Weening off the Pacifier

Updated on October 07, 2009
K.B. asks from Rochester, NY
9 answers

Hello, my daughter is almost 18 months old and still uses her pacifier which is okay by me if it's naptime or bedtime. The problem is, the second any sort of problem occurs, my husband gets her the binky and then it's in her mouth for the rest of the day. I've learned to "pick my battles" so to speak and even though it bothers me it's not that big of a deal becuase she is still pretty young. I just don't want her to be one of those 3-year-olds I see out who still use a binky! Any thoughts, advice, ages when your kids got off the pacifier?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all your input! The hubby and I are now more communicative about her dealings with the binky and she's slowly getting used to not having it.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

Both of my girls loved their nunu's! My first daughter gave it up once she started to crawl/walk. She then only used it a bed time.She gave it up on her own a little before 3. She wanted to be a big girl when her little sister got here. My second daughter was similar. Mostly only for bed. She had to be hospitalized around two and a half, and we let her have them when ever she wanted then. After it was harder to get them from her. We did the nunu fairy thing. Once they were gone she only asked 2-3 times and that was that! When we found one we missed we asked her about it. She said, No! That's for babies! So the nunu fairy worked for us! Good luck! I know it can be hard!

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K.J.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
We had the Easter bunny take the binky - not sure if you celebrate Easter and don't want to offend - you could have the "binky" fairy come. What we did was have our son put the bink in the basket himself, then go to bed. We'd prepped him for several weeks about what was going to happen and the treats that the bunny would leave. The first night was 45 mins. of whining (not crying). Then in the morning the bunny had come and filled the basket with gifts. The bunny gave his bink to the baby bunnies because he was a big boy and didn't need it anymore, but the baby bunnies needed the binky because they were still small. My son is now 3 1/2 but he turned 2 in Jan. and we did it in late march or early april. You have time if you want to wait a little longer. However you do it, I'll offer one piece of advice. . . when you take it (or however you get rid of it) you must actually throw it out. You'll be tempted to give it back! And if you do that, your child will be confused if you try to take it again. Good luck! It may be a few nights of taking longer to go to bed, but overall it shouldn't last more than 3 - 5 nights. Maybe you could give your child a special blanket/stuffed animal to have in place of the bink. Let us know how it goes :o)

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L.A.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
I started to ween my son off the binky as soon as he turned 2. I began cutting the tip of the nipple every few days and by the 7th day or so he was off the binky. This past July 4th weekend my daughter gave hers up. She was 2 on July 31st. We were out walking down in LBI anbd she threw it out of the stoller and did not know it until we got back to the house and from that night on she was no longer using the binky...she would ask for it and I told her remember you threw it away down the shore and then she would forget about it...she would ask once in a while but by the end of the month she stopped asking for it. I hope this is helpful.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

My son was off by a 1 year. My daughter, thankfully, was never interested and spit it out immediately!!

what we did with my son was use a clip, and it started attached for a while so he could find it when he wanted it... then we started removing it when he was playing, and giving it back only at nap & bed times. when it wasn't readily available it was almost always a non-issue.

then one day we just said it was gone!! no problems, thankfully!
good luck.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

We were in the same spot a copule of weeks ago. My husband thought that my son was using it as a teether and would get upset if the baby was fussy and the binky wasn't in his mouth.

My son is a pretty good talker and has used the word "open" for some time. About two weeks ago, he said the word but it was completely muddled. I made a "casual" comment about how our son was becoming accustomed to talking with the binky in his mouth and may struggle with articulation as a result. It hasn't been an argument since-

He gets the "ging-ging" (his word) during naps and at night only. He's 16 months old- the first few days he asked for it constantly, but doesn't look for it anymore. The next step is ditching it altogether, but we'll hold off on that one for a couple more months.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

My youngest daughter was just about 3 when we pulled the plug. Her teeth began to shift towards the shape of her pacifier (eventhough they were orthodontist approved) - it was brutal but to be honest w/u it was well worth it - her teeth ended up going back to normal and although she would've given u anything for her nuk, we had to stay strong. My husband was the same way your's is, I think it's something that is put in them the first time they hold their little princess. Our girls are now 5 & 11 and believe me if there is any way that he can make a situation better for them, he's doing it. Even if it means going against what I said, but I really don't think they like to look like the bad guy in their daughter's eyes! Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
If he's not listening when you tell him that she is past the infant stage where a pacifier is used for soothing, and that it should not be in her mouth for extended periods of time, then I'd suggest either asking your pediatrician to tell him that toddlers should not have a binky during the day anymore ... or you may need to simply wean from the binky completely and throw them all away, so that when your husband goes to get one, there are none there.
My daughter never had a pacifier past 4 or 5 months, my son only used one after that point for sleeping or long car trip crankiness, and when he was somewhere past 18 months but less than 2 years, I took the bedtime binky away. He was a little whiny the first couple of days, asking where it was and I pretty much ignored him but finally after a few days of him asking, I told him, "You're a big boy now and big boys don't need a binky." He looked at me for a second and I thought he was going to cry! But he just said "Oh." and lay down and not another word about it
Good luck

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E.G.

answers from Rochester on

Out of my 4 kids 2 used binkis. I allowed them to have them until they were a little over 2. They were only allowed to be used for sleeping times after about 18 mo. That does not mean that if one of them was having a total melt down they did not get it until they calmed down. I found that worked OK for us, they could have lost it before that however. With both kids as soon as we took it away they were TOTALLY fine. The build up to it was far worse then every taking it.

One thing to also control the use of the binki was that we left a little "binki bucket" next to their bed. When they left their bed the binki went into the bucket. If they needed it during the day they could retrieve it from the bucket and then use it in their room. When they left their room with the binki still in and we later found it on the floor, coffee table, etc. we would hide it. Then they took ownership of "losing" their binki and the supply of binkis began to dwindle. That also makes getting rid of them a lot easier.

You and your husband need to be on the same page about all of this though. To help with your fight the next time you are out in public and spot the 3 year old sucking away on their binki point the child out to your husband. Ask him if he wants that to be his daughter at 3 (or even older). If he cringes, like I know I do then it worked.

Hope this helps.

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N.H.

answers from New York on

Hi Krisin,
Every baby is different, but now is a good time to start the binky weaning, while she is willing. If your daughter has no problem with giving up the pacifier, try not to offer it if she doesnt ask for it. Put it up someplace that she wont see it all the time and be reminded that its there. Maybe she'll start forgetting it at sleep times too. But dont forget to give it to her when she does ask, it may take a while for her to forget about it.

As for the hubby, I'd say, hide it from him too! When he goes looking for it, tell him she may have lost it. I know its frustrating to teach someone to be a parent when they think they know what they are doing and wont compromise.

I think that if you can soothe her without a binky, he should find a way too. See if you can get him to find his own way to distract her from any problems. Like doing something to make her laugh, toys, hugs help, and there is always tickling!

My oldest didnt take a binky at birth, but started her on it around 3 months. I was her nursing all the time, even when she wasnt hungry, just the urge to suck. As she got a little older, the only time she took the binky was when she was sleeping and didnt realize the difference. Its the only way she would stay asleep. I had to learn how to do the "slick switch", in one quick movement without disturbing her.

My second child took the binky right away and kept it until she was about 18 minths old, then gave it up herself. (I put it out of sight, and only gave it when she asked for it, until she forgot about it).

My third took the binky right away also, but refused it around 9 months old due to a stuffy nose. He couldn't breathe with it in his mouth, so he spit it out and never took it again. Lucky!!

My fourth baby, another little girl, never took the binky at all!

Good luck

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