What Do I Do??? - Houston,TX

I think that's a great idea! Maybe tell the teacher's aide you plan on helping for a few days. I bet she'll be glad to have the help... especially since it's before his regular class.

I have the same type of fears. My son will start K next year and I'm already worried. My husband is always telling me to relax! LOL:)

I think it would be great. If you are able to help for the first few days just so he gets the hang of things go for it. I really think the teachers understand too.

Good Luck!

K.,
I would do what I felt I should do for my little guy.
" the parent that other people talk about...." who cares what other people say.
If you want to be there, go for it. :)

As a proud Pre-K teacher, I understand the first day of school that parents want to make sure that their "baby" (always will be their baby) is okay and learning the ropes so to speak. While I am not trying to sound harsh, AFTER the 1st day, it is best to cut the ropes and let the little birdie fly. There is more than enough staff/aides that will ensure that your child will eat and be okay.

It is hard having parents come every day, I have observed that it becoming the parents that are having more anxiety than the kids. I have had parents that linger around and continue saying "Bye" as if they want the child to cry and get upset. This makes for a very hard adjustment and day for not only the child but the other children and then the teacher.

That's why on "Meet The Teacher" night I stress to the parents that I will be shooing them away. I stress that it is not to be mean but it is to help the child become independent and adjusted to the school setting.

Best wishes with your son's school experience!!!!

K.,
This is going to sound harsh - and I don't mean for it to. I was once where you are now. I was overly concerned about all the little details - now my boys are 24 and 21 and they have both been so mothered by me all these years that it made it real hard for them to grow up and leave the nest. Don't enable your son. Don't worry about what other people think. You're growing a man not a child.
Be logical about this...do you really think that the people who are taking care of your son will let him starve? No way! They're busy, but they are watching all the kids. And it's ok if your son has a few mishaps or has to struggle a bit to figure things out - this will help him in the long run.
Be strong little Mama! So that your boy can grow to be a man!
God bless and best of luck.
D.

Been there, the teacher and aid's along with the help in the cafeteria have been through this with hundreds of children. He will get a hang of it and will be real excited with he does all this. My grand son is going through this now and came home and told us all about it and was so excited he was jumping while he told us.

Well, I remember that my mother made the effort for the 3 of us girls when we were all little and starting school for the first time. She'd get us there a little early and help us walk through the line and made sure we got the idea how the system worked. OF course we had to carry our own tray and sit with our own classmates..but we all turned out fine...she never had a problem with a "crybaby" and the teachers were usually appreciative that there was at least one "caring parent" amongst the crowd. I hope this helps!

I would go with him. It is a transition for you as well. I have worked in preschools and lots of moms go with there child for the first week.

Although your son would probably catch on watching and learning from the other children, if you want to go in and walk him through how to do it then I say go for it! Why not? Youre his mom and looking out for his best interest. I totally would do it too. :) And who cares what the other adults might think...

K.,

I would want to do the same thing. I think it would be nice if you showed him how a couple of times. Teachers and Aids do have their hands full and don't always get to everyone as much as they would like. That is one of the reasons I home school, to make sure my kids get the attention they need.
Even if you stood back and watched him go through the line would be ok. It would give you your peace of mind.

I don't think that would be bad, as long as it doesn't disrupt his transition away from mom. Some kids have a hard time when the parents linger. But if he seems to be okay then I don't see why not. I would think the teachers would welcome parental involvement.

When it comes to your babies always follow your heart. It is no problem with making sure your child is comfortable before letting go. Enjoy the time that you can be involved, because at a certain age kids will demand that we let them go so enjoy while you can.

Hi K.!
I am sure this is more difficult for you than for your boy!
Our kids do so much better than we think when they are at school and with other kids around. They learn very very fast what they need, want and how to get it.

Just let him go and experience by himself. The longer you stay around the longer it will take him to figure things out.

what I do with my little one is that a lot of times I take him to Starbucks and he orders his own milk or cookie and he is the one that has to pay (I give him exact change). This is just a little exercise for him to start being independent and he absolutely loves it. He feels so important and gets a lot of attention from the staff which he also loves!

But again this is just one opinion, different things work for different families.

Good luck!

I say go until you are comfortable. Take a few days to walk him through the line and then take a few days to wait at a table and let him go himself. Lots of us "new" to the big school are doing the same thing. Take the time to get your little one set, their independance comes so quick.

You definitely go a week if you want with your child! The teacher and aide will appreciate you showing him the ropes and maybe another child. You will be setting him up to be independent! I know some moms who do it daily as a way to connect with all the kids in the class. Have fun!

