What Time Does Ur 3Yr Old Go to Bed? HELP He Has Me Wrapped Around His Finger

Ohhh 3 years old must be a critical age...there were two very similar questions last night...may want to see if they got any good advice that you can use too! Good luck!

My boys went to bed at 10:00pm at that age and got up at 8:00am. I agree with Gidget, if you want him to go to bed earlier then you need to wake him up earlier. I would start waking him up 15 minutes earlier and starting his bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier each day until he is going to bed at the desired time.

730. Does he need to be in a bed now? Maybe that would help him be more independent. I wouldn't stay til he falls asleep, that is a hard habit to break. I leave water and books for her to look at and bring her a tshjrt of mine if she wants me.

If he is in daycare, put him to bed at 9:00. Give him a sippy cup with a little water in it and have a nighlight in his room. After your quiet night time routine, turn off the light and tell him goodnight. Walk out and shut the door. Don't go back in AT ALL. He will pull his same shenanigans for at least a week. No matter. Do not play his game.

If he comes out of the room, walk him back into his room over and over. Don't talk to him. Don't engage. He will get bored since you won't "give in".

You have to be 100% consistent or it will not work.

You can do this!
Dawn

Does he got to daycare during the day? If so, that will factor in. The daycares around me all seem to do a 12-2, 12:30-2:30 or 1:00-3:00 nap until age 5 and are firm on it. That really sabotages 8:30 bedtimes...by about age 4, all the parents seem to be fighting a 10:00 bedtime due to the darn nap (not quiet time) that the daycares require. If you son is in a daycare, it's something to consider.

There is a good article in this month's Parents magazine about childhood insomnia. It says to give your child two passes when the go to bed. One pass for one hug & kiss and one pass for one drink or bathroom. He can use the pass and after that is not allowed out of bed...silently return him to bed each time he arises. If he doesn't use the passes, he turns the in for a reward in the morning. It also said to move bedtime back to reduce it in 15 minute increments because you want your child to fall asleep almost as soon as in bed so that they do not associate the bed with tossing, turning and discomfort but rather with sleep and comfort. It discouraged putting a child into bed and letting them toss/turn for an hor before falling asleep, due to the negative associations with the bed as a place for relaxation and comfort. There were additional hints in there, too.

My 3.5 yr old goes to bed sometime between 8:30 and 10pm. She goes into her room/bed for "bed" at 8:30. On some days, she falls asleep in 10 minutes, on other days (like tonight) she's awake until 10pm.

While your son may not go to sleep at the time you'd like, you *can* teach him that once it is bedtime, you are not there at his beck and call. It's kind of the "older child" version of the Ferber/CIO method. My daughter gets a sippy cup of water at her bedside, and she knows she's allowed to get up and go potty (and to let us know if she needs help wiping). Other than that, we are not there to play with her, tuck her back in, retrieve toys, etc. However, she is allowed to "read" quietly or talk to her toys until she falls asleep. We do follow a bedtime routine where she gets plenty of attention before her 8:30 "bedtime."

at his age he should be getting 12 hours of sleep.. so.. if he wont go to sleep.. get him up earlier in the am.. or get rid of the nap.

if he is tired he will sleep.

My grandchildren went to bed at 8 at that age. You have to consistently have a calming bedtime routine which you enforce consistently. Spend a brief, perhaps 30 minutes, amount of time focusing on just him. Then tell him it's time to go to sleep and leave the room. Of course he'll do what you described. Ignore him. But first tell him that you're not going to come back in. If he gets out of bed, calmly, without words put him back to bed.

With time he'll learn that you expect him to be in bed at 8 and that you will not respond to his requests. Yes, he will cry. Let him. I don't much like cry it out but I suggest in this sort of case it's necessary so that he will not be able to wrap you around his finger. You have to be the parent, set boundaries, and stick with them.

My kids went to bed at 7P at age 3, (and are in bed by 8p at ages 6 and 9 now). I don't agree with previous posters that you need to wake him up earlier. Kids need a lot more sleep than they are getting. If you want him to go to bed earlier, start moving his bedtime up by 30 minutes each night until you get where you want to go. Give him lots of physical activity during the day, and a good bedtime routine: bath, snuggle time, stories, brush teeth and bed. At that age, I had the 2 strikes rule, I would go back in 2 times for the first few nights, after that, they were crying. It only took about 2 nights for them to get the message.

