready for it. I tried to fight them to get her in regular kinder this year and it couldnt happen. my biggest concern is that next year she will be bored in kinder because they are literally getting almost the exact same stuff this year as they will next. Also when she turns 18 she will have almost an entire year as an adult before she graduates HS.
for you, no one knows your son better than you. Why do you feel he is not ready? Don't compare him to other kids. see if your district has criteria available to see if your child is ready. Does your district do an assessment for kindergarten readiness? Do you realize your son will be 18 when he starts his senior year in HS? depending on where you live the district may not be required or even permitted to call you if he doesnt go to school if he is already 18. personally I fear my daughter would decide not to finish HS. Especially if she is bored. Of course we will raise her with the expectation that she must graduate. but when they turn 18 there is not a whole lot you can do.

ETA: haha and right now my daughter is sitting on the toilet reading green eggs and ham!

When I was in school, you started school if/when you were either already 5 or would be by Dec. 31...so those with birthdays in Sept - Dec would start when they were 4 turning 5. Some of those would consider holding their kids back but usually didn't. When my son started school, the laws in DE had been changed to 5 by August 30 so kids with Sept - Dec birthdays would start school after they were 5 (almost 6!). We lived in Maryland at that time and they had not changed their cut-off yet so the old rules applied but they did allow the kids with those late birthdays could be held back if the parents felt the need and notified the school.

Now kids are already 5 and 6 when starting K and parents are wondering if they should hold their kids back until they are 6 turning 7...it seems crazy to me. Unless your child has developmental or learning delays, do not hold them back. From how I see it, your son is not on the edge of the cut off...July and August birthdays are.

Does your school do screenings? Our school does, and our son (July birthday and small) was recommended for their "Transitional Kindergarten." I knew he wasn't ready for Kindergarten, so I was ok with this.

He had a great year and is in Kindergarten now and doing great. He did have a classmate in preschool who is now in first grade at the same school. They've known each other since they were babies (we did a Mom/Baby group together, play group, preschool), so they were close. He brings it up every now and then and says it's not fair, but we had to do what was best for him, and waiting that year was what was best for him.

If you can take him to a screening of some kind (and evaluation from an outsider), that might really help you have a better perspective on whether or not he is ready.

I would also ask his preschool teacher. My son's preschool teacher also thought he needed an extra year, so that helped us feel better about the decision.

Good luck!!! This not an easy decision, so do what you can and follow your heart.

My kids are the oldest ... I would not change a thing. I thought October, November and December were late Birthdays? If he has a late B-Day , then, I would consider it.

My highschooler confronts issues that we never had to confront--and we have a good school system! The difficulties did not kick in w/ other kids (and mine) until 5th grade when the kids got tougher, clicks, the work load became more demanding...

Keep in mind that Kindergarten is now like 1st grade. In K around here---The kids are in reading groups, do math, etc...

Yes--Reading is huge, but, he has to be ready to read. Some kids are and some kids take more time.

Talk w/ the preschool teachers for advice. I did not listen to them. I had my kids start later.

What my highschooler does in school---I did in college. The work is harder. Kids have to hold their own socially and emotionally these days.

Ask the teachers...and see what they say. Just know that school is more demanding now.

Ask to sit in on Kindergarten this time of the year. See how it has changed from yrs ago. You know your child best.

Where we live, you had to be 5 yrs old on or before Sept 30th to start kindergarten.
Our son's birthday is end of Oct.
So he was 5 for about 2 months and then was 6 the rest of his kindergarten year.
Unless there are any earlier Oct birthdays, he's almost always the oldest/tallest in his class.
Being a little older in school has worked well for him.
While some of the younger classmates had trouble paying attention and following directions, that little extra maturity really helped him in the classroom.
Being one of the tallest meant he rarely had anyone who tried to bully him.
Not every kid needs that extra year.
Some are just ready before others.
Also - learning ahead of the class sometimes means your child will be bored - that can lead to some different acting out in class.
As far as doing what his cousin/friend do - they'll make new friends in school and you can't always count on them being in the same class.

