What to Do About 71/2 Year Old Daughter's Christmas Presents?

Santa is broke this year. My son knows I am Santa. He knows we cannot have anything this year. We talk about free gifts like smiles, hugs, days off together. They are special and no one can give that special gift to us. He knows life will get better but not now.

Books? My 7 1/2 year old loves to read, she enjoys Junie B. Jones, Berenstain Bears, and some Fairy books. We've also read Charlotte's Web and Stuart Little with her-I will probably give her The Trumpet of the Swan and a few other books this year.

We also love crafts. Last year I gave her a paper making kit, and potholder weaving. I just took her with me to the craft store-she picked out a ton and I later chose a few.

I too get very tired of stuffed animals. Good luck.

Hi there!

Christmas is not the time to reach kids that they do not get everything they want in life.....there is enough time for that. I would get her the toy....but since money is an issue, maybe you could take some of the toys she does not play with now and sell those on ebay to earn the extra money for the toy.

Good Luck!

Hi J.,

Let's first be thankful that she's not into Hanna Montana! I played with the dog while in Toys 'R Us one day and thought it was really cute. I don't know if it's worth the price, but it's worth the look on your daughter's face when she unwraps it. Biscuit is on sale on Amazon.com for only $149.00 right now, plus I think you get free shipping. A couple deal sites I use are www.fatwallet.com, www.pricegrabber.com, and www.slickdealz.com (for future reference). I looked on all of them and found that Amazon has the best price. I hope this helps. Merry Christmas!

Kmart has layaway- and maybe you could have family members chip in? Make it a family gift?

If you can't afford the toy, don't buy it. My 8 year old wants a Wii for Christmas but he's not getting it AND he knows it. I'm sure he will still pine for one in the months to come, and it will feel awful knowing that some of his friends have one while he doesn't but the fact is that we can't afford it. Once your daughter realizes that it's not going to happen, she will have a better ability to shift her focus and select something else. Give her a toy catalog and tell her to circle items that she is interested in (omit those out of your price range). Also, once our son began earning his allowance, his value on material items began shifting. He better understands spending limitations. As for Christmas itself, I'm quite certain he will enjoy the spirit of Christmas without the Wii under our tree.

Two of my kids who are 6 and 3 also asked for Biscut, although I think they realize he won't make it to our house. Like the others said there are other Fur-Real Friends there's a smaller dog that rolls over and stuff. If you don't have a real dog at home is that the attraction that it's most like a real dog to her? If so, maybe you could call a pet store like Happiness is Pets and see if you could take her there to help with the puppies for an afternoon-play with them and feed them? Just an idea.

My 6 1/2 year old also wanted Biscuit. We just simply told her that Santa can not make or afford presents that are that expensive. She seemed to understand and we helped her generate a new list making her really excited about something new. $180 for a toy like that is insane! And, like you said she will only play with it for 2 weeks. I agree with your husband - don't feel guilty!!

I really don't know what Biscuit is however I think Christmas is a magical time of year. Tell her that you will not be buying as it's too expensive so maybe she could put it on her Santa list. We are doing this with something my daughter wants from american girl. We will not buy it for her "so to speak" but Santa is and the look on her face when she comes down Christmas morning will be priceless however if it does not fit into your budget then that may be a different story. Since she really hasn't asked for much and if you won't go into debt buying it, then I say go for it!!

We have a tradition of having our kids make out a Christmas list for Santa, a very long one. We make sure they know that they will not get all items on the list and yes Santa checks for behavior and may choose to get gifts to help change behavior or fewer gifts. This way when they do get things from their list there is not and expectation that they will get "the Toy" as I am not willing to spend tons of money for an item that will be used for such a short time, spend my precious time on earth waiting on line at a store, and get anything that I feel is not worthy of their time. They get a few presents from Santa and a few from Mom and Dad. We have 3 kids and this year our entire budget including family and our kids is 550.00. So if it doesn't make it into the budget and still fair for all then it won't get purchased.

I started when my dd's were little telling them that Santa only had so much money to make all of the toys and if some kids asked for and got things that were too expensive to make, then maybe he wouldn't have enough money to make toys for other kids. That seemed to satisfy them for a long time. Of course, now that they are older, they know the truth about Santa and know that they won't be getting certain things on their list.

Hi J., I wanted to put my 2 cents in to this one because I have 3 kids ages 14,9 and 6. In the past years my kids usually get 1 big item that they ask for. This year it just cant happen. I have been out of work since Sept because I had brain surgery. And my husband is on Workmans Comp due to an injury. So we are really having a hard time here. I dont know what we are going to do. Wednesday night they all handed me their x-mas list with all of these expensive things on their and my heart just broke knowing I woldnt be able to get anything on their. Like I said usually I would get 1 of those things on that list! So if she really wants that dog and you guys can afford to get it for her, then I say get it for her. And feel blessed that you can buy it for her. And then if she doesnt play with it in a couple of months then she just doesnt play with it. I know alot of kids that does that. It just happens like that. Good Luck to you and your family and God Bless.

