Mamas & Papas -
Take a look at the questions asked recently, "Sex & Marriage" and "I'm fine, my husband wants more." Seems to me that in both instances hubs libido was stronger than the poster's. The dynamics of each relationship (as posted) were different, as was the advice offered. Becky was told to schedule more relations, if necessary, while Diane was told to take him up on his offer of divorce.
Care to share your thoughts on these differences?
Thanks,
F. B.
Did you read both of those posts?
When he didn't get sex or a BJ, Diana's husband picked fights call her names and belittled her as well as took it out on their child.
The husband in the other post seemed awesome except he kept asking to have sex more often...
Seems pretty clear to me.
One was being abused in what should be a loving, respectful relationship. The other was seeking to find greater harmony with a partner in an overall happy, loving, respectful relationship.
Diana's relationship is disfunctional. If she doesn't give her husband BJ's he flips out on her and treats her poorly. She is having relations with him twice a week but he is demanding more. He is acting immature, not helping around the house, and bordering on abusive if he doesn't get what he wants sexually.
Becky's husband sounded like a partner. He was being very helpful around the house, they are a team. She didn't say he acted like a big jerk when she turns him down, but that he is TALKING with her about his insecurities.
It's like trying to compare and apple with a slice of steak. Two totally different things.
L.
pretty easy, really. the one poster was being subjected to demands and threats, the other was being deluged with love and help and attention and a wistful request for more closeness.
with dynamics that different, it only makes sense that the suggestions would be way different.
khairete
S.
Those relationships were too different for a comparison of the nature you are suggesting.
Now, if both husbands were kind, loving, helpful, affectionate, etc. and one husband said I would like more sex and left it at that while the other husband said I would like more sex and if you don't agree then perhaps we should divorce, I could see comparing the answers to the questions. I'm sure they would have differed a lot less than the original questions you reference.
I think all relationships are one sided one time or another or lots. If a man does hard labor all day then comes home he is going to fall asleep at the dinner table. If the wife was wanting "it" all day then here he is asleep it's going to get tiresome for her.
It follows the same with her. She was doing way too much and falling in bed snoring. She is too tired. They need to plan some one on one time each week.
BTW, moms and dads. When the kids grow up and go off to college it's just going to be the 2 of you. What will you talk about? What will you do with your evenings? What interests do you share?
Sex isn't everything but to get to it there must be some intimacy in the relationship. Go swing on the playground, splash around in the sprinkler when it's watering the grass, play together, watch a movie snuggled on the couch, do stuff together then sex will come easier.
