R.,
I know what you mean. I used to fall asleep while breast feeding in the middle of the night and wake up on the couch with my infant 2 hours later in time for another feeding. He'd be asleep on my breast.
It always screwed up our sleep and our schedule, but it's hard to be up and down all night and if you're like me, you can't get back to sleep immediately when you DO get back to the bed, so just when you feel like you've gotten to sleep it's time to get up and run again.
I found that watching TV worked out for me. And strangely it helped get him back to sleep when he wanted to be up all night. Now, I don't condone letting kids watch TV under age 3 really, there have been studies that it's not good for their development, but during the first months until she's sleeping through the night, it really can come in handy.
Now as she gets more used to solid foods and goes down to one nighttime feeding, you can start cutting her off of the eating part. At that point she'll be getting plenty of calories during the day. I used to just rock my son back to sleep when he was 7 mos old and woke up for a 4 am snack.
Eventually I could just pick him up, hug him and put him back down. Then once the thrill of feeding went away, and then the rocking, and then the cuddling, and after a few nights where I just let him cry it out, he slept through the night.
I'm an advocate of scheduling babies. I was a stay at home mom for a year and I needed the naptimes for me as much as him. Sounds like you could use a little more rest too. You'll have a lot of people telling you to bond during the breast feedings, but there are plenty of breast feedings going on that you can take a few and concentrate on yourself.
Never lose yourself or your marriage in pursuit of being the best mom.
The best moms are well rested.
Another idea is to go to bed early and let your husband take the last feeding of the evening or sleep through the first feeding of the early morning and let him take that one. If you breast feed, this means pumping, and if you formula feed, it's a piece of cake.
This gives him a chance to get some of that "bonding time" while you recharge.
Hope this helps.
C. C.