I was able to incorporate my most recent business trip with a visit with my brother. He is a single guy "renting" a room from a friend of the family who has been around for years. This has also been the arrangement for years. I know that they really split the costs of everything from the mortgage to purchasing new cars. I asked him to drive me a few miles into the next state for the actual business part of my trip. He just asked for mileage which my company will reimburse for (either that or a rental, and the miles were cheaper). I offered to pay for the gas too. This is where me and my hubby disagree. I think it was the right thing to do considering he caufered me around for 3 days. Someone mentioned on a previous trip.that you should pay for the hosts meal if you go out. That part I don't agree with. If I clearly say, I want to take you guys out, sure. But if you ask me where do I want to go, I assume it is everyone for themselves. Am I wrong? How do you normally do things?
ETA: I did stay with my brother for one night, and then the hotel the other two nights. When we were in the other state, he said with relatives though I offered to get a suite so we could share a room. I actually purchased food that I had with me so I did not have to eat out. But it was a Sunday and they always eat out so they asked me to pick knowing there were a few restaurants that I was missing (I used to live in the area). I paid for the gas and he'll get paid for the mileage. I feel like I could've done more, but I know when he comes to visit next year (he's already asked WAY before this trip, I don't expect him to do more). Thanks for your opinions so far.
I see everyone has a take on it and it depends on the relationship you have. My mother is flying in tomorrow and I realize she does not come out of pocket for anything (because that's my MOM, & we are better off) but when a friend of mine came up to stay, everyone was for themselves but I did not ask for gas. There are different scenarios and situations. However, I feel I should have done more. I am going to send a gift card to a restaurant in their Christmas card that I am mailing out this week. Thanks for all of the responses!
when I go to my inlaws, they drive. they buy the gas.
when the come here, I drive, and I buy the gas.
I think next time you should rent a car and you won't have to worry about that. I don't see what your brother living with a friend and sharing expenses has to do with anything either. Since he did take time away from whatever else he could be doing by driving you around for 3 days, I think you should have treated him out to eat as well. Its not like he "invited" you to visit as a guest, you imposed yourself on him and his car and his time since you were in the area for a biz trip. Just my opinion but I think you owe him a little more than just gas or milage.
I don't think there is proper "etiquette"...I think it all depends upon the individual situation. When my daughters come home to visit...or even when I go to visit them...it is all on 'My dime"...because my husband and I are much better off financially that our children are at this stage in their lives.
My late brother was a VERY successful businessman...lived far and above any standard that I would ever resonably aspire to. When HE came to visit my parents...HE paid for everything because he was financially so much better off.
I would hope that family would just figure things out based on "need"...and not worry about "etiquette".
I agree that you should have remibursed him for the cost of the gasoline for taking you on the business leg of your trip. It isn't clear whether you were staying with your brother and his friend or whether you were staying in a hotel .
All things being equal...financially...if you were staying with them and eating at their home then I think it would have been only nice to offer to take them out to dinner and pay the entire bill.
I'm a little confused.
That said, if you are out of town on business, any person (relative or not) should not be expected to drive you around and pay for your meals.
I have a friend who travels here on business quite often. She has stayed with me, she has stayed at a hotel.
When she's here, she always takes my son and I to dinner. She pays for it. It's actually on her expense account. If we ask her where she wants to go, she still pays because it's more of asking WHAT she feels like eating. She doesn't know the restaurants here.
I guess the lines get blurry when there's a difference between business and personal family visits.
Expense the meals and mileage. Just my opinion, but I think that's the right thing to do.
If you are paying mileage, that is to cover the cost of both the gas and wear & tear on the car. So the right thing to do regarding that is either gas OR mileage but not both and since your company will cover the mileage that would be the right thing to pay.
As for meals, I think it depends. If "your host" is chauffering you around and especially if they are not being reimbursed for his/her time, it makes sense to at least cover the meals. Now if by "host" you mean that you are staying with them instead of hotel and they are providing your meals when you "eat in", you should at least offer to cover their meals when you are out. If they are letting you stay there but you are covering your own meals, then maybe take them out for meal but not obligated to for the whole trip.
If my sister (or I) say let's meet for dinner, then I assume everyone is paying for themselves. But if she says we want to take you guys to dinner, then I assume dinner is on them. What usually happens is we put it all on one bill and then either we or they pick up the tab, but the next time, the other will pick up the tab. I think we feel equal (at least I do; I hope they do also) so it's never been a problem. By the way, neither my sister nor I would have ever asked for mileage. We would have taken you up on your offer of gas, but not mileage.
since you asked him to drive you than I agree with paying for the gas, if you were going to do something together that would be different, and I do believe that the guest should buy at least one meal for the host, since most often the rest of the food is purchased and prepared by the host.
I agree with paying for the gas. I probably would've given him a few bucks to grab lunch while I was in my meeting since he would be waiting around.
As for general going out to eat, we always decide before we get to the restaurant whether someone is treating or dutch. When we go out for more than one meal, we usually rotate turns. If John paid for Outback one night, then we would pay for Olive Garden the next night.
This sounds more than just "visiting" since this is a Business trip and he is doing you favor. If he didn't live there I assume you would have to rent a hotel and car. Not sure how many miles is a few miles but his time is worth something so I'd probably give a meal or pay for gas ontop of the mileage.
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