What to Do About Screaming

Updated on September 02, 2007
L.S. asks from Rock Hill, SC
7 answers

Hello! My one year old has become fond of screaming. I have given him small time outs to discipline him for this behavior, but it doesn't seem to be working. He still screams! And he doesn't seem to mind time out all that much either. How should I respond? And then, how can I respond when I am in public?

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A.D.

answers from Charlotte on

We have five children and all went through this stage of independence/wanting to hear themselves and see your reaction!! We practiced with our kids on quiet time, normal and loud. Before going outside I would say, alright it is alright to be LOUD (raise your voice some) because we will be outside. Then practice at play time together about talking normal, when the mood is not tense and relaxed and fun. Then when going to a store/outing talk about it while still in the car, you have to have a little voice. I wish you well and just always practice/talk to your child in a normal tone of how to conduct himself, especially when he is not yelling. Consistency is key!!

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K.

answers from Charlotte on

We just simply ignored our daughter when she spoke at screaming volume, and when she got frustrated we said 'our ears can't hear at that volume--you have to speak more quietly'. That did it for loud talking.

For screaming without reason, just remove him from whatever you are doing in public, and tell him that when he screams he will not be able to come along and will have to go home. Then alwasy follow through. When we are in public and we don;t approve of a behavior, we go outside with her to 'have a chat', which really is just a chat. We tell her that she will be unable to go shopping/playground/etc with mommy is she continues the behavior, and give her the choice to make the right decision. If she does not agree or does not show improvement, we remove ourselves from the place and go home. If she improves, there is lots of praise in the public place and maybe a new book as a reward.

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Charlotte on

I read somewhere you should just talk to them in a normal tone on voice. My son screams all the time! I just simply tell him if he wants something, he should talk in a normal tone. It does help. Just be patient. I also know when my son is bored or ignored, he'll scream. He's screamed the car, in public, etc. but we just laugh it off. Most people don't seem to mind. It's not like we're in a movie theater or something like that.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

Every child goes through this. Try to give them time when your home or outside or I used to play scream in the car before we went inside (make sure you've played loud/quiet before so they understand when the times up it's time to be quiet). Just try to be patient, it will go away shortly. Also, make sure there is true quiet n the house at least sometimes, if there is constant nosie, ie tv or radio or talking, all the time, the child will be loud to just hear themselves over the other noise and to make sure you hear them. IF they experience and environment with loud and quiet then they'll start to learn the difference and that both are good.

Good luck!!

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D.P.

answers from Raleigh on

As a music teacher, trust me when I say there is fine line between singing and screaming with small children. One technique I used with my pupils, and now my son, was speaking in a very quiet voice when you wish your son to be quiet. Most kids will naturally come down to your volume level. It's hard to scream and listen closely at the same time. :) If he has trouble understanding the difference between loud and soft, maybe teach him some songs that go from quiet to loud and back down to quiet. Good luck.

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A.P.

answers from Norfolk on

Dear L.,

I'd ignore his screaming when you can; he is testing his voice and looking for your response. Kirsten gave you great advice for the future. He's probably not quite talking at this time, he just likes he sound of being loud.

If he screams in public, you probably are thinking that people are looking at you and wondering how you are abusing him/why you can't control him better. Actually, they are thinking "I remember when my child was that age and liked to scream. I had a headache for 3 months." At one, he is probably not ready for explanations about why his behavior is inappropriate. Either ignore him, or remove him from the setting if you are getting too many dirty looks. You probably aren't taking him to too many concerts, plays or museums in which is screaming is inappropriate.

After awhile, he'll give it up when he is not getting a reaction from you or his throat gets a little sore. It may take awhile. . .

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C.F.

answers from Charlotte on

It's a phase. My one year old little boy started doing it just b/c it's a new sound, and he still likes it. Now he is just about 2 yrs old and only does it when he's extremely overexcited happy, or when he's really mad, but even those aren't as frequent as they once were. Just keep asking him in a nice tone to stop doing that and you want to give your reason, I use ouch that hurts my ears, and he says sorry and kisses and hugs me. ( I have really sensitive ears and it does hurt mine. ).

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