You can crack this one in a few "easy" steps.

1. decide what the bedtime routine is going to consist of. i.e bath, potty, teeth brushing, 2 stories, a sippy cup at his bedside, a tuck in and a good night kiss.
2. communicate this to your child.
3. be firm and unwavering about declining any further requests with a "not now, its time to sleep. When he learns that you won't offer any other response, it might help extinguish the requests. .i.e.

-mommy sit on the chair for one minute
- not now, its time to sleep.

-I need a drink
-not now, its time to sleep.

-i want another story.
-not now, its time to sleep.

- who do you think is better elmo or big bird?
-not now, its time to sleep.

- can I have cookies for breakfast in bed tomorrow?
-not now, its time to sleep.

4. This might sound counterintuitive, as your end goal is to get him to sleep earlier, but for the first 4-7 nights, put him to bed 1/2 an hour after the time he currently acutally goes to sleep. (if 10pm is bedtime, but he doesn't actually fall asleep until 11, put him to bed at 11:30).
5. the point of this is to establish a new, curtailed, and unwavering bedtime ritual with a child is ready for sleep.
6. do not adjust his wake up time, or the length of his naps.

6. Once your child is reliably going to sleep with the new curtailed bedtime routine at 11:30, start pushing his bedtime forward by 15 minute increments, till its at your more agreeable, prefered time.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B..

Start the bedtime routine at 8:00. If he bathes, do that earlier. Stick to it strictly. Once the routine is done, it's done. You don't respond to his calls. He's got you trained to respond to his every whim as if it's a need. Take care of all of his needs prior to bed time during his routine and he'll have nothing to call out for, and you'll KNOW it even if he calls out. You don't respond. If he gets out of his bed and/or his room, then you take him by the hand the first time and tell him firmly that it's bed time and you're taking him back to bed. Put him back in, tuck him in without saying another word, and leave his room.

The next time he gets up and every time after that, don't say a word. Just take him by the hand and lead him back to bed to tuck him in.

Repeat this every night until he gets it. It might not happen overnight. It's going to take a lot of repetition. It could take several nights but you have to commit to taking the time to create a new habit. It took a long time to create the current habit, so it will probably take some time to break it and create a new habit. Give it two solid weeks.

Start moving the time up 15 minutes. Create a bedtime routine. Make a list of everything he asks for, even involve him with it. Give him choices that get him to your goal of going to sleep. One thing I did is sit in the room in a chair with my computer. That way, I could spend time doing my thing while he fell asleep.

Get him up earlier and be sure to run him around a lot in the yard or play ground in the afternoon.
Start your bedtime routine earlier - about 7:30.
Do warm bath, brush teeth, get into pajamas, then snuggle up and read a few stories.
Then night light on, all other lights off about 8:30.
You can sit near him and read to yourself (use a book light, keep the room dark) for 15 or so min or until he's sleeping.
Gradually over a week or two move your chair closer to the door.
Then sit just outside the door.
By then he should be pretty good with falling asleep without you being right there with him.

7:30pm. If he's taking a nap during the day, stop it so he will be tired in the afternoons. Have dinner between 5:30 and 6pm, then straight after dinner give him a fun bubble bath. Then spend until 7:30 snuggling while reading some books and playing some soft music or lullabies. Have all of his "demands" met - drink, covers, stuffed animals, etc....

You have to change his clock, and it won't be easy, but it's possible with determination, consistency, and persistence. Keep the same routine EVERY night for at least several weeks, and don't let anything or anyone interfere. He will get there with time. Good luck!

Riley is right -- this has become a fun game for him. He knows he will get your attention by doing this things, and you are playing that game right along with him by giving him that attention.

He needs one firm routine that does not change. Repeat: Does not change. The same every night, at the same time. (And I think even 9:00 is way late for a three-year old both because he needs more rest and you adults need the evening together, even if just to rest from his demands.)

In the same order always, start putting him down with his bath, which you do not let go on and on -- it's bathtime, not playtime. Teeth cleaned and don't let that drag on past two minutes. Straight to his bedroom, no wandering to anywhere else. Pajamas and then you read him a book, maybe two if he's having trouble settling down. Then it's fine to turn off lights and sing him ONE song, perhaps. And then you kiss him and leave.

