What Can I Do with My Son? How Can I Help? I Feel Useless

You haven't said if you work outside the home? I assume you do since you said you need to get out the door earlier.

I'm not sure I can be a lot of help. But I'll tell you my thoughts.

Kindergartin is optional. You may not know that but it is.

It sounds to me that he needs to be in a good daycare with someone that will be able to help him mature more. If he isn't ready he shouldn't be there.

I know of some great programs that are inexpensive for him to learn on the computer. He would not need to miss out on anything and it's very doable for him to do his K year in daycare and move into 1st grade if he is matured enough by then.

Please feel free to email me privately if you want to discuss any specifics or just bounce ideas off of me. I've dealt with a great many kids that sound much like your son. I think the most important thing is to pull him out of an environment that is making him feel bad about himself and causing him to be even more clingy to you. He wants you to do things for him because he is overwhelmed and seeking comfort in being mommied.

Suzi

I just recently started a star chart at home with my 4 year old and it has worked wonders on getting ready for school, homework, dinner and going to bed. He gets a star for each of those things if he does them well. He loses a star if I have to continuously repeat myself, or if he throws fits. We do it Saturday through Friday so that at the end of each school week we can count his stars and see if he has enough (20) to get a treat. His treat can be goign to the bakery for a cookie, icecream, bowling, the zoo, etc. It depends on the week and the budget. He also earns stars on the weekend, and can earn extra all week long for going out of his way to do something nice.

As for school, have you tried asking his teacher what you can work on at home with him? Maybe a little extra time each night going over what he's learning will help. Be very positive and excited about what he's learning, and maybe he'll start to be positive and excited too. Good luck to you!

When he throws a tantrum in the morning and doesn't get dress then let him go to school in his PJs. Just let the teacher know ahead that you are doing it. You can either send a change of clothes in his backpack or just let him wear his PJs all day. Usually it will not take but a one or two times before he gets dressed by himself. Make sure that when you are with him that you can give a least some of you time fully to him and not be doing other things. I would highly recommend taking a Love and Logic course http://www.loveandlogic.com/. Their techniques really do work.

Your sons seems to be exhibiting signs of ADD/ADHD, if you truly have OCD, that is a distinct possibility. I would start with a visit to the Pediatrician for a good physical and share your concerns with the Dr. Your Dr. may be able to suggest non-medical therapies to help your son adjust.

My best friend had a similiar situation with her daughter, especially in regards to getting frustrated at school. She got a private tutor over the summer that worked with her daughter, teaching her at her own pace. She also enrolled her in Karate, which taught her patience and self-discipline. As for getting ready in the mornings, how about picking two outfits the night before with him, and then telling him to "surprise" you by getting dressed on his own and then coming to you when he's done? Something simple like that might help a bit in the mornings.

My son is in 1st grade at Moonlight through Gardner/Edgerton schools and while reading this you were describing my son. They have totally thrown out the card pulling system and put a new system into place just for him. Ask his teacher what options you have for him. They wanted us to put my son on medication right away (he has OCD/anxiety disorder. Diagnosed for 4 1/2 year and still no medication need!) I would love to tell you more,if you want to message me privately.

God Bless and I hope you find a system that works for him,

Erin

I am so glad to know my 5 year old daughter is not the only one with these issues. My daughter is very strong willed and is having a very hard time with her teacher, she gets a note home 3 to 4 times a week for tlaking to mucha nd not listening. She is very talkative yet when it comes to doing work she doesnt want to do it. I dont have an answers I wish I did. But know you are not alone. I would love to compare notes sometime.

C.
mom to lexi and layla
angel mom to zachary
gttp://zachayr-odle.memory-of.com