They do have those furreal pets that make sounds, but they aren't as interactive as biscuit. Do you have a few family members like a sister or grandma that would be willing to put $20 towards the gift. Your daughter is old enough to also understand that because the gift was a big one that she wouldn't be receiving more than the three gifts this year. It is hard. My 10 year old wants ugg boots. Are you kidding me? So I told her to ask my sister, my mom and my aunt for them. They would all go in on it and she will only have that one present, but if she's okay with that then go for it.

Two years ago my son was 5 and all his older cousins were getting a DS from Santa. I not only couldn't afford a DS but didn't think it was appropriate for his age. My family offered to buy a DS for him "from Santa". I asked around my more video game savvy friends about a video game device that would be good for a 5 year old. That year I was lucky and they had a big sale at Toys R Us for GameBoy Micros. So when all his cousins got a DS my son got a GameBoy Micro.

My son asked once about why he didn't get a DS and I told him that Santa and I agreed that he was still young for it but Santa thought the GameBoy Micro would be better. He was slightly disappointed but that quickly faded and loves playing his Micro. He just got "upgraded" to a GameBoy Advance his past birthday but plays with both the Micro and GBA systems equally. (I am so not paying $130 plus money on games for something my son will break because he isn't old enough for it and won't be buying some of the stuff he'll play with for a few minutes and toss aside the rest of the year.) My son is extremely happy with the gift he got from Santa even though it wasn't exactly what he wanted at first. If you tell your daughter that Santa knew she really wanted Biscuit but chose a different gift (that you know she will play with for longer) especially for her that he thinks she will like better she most likely will be just as happy.

I think getting gifts that will be tossed aside and quickly forgotten not only teaches your child to be feel entitled to getting whatever she wants but makes them ungrateful for the more thoughtful gifts. Life lessons are good to be taught anytime. Good luck.

Hi,
evryone is right about a family gift but seeing as she still BELIEVES (which is great) you may put in the Santa letter (if you don't get it) that Santa is very sorry but when he was making her Biscuit the line broke so he was only able to give her something else. A Furreal Friend is a great idea. Btw my 8 yr. daughter still believes so keep it alive as long as possible:) It makes X-mas magical for all!
Good Luck in your decision.
B.

I agree with your husband, that they do have to learn we don't always get everything we want. Three years ago my son wanted a gecko terribly. He even came home one day with a Gecko crossing sign he had bought with his dad! I checked into it, but after taking care of his hermit crabs for 3 years, a dog and a huge fish tank I didn't want to take on that much more responsibility, which I would have had to do since he visits his dad alot. Christmas morning he could hardly wait to open his presents, but on his card from Santa it said it was too cold in his sleigh for a gecko so he wouldn't be getting one. I don't think I ever heard anything more about a gecko after that and he survived without it! Your daughter will be fine if she doesn't get her toy dog too!

Since you say you don't have much else for her, let her have Biscut the Dog. I agree that children should't get EVERYTHING they want, but for heavens sake, it's Christmas. You might be surprised and she might love Biscut and sleep with him and be best friends with him until the day she gets married. Get her the dog, please!

I agree with your husband. I have a 7 y/o as well who wants a Nintendo DS for Christmas. Well, he's not getting it and we informed him. We have cut a lot due to the economy and functioning on one income. This year we have put more focus than ever on the spirit of giving and helping those less fortunate than us during the holiday season. We started last month by going through toys that aren't being used and passing them on. My children understand that they can make a list, but will only receive one item and it may not be from their list.

My son has started to save half of his allowance to go towards the purchase of a Nintendo DS and the other half goes into the bank. It will take him a while to hit the $100+ price tag, but we have agreed that we will pay for half of it when he hits the halfway mark (he doesn't know our plans). This is allowing me time to slowly save up for it on my end as well as teaching my son that we can't always get what we want. The best lesson is learning to save money for the future as well as for things that you want but may not be able to afford right now.

Another avenue that you may want to try is joining an online group called Freecycle. www.freecycle.org The website will help you locate a group or groups in your area to join. People post items to give away instead of throwing them away where they end up in the land fills. You can also post "wanted" items once you have posted an offer. You never know what others are willing to give away. I was lucky to receive a brand new dollhouse for my daughter's birthday that was offered on freecycle. Many times, toys are posted that children really didn't play with and are practically new. Good Luck!