When he calls, go back after five minutes (do not let him get as far as screaming or crying). Then wait another 10 before you go back in. Then 20. He can call, and you will come -- but only after a longer period each time. Do not bring drinks;you are not a waitress. "You had a drink before bedtime." Do not adjust covers more than once in that first visit, not again.

You are going to have to do a LOT of retraining with him. Does he have reasons to feel insecure or worry that you won't come if he's distressed? Attend to him when he's really distressed, absolutely, but don't let him call you in repeatedly when he's just calling for the fun of this game.

Someone else said her child has a DVD player -- in bed?! Do not, do not let him watch any TV or videos of any kind within a few hours of going to bed. Even the gentlest kids' videos are still flickering images and studies have shown that they stimulate kids' brains -yes, even Elmo or simple stuff like that. No images that move, only books. I would not put any books or drinks into bed with him; he's old enough to learn to self-soothe and you have to teach him that. But it does not mean "cry it out" until he's in a mess either.

You need to be much firmer and stop playing the game, and keep to a very, very fixed routine.

Make sure afternoon naps do not go past 1:30 or 2:00. If he is not a great napper, give him quiet time.. sit in bed and look at books.. or play quietly.

Quiet dinner and ready for bath by 7:00.. Quiet bath.. no horse play, no TV before during or after dinner.. NONE..

While in that super warm bath.. give him a good rub down, with strong strokes.. back legs, arms, shoulders.. Like a massage..

then wrap him in his towel and change him into his pajamas.. again.. NO horse play. have his room darkened and quiet.. maybe soft music..

Read a book or 2 in low lights .. No engagement.. this means no questions, no discussing, the story, just him quietly listening..

You can rub his head, legs, ears.. whatever works for him.. while you read slower and slower as you get towards the end of the book.. make sure his blanket is there, he has had his last drink of water..

Then give him a kiss and tell him to go to sleep. We used to play quiet music. The close his door..

During bath time you can remind him that big boys grow the tallest while they sleep.

What time does he wake up in the morning, and what time do you need him to wake up? I think you need to focus on changing his "wake up" time, rather than his "to bed" time.

Tomorrow morning, wake him up about 30 minutes earlier than he usually gets up. So if he normally wakes around 9:00 and you need him to wake up at 7:30, start by waking him up at 8:30 tomorrow, 8:00 on Saturday and 7:30 on Sunday. If you do this, by Tuesday night he'll be going to bed at the right time.

You can start with elimination tactics. Put a sippy of water in there, make sure he has a few books, ect. My dd has a little portable dvd player. At bedtime she is allowed to watch a movie as long as she stays in bed quietly. She usually knocks out after 15 min or so, then I turn it off. Or I put a lamp on and give her a stack of books. Again if she stays in bed quietly She can have the books and have the lamp on. If she keeps coming out or is doing any bs in there, like coloring the carpet with markers, no light and no books, or no more tv. She does pretty good with staying in bed.

He also might be getting a little big for a crib. Maybe he would do better in a big boy bed? Or at least if he wanted something, like a drink of water he could get up and get it himself.

Since child care is under state regulations and they can lose their license if they don't enforce the nap/rest time for kids up to school age it is a given that all kids in child care will lay down for nap/rest time until they are in school full time. That is the law.

That said.....if a child falls asleep during nap time then thier body says they need a nap. They would not fall asleep if they didn't need to sleep.

Same thing if they won't go to bed at night. If you want your child to sleep until morning you need to plan on a 9pm bedtime. They go to bed, they're tired so they go to sleep quickly. Then they wake up around 7 am. That's a full 10 hours of sleep. They don't need that much at night.

If you want your child to sleep in the morning until a regular hour of the day for getting up then you have to give them a late bedtime.

So I have always said 9pm for bedtime. Babies, toddlers, 2 yr olds, 3 yr. olds, and the rest

We were in Italy when my son was 3, so hd went to bed apx 1am.

((In Italy, dinner is at 10pm or 11pm. Everyone naps for 2-4 hours in the afternoon. Toddlers tend to nap morning or evening. He still got his 12-15... It was just chopped up. Ditto, we went to sleep around 3ish & up at 8.))

