What Do You Think About Letting a Child Go in to the Labor Room

R.,
I'd say no. It was different when women gave birth at home and their younger children could wander around their house, in their comfort-zone and then go back and forth between the delivery of the baby and playing with their toys in their room.

A hospital room isn't made for young kids and even if you don't have any complications it's still too long of a time to ask a 3-year-old to be good.

Nope nope nope. I don't think a child needs to see her mother go through labor and delivery. I'm sure there are lots of moms out there who think it's such a beautiful experience for their children to be part of, etc etc. I think it's just too much for little ones, however. So overwhelming. Let her stay outside with Grandma and then make a big deal out of her being the first one to meet the new baby, get her a big sister t-shirt to wear. She can carry flowers and balloons for you and the new baby from the gift shop of the hospital to your room...these are things she'll be proud to do and will help her to feel special and included.

Hello:

With hospital liabilities there is a chance they won't let her in. Other things to consider - 1. Seeing you in pain may be very upsetting and she could posibly blame the baby for hurting mommy. - 2. Unless she came in right at delivery - the wait could be long and a 3 year old is going to get very restless. - 3. If you deliver at 2AM will you be waking her for the arrival? - 4. You're going to be a little preoccupied and if she keeps asking "where's the baby" or any other question several times over, are you going to be able to stay the calm soothing mommy that you probably are on a daily basis? I mean, most women are not at their best during this time and depending on your delivery, you could handle it all very well or be irritable and trying to concentrate on getting that baby out!

My delivery was smooth but there were a few unexpected complications with the baby once she was out (she got through and is great). Had I of had another child I would not have wanted her to see me cry. Also, my sister-in-law's first 2 deliveries were great and she had the best disposition. She said after her 3rd daughter that had that delivery been her first, she would have never had another child.

You just never know exactly what you are getting yourself into. On the flip side a friend of mine unintentionally delivered her 5th child at home, with her 10, 8, 5 and 3 year old around.

As a pro, she said the delivery was relatively mild but she definitely recommends a hospital without little ones around - her 6th and final was born at the hospital. Her 3 year old kept trying to see what was going on and fortunately her 10 year old was a lot of help.

Personally, it would not be my first choice - but wishing you the best and let us know how it goes.

T.

I don't see anything wrong with it. My son was 2 1/2 when I had my second and he came in and out a few times but didn't stay...it was long and got late. Plus we had some complications. Just make sure if she is with you that there is someone who can take her should things get complicated or too painful. You don't want her to see you "getting hurt" by her new sibling..it may cause resentment. But as long as everything is going smoothly and you can mask the pain then go for it!

Well, I'm shooting for a homebirth with this baby. I am planning for my daughter to be present, but I will let her dictate whether or not she wants to be present. I don't think I would feel comfortable intentionally excluding her, afterall, we're all welcoming a new family member. That said, we'll also have someone here who is her designated support person (my mother, most likely). If my daughter starts getting too upset or whatever, my mother will take her out for ice cream or to the playground or something.

Now...in a hospital...not sure I would want her there. With all the restrictions and interventions done in a hospital, you're going to be more in pain (unless you get an epidural, I guess) than you would be at home where you can labor according to instinct. I also think all the monitors and instruments would be more frightening...

I think your daughter being at your regular prenatal exams is one thing (my 3 yr old daughter went to all of my exams with me), but going thru labor & delivery is completely different. Seeing mommy in pain would be hard to understand and scary for a 3 yr old. Plus, when you are needing to focus on the task at hand, the last thing you want is to be worrying about your daughter.

R.,

I think that is a wonderful idea and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. First of all, it will not be traumatic. Kids don't know trauma until they are taught to be freaked out by certain things (blood, etc). This is a great opportunity to let her be a part of your new addition and also to get a glimpse into the medical world. Studies show that for most women to become interested in science related fields, they have to become interested and be influenced before they are 10 years old. Beyond that age, studies show that they are pushed certain direcetions by society in general and may shy away from these types of roles. So, that said, I think what you are doing is a great idea. My husband has our 2 1/2 year old learning body parts (he is in medicine) and wants our son to be involved in the birth of our next child also. It also depends on the type of birth!!! If C-Section and they will allow her in, great. If normal birth...that is a bit tougher, but still your call if you think she will be ok and will understand what is going on. I think it is great when kids are told honestly...not "from the stork" about babies and such...so that would be a way for her to really understand, but only if you take the time to really go through it with her. If normal labor, that is a tougher call though...