Yes, go in with him. You'll beable to tell when his confindence is up and when he's ready to do it by himself. Just think, after a few times he'll be ready for the remainder of his school years.

good luck

I think you are perfectly normal to make sure he has perfected the art of getting his food before you send him off on his own. My nephew started pre-k on Monday (same times as yours) and she has eaten lunch with him everyday. Tomorrow he wants to do it himself but she plans on being there to watch to make sure he is able to.

Go with him; but make sure that he is doing "the work" all by himself. Don't do it for him, just guide him when needed. But, don't give the answers right away. Ask him questions, like what to do next, etc. Maybe eat with him! It could be a good time for both of you. Then, don't walk with him to class. Maybe even leave a few minutes before the teacher arrives to pick them up.

I don't see anything wrong with you helping out for a few days. Don't worry about being one of those parents ... maybe if more parents were involved, education for our children would be better. I live in a community where our elementary school is exemplary and one of those reasons is because the parents are so actively involved in the school. It is expected in our community. You just might find that the teacher and the teacher's aide will welcome you with open arms. And trust that they know it is the hardest thing for us parents: sending our babies off to school for the first time. My daughter starts preschool next week and I will be on pins and needles for the first few weeks. :P

If the school will allow you to help your son I think you should go for it. Not only will it help him adjust but you will also get the peace of mind you need in knowing he is ok. You should not worry about what others, including the teachers, think about you because your son is your priority and you are the only one that is truly going to look out for ALL of his best interest. God bless!!

Go with him a couple of times, see that he can carry his tray, open his milk, etc. But leave as soon as he's seated & eating. Good luck!

I think it's fine to spend the first few days with your (baby!) boy, helping him through the process of learning how to get his lunch. The reality is, the lunchladies are way too overwhelmed right now to help the little ones. And many a kid goes without eating (or time to eat!) until they figure it all out. As far as judgment ~ no one will even remember this in a few weeks. You would be seen as a caring parent by me!

i am sorry your having a tough time with him going to school. i would tell him what to do. the lunch ladies will help him. but at this young age you could go with him one day. and have lunch with him. it is really annoying when the kids are older and the parent dosent explain what to do for the kid and keeps doing everything for them. eventually they will need life skills...but one time showing him how to get lunch no biggie. ask him if he would like you too...he might say no but he might be excited and say yes!!! good luck.

You would not be overly protestive if you go and walk through the line with him for a couple of days. My son just started pre-k and he was having accidents-several per day. So one morning when dad dropped him off dad stayed around a while, they walked across to the restroom and dad made sure the lights were on and the toilet seat was down. After dad went over it there have been no more accidents. The difference is this: when you are helping you son out it's a "teachable moment" when you do it for him it becomes overly protective. Good luck!

I would just explain to your son that because Pre-k is new, that you both need to learn the ropes. You can give him a deadline that it will be for the first week. I am also a mom that wants my daughter to be independent, but I don't want her to be confused and frustrated. I now have a first grader. It is strange to have your child have a totally different schedule and you not be a part of it. But, they are growing up. Enjoy!

Hello-

I'm proud to be "one of those parents" and have yet to be shunned from the classroom, cafeteria or PTO:-)

Go in and help him, but make sure you are helping him to do it for himself and not doing it for him while you are there. Give him the confidence to know that the next time there is something new coming his way he can handle it whether you are there or not (but it's ok to be there!)

Good luck,
K.

I think whatever you feel comfortable with you should do. In our school, the cafeteria people/aides are very aware of the little ones and really focus on getting them through the lines. They have a list of all the kids with their pin numbers in case they forget. I have seen many Moms spend the first several days at lunch with thier kids to make sure they understand the process. If you decide to let the school handle it, I think you would be suprised at how smoothly things go.

Good morning K.! My name is M. B and I am 25, married as well I have one son name Joshua. I don't know what other mothers may say but I went to school with my son every day and ALMOST ALL the parents where there not all of them with thru the line. However I was the parent that saw with my own eyes bigger kids skip my son in line or he wouldn't know what he wanted. So I wouls stand with him in line until we got to the door of the breakfast area then I would walk down to the other end and coach him thru! I wasn't in anyone way, Josh didn't feel that I was babying him and the other students stop skiping him! Now this is second school year and I feel more comfortable with him in line by himself. So I hope and pray that this helps u and yur son!

P.S. Talk to the head cashier and make freindly convo about the situation and if she care she will help him as well!

I taught first grade in public school, and we went through EVERYTHING with them the first few days. Kindergarten does it, too. I would imagine Pre K does.

Every extra person in the school helped with Pre K lunch for the first week when I was teaching.

