What to Do About Suspected Child Neglect

If i were you i would call child protective services. These little girls don't deserve that kind of neglect. You can't do it and be anonomous.But they do not tell who has called them. I hope you do call them for the little girls sake.

This is a sensitive issue. You don't want to be too quick to call CPS, but on the other hand, you don't want these children to be in an unsafe environment. Initially, the worst thing that would happen is that CPS would determine if what was observed warrants and investigation. They go through a process and determine whether to make a home visit or "screen" it out of their system. Then they would go to the home and look through the home. Dependent upon what they saw, they may determine that they will come back in 30 days, or take action based on the first visit. I know this first hand because my husband and I had CPS visit our home 4 days after we moved in. We had had a couple of different people in our home during the first few days we were here. We had just moved in and had boxes everywhere! We have 2 babies in diapers, and have NEVER left a dirty diaper anywhere but in the trash can! We had a few NEW, UNUSED diapers laying on a small table. Someone called CPS and told them we had dirty diapers lying around! My house may have been clutered, but it is never DIRTY!!! CPS came and looked in every room in my house. They came back a week later, just to talk to me because I wasn't there the first time. They said that it was ridiculous that they had been called because it was obvious that our home was very clean and that they didn't see anything wrong their first "surprise" visit! As angry as I was that someone did that to us, it was nice to know that CPS takes those types of concerns seriously. I would have to believe that, in this case, the parents had to know if the child had dirty underwear from the night before.

Your call to CPS would remain anonymous. They can not legally tell the family who called them.

As for the comment posted that if they can't pay their bills, they should be removed - that's not a fair assessment. My husband and I have 5 children (I have one from a previous marriage, he has 3 and we have one together). We are what most would consider a low income family because only my husband can work (we have a premie who can not be in daycare). He is limited, for various reasons, to the type of work he can get. We get assistance such as medicaid for our kids and food stamps, but our kids don't want for anything. They have new, clean clothes, a roof over their heads, food, heat, electricity. We may struggle and we may run short on money, meaning our bills are late or behind, but that doesn't mean we don't take care of our kids or that they should be taken away from us.

If the kids in this situation are truely neglected, they should be in a better environment. But the neglect doesn't necessarily have anything to do with bills or being able to pay them or not. It's been said that this dad is known to have a good job, so there has to be something else going on in this household.

I personally would call the parents or legal guardian first. Discuss the situation that happened and express your concerns. My daughter is 6 and there are times she does things that get by me and I often wonder "why?" yet, she's only 6. We have struggles many times with bath time, brushing her hair and well, just her outfit she will wear that day. So, this is not really something I look at being child neglect. I think that this child may have gotten upset that she did this and hid it from her parents. Infact, hid it too long to wear it (soiled underwear) and had caused irritation. Again, many children still have accidents, and also have a hard time wiping themselves thoroughly. It could be that she was embarassed to tell her parents/legal guardian. So, with that in mind, I would suggest to speak with the parents. If you have a hard time with this, then I would suggest you to talk with someone to speak to them with you. Neglect is a strong word. We all have our own opinions on what it is, and when it may be happening, yet we do not know the full truth in all types of situations. Hope this helped.

W.

working in child care i know that the sunday school teacher is required to report this to cps. its sad but she can get in big trouble iof she doesnt report it

I would call social services. You can remain anonomous.

You can and should report any suspected child neglect. At the least the family can be investigated and made aware of the areas they are slacking in bringing up their children the way they deserve to be. You can report it anonimously to the Child Protective Services Hotline. That number is 1-800-800-5556 and is open 24 hours. Please don't let these children go without help and a voice to care for them.

I believe that action needs to be taken, whatever that may be. There are several options and depending on interpersonal situations one may be more feasible than the other. My suggestions are:
1. Have the Sunday School teacher bring up the poopy undies issue since she was the one in direct contact with the situation.
2. You could go to the parents in a caring manner saying something such as, "I know how hard it is to get a child dressed in the mornings, have you all been having the same issue?" And then launch into the unkempt, poopy pants issue.
3. You CAN report them to CPS annon.
Or you could do a combo of all of the above. However, you do need to do something because obviously you are concerned enough about it to post here. No child should suffer and all children should be taught how to care for themselves appropriately from an early age. Good luck!!!!

ABSOLUTELY. As a former pediatric nurse you should definately do this. CPS in Indiana allows a fairly confidential/anonymous report. Basically, you tell them FACTUALLY what you have seen/witnessed/ and what your immediate concerns are. They have to do something with all complaints. Sometimes it is just a phone consult...but with these type of allegations, then it will probably be a home visit. From that point they will make any further determinations. Honestly, in Indiana, teachers, nurses, and maybe clergy have a legal responsiblity to report. I hope you follow through. Good luck!

I guess you have to weigh the odds. Even though you have not known these people for long, your friends have. If they have given you information that acknowledges that the parents are neglecting the children, then someone has to speak up for these kids to give them the best chance at life they will ever get. I believe that what our children learn in the first 10 years of their life is what will stick with them more so than anything else. If you have information that could help these children become better parents than what they have when they are older, then you need to do it. If you call your local CPS office, many, many times you can leave anonymous tips. However, one county that I lived in for several years would contact the familys by phone and give them advanced warning of any visits from CPS so the family in question would be able to clean themselves up prior to CPS' arrival. Be persistent though, call and leave something anonymous and I would also send a letter anonymously. If others would do so as well, CPS is bound to do something if they do not from your initial call. The kids need help and you have the power to give it to them.