He'll be fully five for four months before school starts...I don't see a need to hold him back. If his birthday was right before the cut off date, I would consider it, because he'd have only been 4 a few days before school starts.

Alternately, there have been a lot of studies done recently about (and it's just statistics, there are exceptions, of course) how the oldest children in the class tend to do better, all the way from K to 12. You can research a bit on these studies, and all the reasoning makes perfect sense. My birthday is in November, just after the cut off, so I was always one of the oldest in my class. I enjoyed this...I was more mature and had learned more, from the simple fact that I had had more time to do it. I got to drive as a sophomore instead of a junior, and when I was a senior, I could smoke and buy lottery tickets. Obviously not what you're considering, but to ME, it was great! ;) You know what I mean.

My K teacher wanted to bump me up to first grade after a week in K, but because of my size, my mom said no. I am glad she didn't bump me up, because of all the reasons I stated above.

I asked this question a month or so ago and got wonderful answers, so please check out the responses that I got!

For what it's worth, we had him screened at the private schools and one said "K" and the other (highly accelerated program) said "Pre-K". We elected to go with the parochial school for now, but if he's not challenged enough, we'll switch to the prep school and have him redo Kindergarten.

I work at my kids' school.
I also have two kids, that started Kindergarten at 4 and then turned 5. And they were fine. They are late born.

I also know kids, who are small. And later born. And they started Kinder at 4 then turning 5. And they are completely, FINE.

I also know kids, who are big/tall/big boned, who started school later, and turned 6 in Kindergarten. They are now in 1st grade or older... they personally, I think they look huge.... tall... much older than their classmates who are of average age. I've noticed that kids who are held back and enter Kinder late and turn 6 in Kinder, they are older looking and taller/bigger. Compared with the rest of the class, I can usually spot them out.

At my kids school, Kinder is for 5 year olds. Public school. And private school it is at 6 years old.
In some schools, if a child enters school at 6 years old, they will put that child in 1st grade.
So you have to see what the school rules are, at the school your kid is going to attend.

Size of a child, does not matter.
Kids who are on the smaller side, have friends and do fine.
Kids who are bigger/taller, have friends and are fine. But they stand out more. Because they are bigger.

My daughter has classmates/friends who are summer born. And they entered Kinder at 4 years old then turned 5. And they are fine.
The cut off here, is in August.

What exactly is your reason, for wanting to hold your son back???
Just his size?
Why are you holding him back?
Boys, do not have to be... held back.
Although they commonly are.

My son is currently in 1st grade. He turned, 6 after the beginning of the school year which was last year July. He is late born. Versus, LOTS of his classmates, are 7 already or turning 7.
So what.
That doesn't mean the 7 year olds are better than the 6 year old 1st graders. My son does fine. And is more mature than some of the 7 year olds.

You have gotten good advice here. Please have a serious talk with his preschool teachers -- without him around and when you do not have to rush off somewhere else. Talk with them about whether he is truly ready: Does he listen to them and follow their directions? Can he follow directions with multiple parts well? Does he move easily from activity to activity without resisting or melting down? Does he cooperate OK with other kids?

You're not looking for perfection in all these areas, but he does have to be able to do these things most of the time before he begins K. He must listen to adults who are not mom or dad, and he must be able to cope when an adult says, "It's time to put the blocks away now and we're going to go to music class" etc. If he can handle those transitions that's great for K. If he can't or isn't socially ready (puts his hands on other kids a lot, can't control his talking, etc.) then you need to think about whether he's ready. The teachers can help you here. It is better to hold back a kid who isn't ready than to send that kid and end up with a tough K year and being told the child should repeat K to gaiin maturity. That may not be an issue here! But talk it out with the teachers and go observe him in preschool yourself.

He may be totally ready or he may not -- base the decision on that, not on his age and especially not on whether he gets to go to school with one particular kid. That's not a good idea because friendships change, even friendship with a cousin -- these two boys could be best buddies now and fall out with each other in the first week of K! Or they could keep on being buddies but drift apart as they each find new friends. A child does not need best-buddy support to start K; and if he doesn't go to K with his cousin/friend, he really will be fine. If he doesn't go with his cousin and is blue about that, you will have to be the mom and just say, "It's X's time to go and not yours." His own readiness, not his being with his cousin, is the key factor.

