We went to see a Musical at a Local Theatre this evening. The performance was WONDERFUL and I am glad I went. I do have a vent and want opinions though. I would get caught up in it and then be brought back to earth by the talking touching kicking kid to the left of me, the talking kid and parents behind me or the talking coughing obviously SICK kid also behind me. THIS after I reviewed Theatre ettiquette with my 9 year old hitting heavily on the parts I thought she might have the most difficulty with. She did great! If late I won't enter the Theatre until a scene change (seems ushers used to enforce this) so I went over a lot of rules with her. Right after the sick kid had a coughing sneezing spell that surely infected the two rows surrounding her I turned around and in a low but stern tone said to her mother, "Take Her out! (Of course I did this during a scene change, lights out on stage) She did eventually leave taking the child for a little while and things were better but not great when they returned. At the end (Sound of Music) a man was giving his child a not so accurate history lesson regarding Austria and the German Occupation which lasted the whole last scene which those of us around him obviously heard. Beyond glares, I've never said anything to anyone before but was at my limit with all the talking and kicking which seemed to surround me! The Ushers are volunteers so I'm not sure how much should be expected of them, but what can one do in a situation like this? This was a rare night out, tickets were discounted but still not free. GRRRR!
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Kellhy S. You are right, it was the evening performance. Sound of Music is pretty long but I do understand people thinking it's a Children's theme and understand that some might have a problem sitting still. It's the parents that let it go on and on and on or contribute themselves. If it were a few transgressions it would be one thing but it lasted the wholeshow.
Jen S. Thanks for the advice! Now I know who to go to without burdening some poor volunteer who is trying to give back to the community.
Regarding some of the other comments: You are right, the issue about the Guy talking History isn't really related to the content. The point I was trying to make is it went on long and loud enough that I could form an opinion, just as if I was sitting in his livingroom.
Glad to know other people feel the same way! The funny part was during Intermission the friend I was with mentioned she saw two seats a few rows up just accross the aisle and at the front of that section where our girls would be able to see. We asked the people next to them and behind them if they minded our daughters sitting there. They welcomed our girls and we gave them (our girls) detailed instructions again on how they were to act and kept an eye on them. After the show the adults around them were talking to them and it was VERY apparent they really liked our girls. I doubt the other children would have had such a warm reception and it is sad their parents don't want to put in the work or care to.
People are just rude!
My 18 year old son had to ask a mother to take her screaming toddler out of The Green Lantern movie - a movie rated PG13.
I think the rules of etiquette at the theatre need to be published in the program and posted on the restroom walls!!
LBC
I am a Producer and House Manager for a local theatre company that also has volunteer ushers. I have a couple of suggestions.
Politely, yet firmly ask them to please be quite, stop kicking, whatever. Don't shhhh, since that noise carries more loudly than whispered speaking. If they don't stop, definitely see an usher during intermission, but ask them to point you to the House Manager. Volunteer ushers are sometimes very experienced and can handle most anything, but sometimes not, so House Managers are your best bet for this sort of thing. Be as specific as you can about who is the problem, discretely pointing them out if possible. You should expect the HM to have a quick word with them about appropriate behavior. Usually, this does the trick. When we have these issues, I usually speak directly to the child (with the parent there of course), explaining the basic manners expected in a theater, and getting an agreement from the child that they will follow the rules. Usually, the parents are so embarrassed that their child needed 'the chat', that they are very good at enforcing those theater manners during the second half of the show.
As for Mr. I-know-nothing-about-history-but-plan-to-teach-you-and-everyone-else-anyway, I would just ask him politely, but firmly to be quiet. Don't worry about the accuracy of his commentary. That really isn't the concern, and will only cause a debate. The issue is talking during the performance, so just address that.
As for the late seating issue, please bring that to the attention of the HM during intermission as well. He/she will be glad for the information and use it to re-train the errant volunteers. :)
When I am in the audience at other theaters, I rarely hesitate to ask people to quiet down. I smile really big and say extra sweetly 'would you please be quiet.' I almost always get the desired result, and also a few 'thank yous' from those around me during intermission, because they were afraid to say anything.
Bravo for teaching your child basic manners within a theater!
Where were you? I know WVLO is currently doing Sound of Music, but that wouldn't be local to Pleasanton. Just curious! Also, I may know someone involved with that show and can ask them to pass the word of your experience to the HM. They can't fix a problem they are unaware of. :)
The movie theater is called the Alamo Drafthouse. The owner and his wife say it is one of the main reasons they started the business. They hated the talking in theaters and decided they would kick people out if they talked.. Now with texting, they are having to remind people it is just as bad as talking.. They also do not allow children under certain ages to attend without parents and also really young children are not allowed. , but they do have special screenings of current movies each week that parents can bring their infants and younger children..
Always inform management for them to handle the situation.
Of course I have asked people to quit talking or texting during performances or movies..
I do not know if you read about this, but here in Austin is a movie theater that has such strict rules about talking, coughing, texting etc.. They keep people in the theater JUST to monitor the audience. I love it, because we are all there to totally enjoy the show and the theater reinforces it..
Here is a call they received by a person that had been kicked out.. FYI. Rated R
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2lJZs
Here is a news story about his also.. Rated G..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeMEr_vBzBk&feature=re...
