When to Have Another Child

All 3 of my kids are 2 years 5 months apart and it's been great. Close enough for them to play together, far enough apart to be a little more independent when the new one is born.

now. go for it. my two oldest are about 21 months apart and it was perfect. when my second was born, my oldest was just getting independent, but had not gotten to the point where she was really aware of what it meant to be an only child. my sister had hers a little bit farther apart (about 30 months) and she had a few problems as her oldest got REALLY used to being the one and only, but now the two get along fabulously (well, as good as a sister and baby brother can!).

My son was almost 3.5 when I had my daughter last August. For us, it has been perfect. He is old enough that the jealousy just hasn't been there. My friends who had there second kids around the age your daughter is now, have had a horrible time with jealousy. I dont' know if I'm just lucky, but it is our experience. I am thankful all the time that we didn't have her when he was younger because it was really hard those first 3 months to have a baby that needed you constantly. If he had needed me constantly in the diaper/feeding/sleeping way of 1.5 years ago, I seriously don't know what I would have done. I know some people like to have them close together, but I personally can't imagine it. I was worried about the bonding if they weren't closer in age then they are. My son ADORES her and I cannot believe how much they play together already! She will be 6 months next week and I can't keep them apart. I have had maybe an unusually wonderful experience, I don't know. I would recommend a bit more time. But more importantly, I recommend doing it! We were on the fence and weren't sure if we would or not. I thankful every day we did and my son has had nothing but a wonderful gift! The only thing he still talks about is how sad he was when I had to stay at the hospital, but how happy he was to visit me and his sister.

There are pros and cons on whichever one you look at, so I guess whatever you decide you feel more comfortable doing and what your heart tells you. I have 3 kids so I have seen both sides. My first and second are 4 years apart and my second and third are almost 2 years apart. It was easier with my first two since my older was out of diapers and could feed herself and dress herself. It has been more challenging with my younger two since they are both in diapers and both need me to do pretty much everything for them, but I love the fact that they adore each other and I know they will grow up very close to each other and they will have each other. All though my older one plays with the middle one, it is more difficult because of the age difference and she gets frustrated with him and they tend to fight alot. In my opinion, I like the fact of them growing up together and not being a big age gap between them because they will grow closer to one another and I know my older daughter won't be as close to the two younger ones because she will be into other things and do her own stuff. Though it is more difficult to deal with two little ones I believe at the end it will be better for them. I believe for you it would be just fine now because by the time your baby is born your daughter will be about 3 and I think that is the perfect age difference.

Honestly I think two years is the best time frame. My girls are two years a part and couldn't be closer. They look out for each other and share everything. They are best friends.

I have a 3 year old daughter and a 1 year old step daughter. They bicker constantly. What one has the other wants. The girls didn't grow up together, we all just moved in at the beginning of this year. My 3 year old has always been the only child in her home, never had to share, and doesn't go to daycare. With this all still fresh and new to me, I'd strongly urge 3-4 years between children. It really just depends on you and your child though.

My oldest was 2 1/2 when my second was born. When there too close in age it seems stressful because u have two babies still . I would wait till she's at least 2

B.-
My son was born 8-17-07. A lot of people have been asking us when the next one in coming as well. I think it just depends on you, your husband, and your little one. Are your finances stable? Does your daughter sleep through the night well? Do you want your children close in age? These are all things that I'm thnking about. It even goes farther for me. I'm also a teacher and I want to get back in the classroom before the next one comes along. I just feel like I want to get a little "me time" in before I have the next baby. My career was really important to me and I miss it. It really is a matter of preference. I'm sure you will make the right choice for you. Best wishes.

Hi there,

I got pg when my oldest daughter was 17 months. My two are 23 months apart now at 2 and 4, and they get along great. Of course, there are arguments, but they often play together nicely and my older daughter enjoys teaching her younger sister things and hugging and taking care of her.

So my advice... start now! Good luck!

Hi B..
I agree with most of the other posters as well about the decision being all yours and depending on how you look at the ages. My daughter just turned 3 last week and we are expecting #2 in Sept. She is very excited as are we about it. I feel like she is ready to be a big sister and help mommy out. I am also glad that she is now out of diapers, can get herself a snack, change her clothes, etc by herself. But I think it also depends on your child's personality. My sister has a boy/girl 18 months apart and had it very difficult in the beginning. They are now 8/9 and are very close but the first 3 or so years were very difficult for her.
Good luck to you

my daughter just turned 2 and she's the only one we have. Of course we want more but we're waiting till she's at least a little bit more independent around 3 years....my husbands uncle has 4 kids and they were one after the other...they all need mommy's attention but she's just one person and its sad because they all deserve it but she can't do it all. Its better to put one on their feet first where they are more independent and don't need you as much so when the next one comes you can give it your full attention without being overwhelmed on taking care of two babies when it'll be a toddle and a baby! best of luck what ever your decision becomes.

A lot of the books say 3 years is ideal, each child can function as an individual but they are still close enough in age to be playmates. That being said - it's whatever works for you. If you are contemplating it, you may be ready! Mine are 3 yrs and then 2.5 years apart. First was a girl then 2 boys - the spacing wasn't planned it took an additional 4 pregnancies to get #2, we started trying when #1 was 15 mos. b/c it took so long to have her we figured it wasn't going to be easy with #2 either. Number three was a surprise blessing b/c we were done after #2 just because we didn't want to go through fertility treatments anymore and our family seemed complete. The two boys are definitely closer - but they are the same sex so is that why or the age difference? I don't think it was any easier or harder on the older sibling if they were 2.5 or 3 yrs - again each child is different so ymmv.

I have a friend who chose to have her kids 18 months apart - she knew after having baby #1 she wanted 4 girls - each 18 months apart. Wouldn't you know she had exactly that. I think I'd have shot myself, but she never got stressed and loved it. She has a 5th/4th/2nd/1st grader and is loving every minute of it. The girls are wonderful and well adjusted.

Good luck - no matter what you chose it will work out!

Hi! I can definitely give advice on this topic. We have 4 children, each one a surprise. We've had the spacing two ways...our first 2 were 22 months apart...and it was VERY difficult..I would never plan it that way. #3 came along when #2 was 3...and that felt just right...I could really focus on her as a newborn as he was becoming independent. Now, by a HUGE surprise I am pregnant with #4 and my 2 little ones will only be 18months apart...YIKES...I don't suggest this to anyone unless you have the patience of a saint. All of my children have had colic, so being sleep deprived and still meeting all of your toddler's needs along with the care of your newborn, and other children, is ALOT. You can do it, we all manage somehow, but if I had planned the spacing between children, I would have at least 3 yrs between each child. But like everyone says, you have to do what feels right to you. Good luck!! C.

Well B. it didn't take long for me to figure out a response to your question once I read your profile. I read you are 34 years old. That is enough to say you might want to get started now. I am not sure how long it took you to get preggers with number one, but it might take longer with number 2. If you two are thinking about 3 then your need to really get on the ball.

If you were in your 20's I might say it is up to you, but you are not.

Best wishes!

My two boys are 2 years, 1 month apart. I like it now that they're 4 and 2, but I found it extremely difficult to have a terrible 2-year-old at the same time I had a newborn. Of course I wouldn't change anything now, but I would advise waiting until the kids would be three or more years apart.