If you want to help, contact the school and/or teacher to make sure it's appropriate. I'm sure it would be fine for the first few days, but I also think there will be plenty of people to help.

***ETA I just read your "what happened"...The teacher IS being understanding because this helps their adjustment much better. Private preschool programs, where parents pay to take their kids, usually ask that you leave the child at the door, even on the first day. The clean break makes it much easier for the child (and the teacher) to get started with the day. It is always the children whose parents hang around longer that have the harder adjustment. She is not lacking understanding...she knows how things work. It truly IS better if you leave him at the door. Of course she didn't want parents in there - the day can not commence until y'all are gone. Sorry to be harsh- my son will start preschool next week and i'm a little sad, too. But I know from the other side how much better it is for parents NOT to hang around.

I'm sorry she acted that way. When my sister's daughter started school they treated her the same way. They didn't even want her to walk her to her classroom. Her daughter was just fine at school, she didn't cry or anything when my sister left. But she liked being walked to the classroom and it gave my sister an opportunity to talk to the teacher just to make sure things were going well. She was told she wasn't 'allowed' to do that. She asked what happens then if there's a problem, how does a parent or teacher get that across. She was told that if the teacher has an issue with a student that does not get resolved internally then they do not contact the parent, instead they write up the student in their file and the parent will be contacted that the child has been written up. Likewise, the parent can meet with the principle to discuss writing up a teacher.

Not an ideal situation. She had a lot of other problems with the school too. It's a popular/prestigious public school, too. She's homeschooling her this year for first grade.

S.

It's perfectly appropriate to stay with him. He's only in pre-K, for heaven's sake. Give him at least a week, and let him tell you when he's comfortable doing it on his own. The teachers' aides try, but kids can slip through the cracks.

I've completed my 15th year with Northside I.S.D., and have worked with 3-5 yr. olds. They do just fine. At my school, the teacher and I help the kids get through the line. They do well. You will be amazed on how well they get it.

No offense, by you being there, might do more harm than good. I've seen little ones cry, when their parent is with them, and as soon as they leave, they are fine.

Don't worry, he will be just fine.

I think that if is something you feel like you should do then do it! I would be the same way. I don't think that you are being the crazy parent who can't let their kid "go" but just being a good parent who wants to make sure their little one will get what he needs! I say go for it, your mind will be at ease knowing that he knows how to get his lunch!

I think you already closed this but since you are starting with school, I wanted to comment.
Each school/teacher is different but you are the one who knows your childs personality. Yes, you need to let go at some point but they need help during the transition. My oldest is going to college next year and I will be helping her move-same help during that transition!
Never let the school keep you away from your child-if we had more parents helping, some things would not occur.
Now I would recommend to follow the rules-always check-in. Make scheduled appt.s with the teacher to discuss questions-don't always plan to do them when dropping off/picking up cause all the other parents are doing the same thing. I used to volunteer once a week/month in the classroom and while there, just observed things and got to know the teacher/secretary/librarian/etc. and the other kids.
Even after my 2 kids moved on, they were always asking for volunteers in the cafeteria for the 1st 2 weeks of school. Those milk cartons are hard to open unless they have changed them!! When I volunteered, I helped all the kids-not just my own!! And some of these kids need to be encouraged to eat. I had to quit volunteering in the cafeteria cause I could not stand all the waste of food!! If those parents only knew!

Hi K.
that is a wonderful idea. I have always believed Moms should make their presence known in and around the schools as much as possible.
A few days won't hurt- you might even try not sitting with him so he won;t feel embarrased- just being in the back of the room or the cafeteria will comfort him -- soon you will be very comfortable yourself with knowing he can manage afew of these little things on his own.
Good luck and blessings

You could go a little early before the other children are in the cafeteria and walk him through the process. It's not crazy or over protective to teach children how to do things, and it sure makes it easier for them to learn! :)

K.,
I do not think you are crazy for doing that. It is a big world... and our kids are so little. I did that with my daughter when she went to PreK. I even spent time in her classroom during class. Yes, everyone talked about me.. but I really didn't care. I wanted to make sure my little girl wasn't scared..and she didn't have to always depend on asking, that she knew somewhat what to do. This is there first time, and they need the mommy help.

There is nothing wrong with being a loving concerned mommy! Ask your son if he would like you to go in with him ? Most kids that age would not tease him for having his mom there a few times! I used to show up to eat lunch with my son on occasion, he loved it, and there were always a few other mom's there! Go ahead, be a mom, you only get that opportunity so many times, and then they don't need you anymore! Mom of a 24 yr old!