I agree witht he previous posters. I would talk to the Nursery keeper maybe first and then your minister. I hope all they need is a little help and not to be taken from their environment.

You should ask the pastor to bring this up to the man. I wouldn't condemn him for dirty children. He may know know how to rear children. But before you jump the gun have the pastor or someone from the church try to help him. He may take really good care of them other than their appearance.

I work at a Domestic Violence shelter and I have used CPS, but I would never do that without offering assistance first. Everyone is not born with the parenting gene. He may just be overwhelmed and not have enough time for the children. He may just need some parenting help. Before you make that call I would see what services are out there to help him. If he seems to not care or there aren't any changes then I would take further action.

My personal opinion is that if you sit back and do nothing then when something really bad happens it's just as much your fault as it is their parents. Just because you call cps doesn't mean that you are a bad person just concerned. The children will only be taken away from their home if it is not a safe place for them. If the pastor knows nothing of the family then I would take some sort of action. If you talk to the parents it may scare them off and they may not come back to your church. Its up to you to decide but what if something happens? How would you feel? Just something to think about.

Regardless of the very important function CPS plays, if you are dealing with people in your church, you need to approach this situation biblically. That doesn't mean CPS won't need to be brought into the situation, but based on the evidence of neglect you've described, I think you probably should approach the parents first. If I were in your shoes, I would probably go to the Children's Ministry director (if your church has one) and explain the situation. They have been trained to deal with situations like this. If you don't have a Children's Ministry director, I would involve the pastor, even though he is new to the congregation. He (hopefully) will have a bibilcal solution on how to approach the parents.

My hestitation of immediately contacting CPS also stems from the many instances you hear of children being removed from families, and much later finding out that the parents were not being neglectful at all. Being a parent, the idea of that is horrifying. A situation like that would be even more tramatic for these kids than their current situation.

Yes, you have a duty to these girls to keep them same and part of that is clean. Yes you can call child services and not let them know who you are. You can talk to the children u said she is 7 I am a teacher for the 4 year old girls at my church. please do not feel guilty these girls need help and you are their only chance. I hate to see children leave their natural parents but if its for saftey or cleaniness or medically then that is what I would do.

I have read a lot the advice already given, and I am torn. I reported my tenants to CPS just 2 weeks ago. Her children (7,5,1) were being left home alone for hours at a time. Now, I can say that since they were investigated, this has not happened again to my knowledge. Sometimes the fact that someone else has observed what you are doing is enough to make people change. I have never done this before and hope I never have to do it again. But I feel better knowing that I did my part to help those kids and I probably did thier parents a big favor too. The next time those kids got left alone, one of them could have walked out in the street infront of a car, you never know. There may be other ways to deal with this, but I did not hurt anyone by calling CPS. They did not take the kids away, all they did was step into the home and take a look at what was going on and asked the parents several questions. If you think someone at the church would be willing to step in and ask the parents a few questions, then maybe that could be your first step. But whatever you do, do not ignore the problem, because there obviously is one, we just don't know how big!

I would not speak to the family directly. I would involve the pastor in your church. Perhaps speak with him/her and see if they have any input. They could know what the home situation is like better than you. Your minister would know bettr how to handle the situation. They are trained to deal with issues like this. If the situation continues, then consider calling CPS. You don't want the children to grow up in a bad environment.

Delicate situation there. I have done daycare over the last 4 years since my youngest was born and I had a woman who started bringing her kids to me once in a while, and it was the same situation. Her kids came to me wearing very dirty clothes and they were not bathed. I would always find another outfit for her youngest daughter to change into and make sure to wash her face and brush her hair. I always sent her home looking MUCH better than she came to me. I can't tell you what to do, but as a mom, I know there must be times when my 4 children slip things by me unnoticed. (especially if our house has been very busy with something) I am not saying I would send my kids to church with poopy pants and the same clothes, but sometimes I assume my kids know to do something routinely (like the rule of changing ones underwear daily) and I don't realize maybe they haven't been doing it. If someone felt my kids were not up to par (which I pray never happens) I can only hope that someone might gently bring it to my attention before calling CPS, ya know? Yes, it would probably hurt my feelings, but it would be better than someone just calling the state and having me investigated. Perhaps the parents were not raised with good hygiene themselves? I don't know. I just hate to see CPS called when there might be a more gentle solution. It's tough because no one wants to offend another parent, but sometimes it just has to be done,very gently. Like, maybe if your church has a clothing pantry you could tell the parent you had gotten some things in that were JUST their kid's size and were wondering if they would be interested. If after finding a way to bring it to their attention, the kids still come in looking bad, THEN call CPS.
Just my thoughts on it...hope it helps a little.
Take care and good luck!

Dear D.,
Yes, there is somthing you can do. If you have their address. . . You can call the local police and have them do a "wellness check". we had a sister-in-law who had an abusive boyfriend and none of us lived close to her in so my other sister-in-law gave her the address and asked the cops to do a wellness check. They will go to the house and ask to come in an check do a wellness check on the girls (I think you will have to be specific in giving the girls names so THEY can be checked on). Even if you are just a little concerned the wellness check is the way to go. That way you just alerted the proper athorities and then they take it from there. Also, I would document this poopy underwear incident, date, time, where, who said what. . . just in case future incidents happen even after the wellness check.

You may have to let the cops know who you are and the reason for your call, but the wellness check can be anonomous. If the cops feel there is something fishy going on they can call child protection service. I hope this helps.

Sincerely,
K.