What to Do About Thumbsucking?

Dear T.,
My daughter never took a pacifier until I took her bottle away. She never sucked her thumb until I took the pacifier away. Thumb sucking was a comfort thing for her. My husband hated it and always threatened to put hot sauce and horrible tasting stuff on her thumbs to MAKE her stop, which just made her suck her thumb more. He was a control freak and hounded her constantly about it which helped absolutely nothing. You can't take a kid's thumb away from them all together.
My daughter and I made a deal. I would not give her a bad time about sucking her thumb, but she was to do it in private. She was still sucking her thumb in the third grade and at slumber parties, she would crawl down inside her sleeping bag to suck her thumb so no one would know.
They really do eventually grow out of it. But I think the more you hound them, the worse it gets. Tell him he can suck his thumb, but not at school, not in the car, not in public, etc. If we were watching a family movie and my daughter covered herself up with her blanket, we knew exactly what she was doing, but left her alone because within 5 minutes she was asleep.
They get to the age where they don't want anyone to know they suck their thumbs or be teased by their friends about it. They do quit on their own. Trust me.

Unless your dentist is worried about it, I wouldn't be. These aren't his adult teeth, & chances are he'll quit on his own before the adult teeth show up--IF you don't make a stink about it.

My five year old had the same problem. We tried many different things without success. At her most recent regular teeth cleaning, our wonderful pediatric dentist had a suggestion because she agreed that this was doing permanent damage to her bite and her permanent teeth, which are coming in. The dentist has obviously had much experience with this, because her strategy worked.

She made a big deal out of having a "special talk" with my daughter, pulled her aside (without mom) and discussed that the habit was comforting but damaging to her big girl teeth that are just under the gums. She showed her the teeth in the x-ray that was taken that morning. Then, she suggested that each day our daughter was to be given a cup of pennies. Every time we saw her sucking her thumb, we had to take one away. At the end of the week, she could use those coins for a special treat (a matchbox car or new crayons). I was very dubious about this plan (and felt it might even be bribery), but it WORKED. My daughter hasn't sucked her thumb in 5 weeks!!

I think it helped having the information come from a neutral party (parents often are a bit too emotionally connected).

I'd recommend finding a good pediatric dentist in your area and enlisting his/her help. They specialize in these problems and have great solutions.

It is his way to comfort himself. Just don't make a big deal about it just occasionally tell him he is a big boy and big boys dont suck their thumb. My daughter was sucking her thumb in utero and just stopped at 14 yrs old. She did it only at night and had braces for two years.

I say let him suck his thumb - I did it for a long time,like 5th grade. Mostly just at night. it was great, I loved it! I had a little bit of a gap, but when I stopped, the gap went away. I have very straight teeth and have never needed braces.

My son sucked his thumb until he was 5, we used liquid you paint on his thumb that tastes really bad. I can't remember the name since it was so long ago, but it is used for thumb sucking and nail biting, I'm sure you can find it at any store. Also, my sister used it on her nails to stop biting them and it worked. Good luck!

Hi T.!

I wouldn't worry so much about the teeth, because they can always be fixed. But if it's "time" for your son to lay off on the thumb-sucking, then focus on that and not the teeth.

I would "allow" him to have any and all thumb-sucking only on his bed. When you notice him sucking, then simply say, "I notice you are sucking your thumb, that means your body is getting sleepy, you need to go lay down...." If you begin to make it an association to sleeping, he will begin to use it only for sleeping. It will take a while, but you will have less tears this way :O)

My sister sucked her thumb until she was in 3rd grade (or maybe even longer), but my mom only allowed her to do so in her room, whenever she needed to, but in her room. None of her friends ever knew she sucked her thumb.

I remember when my youngest son was in Kindergarten, and there were 2 kids who sucked their thumbs during Story Time, or just when they were tired. It's a very common situation for your son's age, is my point. If you begin to train your son now, to keeping it to his room, then you are allowing the "best of both worlds". He still gets to suck his thumb, and you are getting him to break the habit without yelling and tears.

I hope that works for you.

~N. :O)

My experience was that I was willing to let him continue to suck his thumb and just pay for the braces and jaw widening later. I just didn't want to take his comfort away from him. So I let him suck. I think he just naturally stopped around 6 or so. It helped that his blankie shredded to nothing.

T.,

It's all about self-comforting. I did it until I was 7, and had a home life that caused intense anxiety. Giving your son negative attention around it will probably increase his anxiety and actually reinforce the behavior. I would recommend giving him love and comfort instead, ignoring the thumbsucking for now, and trying to work with him to find more appropriate ways of dealing with stress. He's still a little too young to speak rationally about this, but you can try to comfort the part of him that needs to be comforted. And if there's anyone in his life who causes anxiety it would be good to limit that contact.

T.,
I just heard a new way in Parenting mag. Put bandaids around his thumb. Let him pick them out. I'm sure you can find out more info at parenting.com.

I also know that the company "One Step Ahead" makes a product for thumb sucking.

Good Luck!

T.,
Our oldest sucked her thumb until she started kindergarten. She got to busy and the other kids weren't doing it so, she stopped. She only did it to self soothe every now and then after that, When she did stop, her teeth straightened themselves out on their own.
W. M.