I quietly and politely but FIRMLY say something to the offender. If that doesn't work then I involve management. I paid my money to watch a play, musical, performance or movie, and THAT is all I want to hear or feel! Don't put up with rudeness. Others will also be grateful, and we shouldn't allow rude people to get away with it. Children whose parents are allowing them to be rude will often learn a life lesson (if management has to be involved) that their parents obviously aren't teaching them.
Erin makes a really good point. That behavior isn't just rude to the other people in the audience, it's extremely disrespectful to the performers. I have no suggestions to add really, it's just such a shame that parents can't be bothered to teach basic manners. If my child started making noise in any sort of theater, I would be mortified, and if one warning didn't fix it, he'd be out of there.
Did other parents just not grow up being taught manners?
I hate how inconsiderate people can be! My mother was at the movie theater once and the people behind her were talking so she lifted up her jacket to where it covered their viewing and said "If I cant hear, then you cant see". While that is a bit extreme imo, it got the point across and they stopped talking. I used to just sit and "stew" as im not a confrontational person, but i usually now will say something. Sometimes we will go and tell an usher who will say something to them.
It sounds like those people just don't know about theater etiquette. It's not the same as taking your kids to see Cars 2, it's the theater! It's not previously filmed, it's live performers who deserve respect, as do the people in the audience.
I probably wouldn't have said anything, but that is because I am a total chicken when it comes to that. I would have been very annoyed though, and vented about it later. :-)
I feel your pain here too. Frankly, I would have been annoyed had this even been a movie theater. Still not an appropriate place for kicking, loud conversations etc... When I was pregnant with my son, we attended a concert. It was early in my pregnancy and we had purchased the tickets months before so we went anyway. I was having severe struggles with morning sickness all day. I was fine until the people around us started lighting up cigarettes. The smoke almost made me hurl. I did find one of the ushers to tell,and he did address it since there is NO smoking allowed. However, they can only address what they see. Therefore, as soon as the usher looked away, this group lit up again. I was MISERABLE needlessly. These folks shouldn't have been smoking anyway. You can say something to the ushers, but if someone is intent on being a jerk, then you still might not get the results you want.
I was always such a stickler on manners and etiquette with my kids. It makes it tough when you've gone over all the rules and what we do and don't do and then there are kids acting up left and right and their parents don't even say anything.
The poor coughing kid couldn't help it, but they should have gone out. And stayed. It's a bummer not to make it through a film or performance after you've made such plans, but if your kid is coughing or can't or won't sit still, it's time to go.
I always got compliments on how well behaved my children were. In fact, a friend was here from out of town and invited me to a business dinner. She also invited my son. She was questioned about including a child, but after meeting my son, they were so impressed by him. Especially the men. It was a fancy restaurant too. My son put his napkin on his lap, he ordered for himself, he didn't eat until others began eating, he was included in the conversation but didn't interrupt. Some of the conversation was pretty boring because we were a bunch of insurance agents. I got so many compliments. My friend called me after she got back home to tell me that everyone just couldn't say enough about my son. She'd known him since he was little so there was no doubt in her mind he could hold his own.
If I thought for one second my son couldn't conduct himself, I would have declined the invitation for him.
You know, some kids don't know how to behave because they haven't been exposed to things. And they don't really know until they are taught and have a chance to conduct themselves. That's where the parents come in and tell them to stop kicking or quit fiddling around and if they can't, they should be taken out.
I have a friend who has the cutest little boy, but she never even tried taking him to a restaurant. Or anywhere else that he'd have to behave. She said he was hell on wheels (her words) and she didn't dare even try it.
I kind of felt sorry for him. I mean, he wouldn't just wake up one day knowing miraculously how to behave somewhere. She quit going to church because he was a little maniac and just not going was easier than trying to get him to behave himself.
She didn't subject other people to him, but she also didn't ever expose him to social situations. That kind of didn't make sense to me. He's really smart and her husband is older so maybe that has something to do with it. They just believe in letting him do whatever he wants.
I think it's good that you work on etiquette with your kids. When they see other kids act up, it just reinforces for them what not to do.
Don't let one bad experience keep you from exposing your kids to culture and the arts.
Just my opinion.
I have said things to people who brought ill behaved children. I did teach mine as you taught yours. As for the German lesson I'd have told him to pack it in until the family left as he was disturbing everyone else.
I'd have told him his history was off. But if he protested I'd switch to German and end it quick. No translations for obnoxious people.
Unfortunately, this is happening more and more. We rarely go to the movies or theater anymore because of it. Asking someone politely to stop kicking, talking, texting rarely works. They just don't care.
Laurie A. Please share the name of the theater in Austin!
Hmm Sound of Music is a kids film so an afternoon matinee I'd expect it. But you said it was an evening show? Evening show its still kid oriented but the parents still should have kept control of their kids and taught them how to behave. I grew up seeing broadway plays and learned early on how to behave. When I went back to NY a few years ago I took my daughter to see Little Mermaid. She loved it. There was a kid behind us who's parents got him 2 seat pads, which assured the kid behind him had no way of seeing the show and then he kept kicking my chair. I finally turned around and told the kid directly stop kicking my chair now. I know I should have said it to the mom but by then I was so annoyed that she didn't do anything to stop it.. But by second show all was good and it was great.