Hmmm well I don't know about the Biscuit dog but I do know that when I was her age I loved stuffed animals and in fact played with them the way other girls played with dolls. So I agree if the price of Biscuit is outrageous maybe a different one. However, I also remember I NEVER got what I asked for, always a substitute, or something for a younger child or a different child, and that had quite an effect on me. (a negative one I'd say) On the other hand if it's a status thing-I'm not into giving into that at all. I guess it's a balance between what our child really wants and what is reasonable. If this is the main thing she really wants, maybe you get it. If she doesn't play with it much, that is her choice. But I wouldn't get her a bunch of other stuff she doesn't want instead, because in your judgement it isn't what she'll really play with.

If you can't afford it then no. people wear out credit cards and go in debt to make thier kids happy. Go and buy her crafty stuff that you and her can make together. She will have better memories of doing things with you . Those will last forever and not 2 weeks. Me and my step daughter bonded over crafts and projects. She is now 30 and still talks about our times doing crafts.... she also says my mom never took the time to do that with me . I also have great memories of our time spent, by the way she was 7 whan I married her father. One thing kids can never get enough of is time spent with thier parents . She may be disappionted at first but once you and her start a project and plan the next she'll forget all about well I don't remember what you called it .... SEE I"VE FORGOTTEN IT TOO ALREADY. GOOD LUCK

Do you have your daughter look at the tons of toy catalogs that come in the mail? I sit down while my kids go through them an just take mental notes (or written ones).

I agree that Christmas is not not the time to learn life lessons about not getting what you want. Especially since the gift is from Santa, not you. Get Buscuit from Santa, then just a couple small things from you. Homemade gift certificates for future items (movie, trip to zoo, etc.) can eliminate the spending this month.

I intentionally get only a few gifts for my kids, budget limits or not. I get them about 4-5 gifts for Christmas, plus one special thing from Santa. My 2 girls each wanted a Nintendo DS ($130 each plus $30 games). Since that $320 is not in the budget, I campaigned to my wealthy mother-in-law to get them.

Kids can get excited about the cheapest toys. Just walk around the stores (or those catalogs) and take notes. You'll find plenty of things within the budget. Good luck and happy holidays.

this may be a stretch but what about getting her a make it yourself kit of a bear? Not going to build-a-bear but a kit from Hobby Lobby or Joann's. This way she would have a hand in making the special bear. There are even sound pieces you can put in the bear with special songs, sayings, etc...
She may find that this is something she could do again.

J.--It is a hard issue. As the mom of a great 11 year old daughter whose Christmas list is usually very humble, I learned that buying things they don't ask for is usually a waste of money. Their interests are just different!Disappointment is a part of life, but if there is a way to make it work this Christmas, I'd suggest you do it. We got all of the aunts,uncles and grandparents to go in on a big ticket item, and she got the thing she really wanted and I had nothing to put away after Christmas (whoo hoo!!) Truly, they were all a lot more excited to be a part of it. But you have to stick to the one gift thing and resist the temptation to buy another thing etc! IT IS a life lesson to learn that you made a poor choice, but she may feel great! That being said, I offer three toy suggestions for that age group that are fun and not 129.99
**Webkinz. Stuffed animals 9.00-14.00. They have interactive Web sites (quite safe secure) that allow her to name them and furnish their imaginary house, decorate for Christmas etc.Some classrooms use these to teach math, responsibility etc.Only get if you will use the internet, otherwise they are just a stuffed animal.
**Pixel Chix. 19.99-29.99 Small electronic girls, homes, pet shop, mall, cars. If you can get past the annoying voices, they have interractive pets also. Hammie the hamster and a dog, and a cat. These can interract with other girls' Pixels, so we bought one for each niece. My girl enjoyed these from 71/2 to now, though not as much these days sigh!
**Littlest Pet Shop. This is those little plastic animals, and was very hot with the 8-10 year olds. There are new interractive ones as well. Walmart sells seasonal ones that dress for holidays etc. I'd love to hear what you do. Best of Luck!

J.-

It's interesting you say this! Last year when my stepdaughter was six she got the Fur Real Friend Butterscotch the pony. She played with that thing for 30 minutes. That's it! The pony was $300 and it was big! We had it in our basement for the last year, she's never talked about it or asked for it since. In fact, I had a recent post about selling it on ebay.

We've been working hard at teaching her that she does not get everything she asks for, or everything she wants. If you know she won't play with it, then it's NOT worth the 30 minutes of smiles followed by the year of ignoring it. And then YOU feeling like you just wasted a lot of money.

Also, you buying it and then selling it when she's lost interest is teaching her to be disposable with her toys and not be happy and USE the thing you spent a lot to get her.

