"Weening" - Fowler,CA

I put bandaids on my nipples and told my 20-month old they were broken, and that the milk was all gone. Worked really well.

My daughter is 18 months and sleeps in our bed we are having the same issue. i have been through it with my son as well. So right now i am still nursing to sleep but am not allowing nursing in the middle of the night. she cried the first few night s but it gets better every time. but now since she cant nurse she has to have her hand on my boob instead. (baby steps) Your daughter will be upset and it will break your heart but once you get through it you will realize that your bond has not changed at all and you will be so happy to be able to sleep through the night!! Just do what feels comfortable nothing extreme. But once you tell her no dont go back because she will only cry harder next time you try. Good Luck

Does she like a bottle of hot milk? You could put a drop or two of vanilla extract in it at bedtime and she should love it. That trick worked perfectly when I had to stop nursing my son after being pregnant with my second child for a few months. As far as staying latched on all night, perhaps you can move her to a twin bed. I had the same issues with my son. At 11 months we bought him a twin bed (would have full blown tantrum if I put him in the crib) and I would lay down with him until he fell asleep then I'd get up. The bottle of vanilla tasting milk really helped. The whole thing only took a few weeks before he was sleeping in his own bed without a nod to nursing. By the time my daughter was born, my mother asked him if he wanted to nurse again and he emphatically said no.

Hi A.,
It sounds like your daughter is co-sleeping? That is probably why she wants to be latched on all night, because she smells and senses you are there. It will probably be easiest to wean her if you put her in her own bed. A girlfriend of mine went through exactly what you are talking about, and put her daughter (right around the same age) in a crib next to her bed, so she was still right there, but not in the bed. She said it really helped. Just remember that whatever you do, you will not be crushing your bond. You are her mommy and that bond can not be tampered with just by changing sleeping patterns or nursing. She will love you just as much and will look for comfort from you in new ways - cuddles, hugs, kisses. Good luck!

This is going to be very hard on you and your son. The best thing would be if you could just stay home with him until he is in kindergarten but if there is NO way you can do that then when he goes to daycare he will eventually take the bottle out of sheer hunger. It is very difficult to both bottle and breast feed a baby, but lots of people do it.

Good luck.

A.,

You say your daughter only needs to be breastfed at night and that she wants to stay latched all night long...have you tried a pacifier? None of my 5 kids ever used a pacifier and I have to tell you, I wish they did...3 of them were finger/thumb suckers...yuck! I was constantly washing their hands and couldn't just throw it away when they were old enough to stop. There are many advantages to the pacifier. Some babies want to hold a bottle all night long, that's not healthy for many reasons....so a pacifier really is a good option since she is having the need to suck all night long, which is normal. When she's a bit older, you can then take it from her. If she's only needing it at night, it can be a night time thing, like a blanket or buddy/baby.

You can't "crush" your bond with your baby if you are a concerned and loving mother, which you obviously are. An 18-month old should not need additional nutrition at night, so the breast-feeding is a comfort issue, not a nutrition issue. An 18-month old should be getting her liquids from a cup, as well. You need to wean (not "wing") her into a self-comforting behaviors. I think a pacifier might help you out, so might a special blanket or stuffed animal. Get T. Barry Brazelton's book called Touchstones. It's not all that long since 1/2 the book is questions and answers. It's incredibly helpful.

weaning is never easy unless they are ready to be done. I would suggest putting her bed close to yours and just patting her and talking to her quietly to let her know that you are there but not nursing. It shouldn't take long, I say a few nights and she will not notice. God Bless

I used the Sears method when weening my child. We had her sleep with Dad for a few nights, so she got lots of cuddles, but no nursing. She kept asking for "mimi" for a couple of weeks very consistently, but after that I could put her down for bed without nursing. This worked once she only nursed one time a day, I don't think it would work if the child is allowed to nurse at any other time.

--E.