"Been there, done that." :) I wanted my son to go to school the same time his friends in the daycare center went,so he wouldn't get picked on. I know people say the opposite, but it is totally different when they have older friends or a cousin as you your case. I didn't want his friends to view him as a "baby." My son actually missed the cut-off, so the public school wouldn't accept him. I wound up sending him to a parochial school instead. They tested him and told me he had to start, or he would be bored so holding him back would cause more trouble. I think this is one of my pet peeves, since I started school early as well. A child should start school when they are ready and not when parents and teachers think they should. Yes my son is the youngest and will always be the youngest, but that doesn't mean he isn't successful in school. It's actually the opposite for him. They wound up skipping in over 6th grade, so he's actually 2 years younger than his classmates. The funny thing is that it doesn't show. The only students that know are the ones he tell and the ones that know him from went he was in 5th grade. His height doesn't show it, because his school has a nice mixture of short and tall boys. There's one boy in his grade that is actually a lot shorter than him. He's in 10th grade now and we have no more problems than any other parent with a teenager would have. No one picks on him like certain ones tried to do when he was in elementary school. (Didn't work, because he picked back. lol.) Elementary school is always tought no matter what your age. He has no trouble in gym, except for figuring out he could climb the wall by digging his finger nails into the wall! He out runs most of them and is very strong. I will admit that we did have him in kung fu when he was in kindergarten and 1st grade, which probably is what helped out a lot with the coordination, determination, and strength. He doesn't like sports; eventhough, he's good at basketball. He's in band and various other clubs as well. So if I were you, I'd let my son go to school. As for preparing him....Sure you can start teaching him to read, increase his attention span with various craft projects, the alphabet, to count, and even to add. Just don't forget to get him outside and play ball once in a while.

I would not consider the issue of his cousin and good friend. Your giving him a chance for success over years of school trumps a cousin and a friend. Boys NEED extra time and if he is a little guy, he will especially need it. Kids bully the smaller guys. Give him the gift of another year in preschool.

Dawn

I would go with my heart. If you feel that your son would be better waiting until he is six to start school then I would wait. My daughter turned 5 at the beginning of Kindergarten and has done wonderful. She is one of the youngest in her class but she is very smart. I have heard that boys are a little slower than girls are. The only thing that would concern me would be when he is older he will be one of the "older" kids and sometimes kids will just automatically think that he was held back in previous years.

I absolutely would not hold him back. His birthday is a full 4 months before the cut off! As for him succeeding in school, studies actually show that any academic advantage from holding kids back disappears after elementary school (i.e. there is no long-term benefit), BUT kids that are younger when they start kindergarten actually have higher IQs than those who start later. Starting school earlier -- when they learn the fastest -- actually seems to make kids smarter in the long-run.

Yes, teachers have an easier time with more mature kids, but unless there's a clear reason the child needs to be started late, I wouldn't. I think in the long run, the child actually benefits from starting earlier (btw, I have a child who's b-day is almost at the cutoff, and we will start on time, so this is something I've thought about!).

Ugh, just wrote a super long answer and it didn't post.

You absolutely have to send your son to kindergarten in the fall. To hold him back another year is ridiculous. His birthday is a full four months before the cutoff date. Kindergarten is designed for five year olds, not six or seven year olds. May is not a late birthday.

My son's birthday is May 26. He is in kindergarten this year and he's five. There are 26 kids in his class - 18 boys and 8 girls - and 14 of them are younger than my son. They are all doing great and none of the parents regret sending them to school this year. Only one child could have gone last year and was held, but he has a late September birthday.

I get extremely frustrated by the trend to hold children back. If your son doesn't have a diagnosed learning or behavior disability, you shouldn't even be considering holding him. There is very little research that shows that holding kids back is beneficial in the long run.

I absolutely disagree with the posters who say that children, especially boys, need extra time. That might be true for a child with an August or September birthday, but NOT MAY!