I try to buy her toys that I know she'll get use out of. She ask for Barbies and Webkinz all the time but truth be told she plays mostly with arts and crafts. She has so many Barbies and Webkinz and she doesn't use half of them.

Kids at that age also don't know what's best for them, but YOU do. My stepdaughter was only mildly excited about the scrapbooking kit I bought her but the the thing she plays with the most often...the scrapbooking kit! She's always making something with it. The Webkinz she plays with for maybe an hour once a week. Same with Barbies.

I know you want to see the magical look on her face, and she'll have that no matter what.

Does she play with dolls now? Or, does she sing all day? Descide by what your child likes the most. You can't tell her that we can't have everything because we should be trying to build their self esteem into believing that they can get anything they work toward if they work toward it. 3 gifts are not going overboard for a 7-8 year old (good child). Xmas is the time for giving. If you have to cut back on you or hubby, sacrifice that but don't let her know you had to sacrifice. Make it a happy Christmas. You could take her to a church to help feed a meal to the less fortunate to teach her the differences between people who work toward what they want or need and people who give from the heart. Many lessons could be learned from that.

My daughter is also totally into this stuff. Granted, I know she would play with it a lot, and much longer than 2 weeks. However, with money super tight, it is not going to happen. She wants Biscuit as well as many other animals. We have told her Santa sometimes saves these types of gifts for kids that have had a really hard year, such as fires and sickness. She has accepted it. Of course, at 9 yrs old she is starting to question Santa but still believes. How about getting her a Fur Real puppy instead? I am pretty sure there is one that kind of looks like a puppy version of Biscuit. You could write a little note from Santa (which we did 2 years ago) telling her that you could not give her Biscuit because he had to go to a home for another little girl but he wants to be sure she gets a special gift. The Fur Real puppies are about $12 or so. Shop around. They move and wimper. My daughter had 3 - down to 2 because one was stolen. She still plays with them from time to time. Also, what kinds of things does she talk about doing? My other daughter wants a digital camera. She is going to get one of the cheaper versions because I don't see her taking great care of it and not spending $100 for it for a 9 yr old.

I think getting her a gift card to Target or Toys R Us would be good - then she can pick out whatever she wants! That is a very cool experience for a child "here's some money - go pick out whatever you want!". This is what my 5 year old and 7 year old nieces ALWAYS ask for! Good luck!

J., I think your husband is exactly right. It is so difficult not to give our kids everything they want but it is better for them not to get it. My sons are grown now and they always had less than other kids but we would just tell them we could not afford it. That is a fact of life and maybe we would not be a country in debt if we all learned that lesson a little better (I am in the front of the line!) They may get angry and they are entitled to those feelings. Allow them that but gently tell them you love them and get them all the things they need and some things they want. My kids have turned out to be so unselfish and kind. I would like to think it is because they didn't get everything they wanted but alot of love and all the things they needed.

Please try not to get caught up in the materialism of our society. It is so false and fleeting. I know it is even harder now than when I raised my kids.

You are doing the right thing by considering your family budget and not going over it. I like this saying I heard once, "Parents are the bone children sharpen their teeth on." So she may be real disappointed and tell you that but you are doing the best thing for her and your family. Give your husband a kiss! A.

Do you rhink your daughter would like a different, smaller "fur-real" animal? They have quite a few that I have seen in the toy magazines. I think she might be just as happy with an animal toy similar to Biscuit. You would even be able to get her two of the smaller toys with out spending a fortune.
This would also be a compromise with your husband's idea of "you don't get everything you want". I do think that is an important lesson, even at Christmas time. You have two other children to buy for and toys will just get bigger and more expensive as they get older.

Do not get something that you cannot afford and do not resell a stuffed animal. Kids get attached to stuffed animals and will notice if it is gone even if they stop playing with it regularly.

Perhaps Santa can bring your 7 year old a smaller more affordable stuffed animal with a story about it needing a good home.

Hi J.,

I wasn't sure what biscut the dog was until I went on Amazon and saw how much it cost. I see your dilemma now; that is one pricey stuffed animal.

I agree with your husbnd and most of the other posts that it's important to teach your children that in life we don't always get what we want, however, I believe that lesson is most valuable throughout the year not always on holidays or birthdays. Occasionally an expensive gift is not going to spoil her. It's Christmas, and if she's not asking for much and not being a brat about it or demanding it and it's within the budget, I would get it for her. If you simply can't afford it, then you just can't take food off the table and explain it that way.

Thinkfun has some great games for her age like, Rush Hour, Tipover and River's Crossing. My 6 year old son and 9 year old niece have these games and LOVE them. Check them out on Amazon.

Happy holidays!