At 3.5 (unless he's special needs, he's MORE than d enough to understand what's up. This has BECOME your routine / a game to him.

Clear simple directions & consequence & follow through.

As in, tell him you won't be coming back in, and then don't. Will he get mad? Probably. Will he their a fit? Probably. And then he'll get over it.

My son will be 3 next month.

We start with snack at 8.
Upstairs by 8:30
Jammies, brush teeth, wash face by 8:45
Story, and in his bed by 9

And, I'm starting to teach him to tell time on a digital clock, so he knows when the first number on the clock downstairs changes to an 8, it's snack time. He will try to delay sometimes, but we are really really consistent with the routine and don't give in and so that doesn't last long.

Oh, and a sippy cup of water is in his bed so no asking for a drink. And he can certainly put his own covers on by age 3. Once I'm out of his room, I'm out for good.

We've had this routine a long time, and you aren't going to get there over night. I like Fanged Bunny's advice on how to establish the routine so you can gradually move bedtime to a more reasonable hour.

my 5 year old is in bed at 7 (due to having to be up at 6 for school). before this school year she was in bed at 8.
i would tell him that its bed time. he doesnt need to go right to sleep but he isnt to make noise or get up. this is time to rest not play. dont go in there thats what he wants.

No later than 8, but usually closer to 7:30.

Well this may not help much but in my experience kids have sleep cycles that can be difficult to change. Both of my kids sleep about 11 hours to 11 and a half hours at night. One is a night owl and the other is a morning person. My daughter is 7 and has been going to sleep around 10 since she was 2. she gets up at 9:30 every morning. So she sleeps about 11 and a half hours every night and seems to need more sleep than my son. My son is 5 and has always gone to bed early. He goes to sleep by 8 or 8:30 most nights and is up by 7:30 or 8am. It doesn't matter what time I put him to bed he always wakes up then and if I don't get hi to bed early enough he is tired and cranky. My daughter goes to sleep around 10pm no matter if I have her in bed at 7, 8 or 9pm, she will lay there for hours, lately reading. I try to have her in bed shortly after my son but she still doesn't sleep, even if I wake her early for weeks she just goes to bed the same time and gets overtired and sick. I haven't had much luck trying to change their natural sleep cycles, so I end up with one in bed early and the other quietly reading which works out fine, but in the am it is hard cause i have to keep my son quiet until she wakes up or else she ends up getting sick. That doesn't work out as well, but he has now pretty much learned to be quiet in the am. What has worked for others is to wake the child earlier so they are more tired at night and can fall asleep earlier. If you let him sleep in the morning and/or nap in the afternoon, he will be tired at the same time. Kids usually need somewhere between 10 and 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour cycle. You can start skipping a nap if he takes one, and depending how long a nap he takes move his bedtime that much earlier, for example he goes to sleep at 10pm, wakes at 7am, takes a 2 and a half hour nap at 2pm. So just skip the nap and move bedtime to 7:30pm. Or if he doesn't nap, and goes to sleep at 10pm and wakes at 9am, wake him up at 7am, and move bedtime first to 9pm, he will be tired, but hopefully not overtired as that can cause a child to have difficulty sleeping. Then wake at 7am again and then move bedtime to 8pm. Do this over a period of about a week. I don't worry too much about bedtimes or wake times anymore as long as they get enough sleep. But if you need to change it due to scheduling, be consistent and it should work. I won't guarantee it because I have done it all with my daughter and she is still a night owl, but seems to work for the majority of kids.

I start at 7:30. So, before 7:30 we have completed going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, bath, pajamas, getting a drink and whatever she needs. We are both sitting in her bed at 7:30 and then I read some stories to her. She is usually asleep by 8pm. I give plenty of warnings a half hour or so before we start getting ready so she can beg to be up more and I can say things like ok, you can play that for 5 more minutes. Your son is now in a habit that you will have to try and break. Does he get to sleep in late? Does he nap? My daugher does not nap and wakes up around 8am each day. You might have to wake your son up earlier than he is used to to try and get him used to going to bed earlier. Make this a huge goal because then you get your evenings back and get some adult time!!! It's very worth it!