Congrats!

It might be hard for her to see you going through labor. It was 24 when I saw my sister and it nearly traumatized me. Plus, the Dr./nurses probably aren't going to let her in anyways.

Even if she is a good girl, the labor coach should be helping you, not babysitting, and you should be focused on delivery, not worrying about her.

If she hasn't neen to your physical examinations, those are extremely mild compared to delivery. Besides, you have no idea how long it may take. She will probably get whiney, hungry, have to go to the bathroom, want to touch the medical equipment or jump in the bed with you... during the process.

i personally would not want my child in the room....when you are in labor you need to concentrate on what is going on, & not have to worry about her. plus she might get scared to see you like that. & god forbid you have any kind of complication you would not want her in there......i am not even sure they would let her, i think there may be an age requirement like they have in the icu & such.

I know that you wouldn't be able to have your daughter in the operating room if it was a C-section but I don't know about a regular delivery. The hospital may not allow it. If you haven't already, make sure to ask your doctor ahead of time. Only you can make that decision about what you think your child is ready for. Its a great experience to have a child, but your child may not understand why mommy is screaming, crying etc. etc. You have a job to do while you are trying to get that little sucker out without having to be worried about your other little one. I don't think I would ever do it. She can see her new little brother or sister right after she is all checked out and cleaned up, and it will be just as memorable without the nightmares:)

If you're going all natural, then I would have to say no. If she sees you in lots of pain, she may not understand what is going on and THAT could traumatize her! On the other hand, if you're planning on having an epidural, then I think having her in there would be fine. If she's not seeing anything down there, then there is nothing to "traumatize" her. I witnessed the birth of my cousin when I was small and I enjoyed being there. It was a neat experience and I was the only one who had experienced it. I don't know what the hospital is like where you'll be delivering, but where I delivered my son, and will deliver my next child in Feb., I was allowed to have as many people in the room as I wanted. If you're delivering at a hospital with similar policies, then don't even worry about one of the hospital staff having to babysit, thats just silly. Just make sure you have another family member there to watch her. Also bring lots of stuff for her to do because I guarantee she'll get bored. I'd probably let my OB know ahead of time too...some hospitals are not as lenient with their policies as mine and you may not even have the option to have her in there. Anyway, don't let others get you down. If you want her in there, and you think she can handle it, then go for it!

My personal opinion is this HECK NO. I too have three year old and she would be terrified and very upset that I looked in pain.
I took her to the vet with our new puppy and the fecal sample part terrified her, she cried because someone was hurting her puppy.

I think even if your dd is very mature, she would always remember it not for the beautiful exp. but for the needles and hospital setting.

I brought my dd in after everything was over, she still found it difficult to handle . She wanted to stay with the new baby and her new family, even my very close friend's 7 year old had the same issue when her brother was born .

It is your choice but, you are not going to feel your best after birthI am sure, and 3-4 year olds are still preschoolers and have short attention spans . with all the excitment, you and hubby are not going to beable to devote all your attention to making sure she is comfortable like you would be able to a couple hours or even the morning after the birth
No matter how happy she is about upcoming events she is still going to have issues with it and seeing the birth may have a negative effect .
She needs a comfort zone and right after the birth and during your bonding time with the new baby, May lead her to feel more left out than included no matter how attentive dad or others might be .

Just my 2 cents
A.

I agree with what one of the other mom said - You know your daughter better than anyone else in the world. If you think she can handle it then there is no reason why not. I am sure you have put thought into ways of making sure she is fed, has napped, and an activity for her to do if she gets bored. Also, I have read that if young girls have witnessed a birth by around age seven, then they are more likely to not be stressed out about labor when they get older and its their turn. They aren't as anxious, or nervous, and are more likely to go a handle the whole situations better. I think it would be smart on your part to let her be in the room if the hospital/doctor allows it. Good Luck and Congratulations.

Hi R.,
I would allow your daughter to stay in the room up until you have to push.
I really wouldn't recommend her being in there for the pushing because it can be very traumatic for a 3 yr old even though it's a beautiful experience, she's too young to comprehend exactly what's going on and it will be hard for her to see Mommy in any pain.
I would just allow her to come in as soon as the baby has been born.
BTW, are you sure your OBGYN will allow a child so young to be in the room?
I know every hospital is different but I've never heard of a child being allowed in the room during the actual delivery.
Good luck with your delivery and your new baby!