When Is It Okay for Children to Stay Home by Themselves?

Updated on December 03, 2007
V.B. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
11 answers

My 7 and almost 11(next week)year old boys want to be left alone when my husband and I need to run an errand...Home Depot, Grocery store..etc. When is it appropriate and safe to let them stay home by themselves? We have two big dogs (Boxer and Lab)and one is a very protective guard dog but is it still safe for them to be left for an hour or so?

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So What Happened?

First I'd like to thank everyone that took the time to respond, it was very appreciative! I did leave them for about 30 minutes to run to the store and I called 3 or 4 times..they were like "MOM!!! We are FINE!" It was too funny. I told them I would leave them every now and then for a very short period of time. I feel okay with that, especially since my parents and my brother live a few blocks from us. I prefer they stay together than totally alone. They are very good together and they are so used to being with each other most of the time. I'm not ready for hours or all day but for a a little while I think they'll do okay!

Thanks again for all the responses!

More Answers

C.M.

answers from Dallas on

I stuggle with this too. I have a 9 1/2 yr old and a 6 1/2 yr old that are really good girls. I wonder at what point would it be for my oldest to start babysitting for short errands. I dont think she is old enough yet, but looking a little down the line.

If there isnt a law concerning it, then I think it would be your own feeling of safety. Maybe you could start with short trips, 15-30mins and go from there?

GL!

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Okay- everyone will probably think I am weird, but the law in the state of Texas mandates that any child under the age of 15 is not to be left alone.

The only thing I can suggest is to ask yourself questions like- if the house caught on fire is your 11 year-old mature enough to get himself and his brother out of the house right away. Would he worry about trying to put out the fire, or worry that he might get into trouble for starting a fire. Just think of things like that!

I don't mean to scare you-those are just things my mother thought about when allowing me to babysit for people. Of course she didn't tell me that until I was older! Of course my mother didn't let me stay home alone until I was 16 I think. It never bothered me either that she waited that long!

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J.I.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is 10 and just started walking home this year with a buddy. She also stays home when I go to the store etc. I think it depends on your child matuarity level. At 7 there was no way she could have done it. There is no true state law as people believe. The police and cps have to base it on the childs maturity if they are ever called out. My dad is a 35 year police officer with the Dallas PD and his wife is a family law attorney. I discuseed it with them before allowing her to walk home and stay home.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think it is probably just fine for the 11 yr old to start staying home alone for short periods. Personally, I would let him stay home alone for an hour or so several times before I would think about leaving him in charge of the younger child. I would most likely wait until the older boy was 12 & had been home alone many times before I would have him babysit the younger one. Hope to help!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have an 8 year old son and my husband thinks it would be okay for us to leave him at home alone while we run errands like that but I just don't feel comfortable about it yet. I wasn't left alone until I was about 12 and my husband he went home after school and had to take care of himself until his father got off work when he was only 6 or 7 years old. I think it just depends on whether or not you feel you can trust your kids to behave and take care of them selves for a few hours while you would be gone. Good Luck.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

well, that's a hard one, but I would say it depends on your oldest child. I think a better age would be 13-14 to leave them by themselves, but your older child may be pretty mature. For an hour, that's not bad.

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

hi V., i would think that once your son is 11, it would be a good sign of trust in him to leave him with his brother. i would start with a quick trip to the grocery store (20 or 30 minutes), then build up slowly. my parents left me starting around 10 or 11 and we left my step-son when he was just 12 or 13 for much longer times (even later evenings for several hours). he did great, and i bet your sons will too.

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L.

answers from Dallas on

There is no law as to how old a child must be to stay at home alone. It all depends on the maturity level. If the child is immature and left at home in a possible dangerous surrounding, that is illegal. For instance, if you leave a 10 year old at home while your dinner is cooking so that you can run to the grocery store and it erupts in a fire, you could potentially have some legal problems.

Child cares don't usually take kids older than 12 years old. I would assume this is when people think majority of the kids will start to mature and have some responsibility. But again, it all depends on your own child's maturity level. One child maybe ready at 12 but another may be ready at 15.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/child_protection/about_child_...

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Like everyone else has said, it really depends on the maturity of the child. If you think your 11 year old is emotionally ready, then I wouldn't hesitate to let him stay alone...it's putting him in charge of the 7 year old that I would feel some uneasy-ness about. You know your kids better than anyone, though, so it's definitely a very personal decision. I just don't think we should base our today-decisions on what we did as kids. It's definitely a much different world! :)

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

This is the answer off one of the websites I visited:

Legal Age
The age at which a child can be left at home alone is only legislated in two states, Maryland and Illinois. The legal check is whether or not the child is safe and has the ability to take care of themselves. Most authorities agree that leaving a 12 year old alone at home for an hour or two is acceptable, but they should not be responsible for other children.
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I started babysitting at age 11, but I lived in a small town and looked older than my age. Looking back, I was probably too young. I never had any problems, but I would not hire an 11 year old to watch my kids. If your older son is mature, follows instructions, etc, I would think they would be okay for a short period of time. Try leaving them while you run a 15 minute errand, then kind of build from there.

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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

V., as a mom, we know our children and their capabilites. Do you feel they are responsible enough to stay home alone? How well do they get along with each other - would they break out into a big fight with each other? Do they tend to be fearful or scared of things sometimes? These are the kinds of questions I asked myself when making this decision. My kids are 11,8 (almost 9) and 7. The two oldest are girls and my son is the youngest. After a few attempts with them alone, we learned quickly that little brother seemed to bother the girls and cause some problems. So now, I will leave the girls alone by themselves for up to a few hours at a time, but I won't leave my son with them. We've been doing this since the summer, and the girls have proved that they can handle themselves very well. They have a cell phone and they will call me to check in or if they have a question and I can call them to make sure everything is alright. It has worked very well. My girls (again 11 and 8) follow the rules very well and it works for us. So I suggest if you feel your boys may be ready for this big step, do a trial of about an hour the first few times and see how it goes.

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