Wedding Gift for Second Marriage!

You are very generous to want to give a gift and pay for the trip to attend their wedding. The couple probably realizes the expense to attend the wedding is gift enough. The wall hanging sounds great. I would not take anything to the actual wedding including a card - it will just get lost in the shuffle w/ their baggage and wedding 'gear' - send it with the wall hanging to their home. Another reason they may have said no gifts is b/c it would be hard (and expensive if they flew) to get them back home. They are lucky to have you as a friend!

You attending is the best gift of all. If you wanted and live close how about inviting them over for dinner later so you can all visit about the wedding?

I don't mean to be rude, but I find it quite baffling when people find it acceptable to not honor a request for no gifts, especially for a second wedding. When an invitation like this says no gifts, then it means NO GIFTS. Your friends will be very embarrassed to have you show up at the wedding with a present, especially when they asked you to not get them anything.

If you must do something, then take them out to dinner after the honeymoon, but please honor their marriage by not giving them a present.

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They stated no gifts please, so I would honor their wishes.

I think you are being wonderfully sweet. The wall hanging gift is perfect. Just bring a card - it's their 2nd marriage, so they're probably just happy and if they're not tacky people, they don't expect first marriage gifting the 2nd time around. Have fun!

I think the wall hanging is great and very thoughtful of you. I don't think you should bring something to the wedding, your presence is the gift that they're looking for.

I agree with the donation in their honor. You sound like you have two very considerate friends and I'm happy for them. Get a really wonderful card and enjoy yourself at their wedding!

They probably realize that your spending quite a bit to attend the wedding and your being there to help celebrate is what they truly want. I always thing a card is appropriate. You may want to consider making a small donation to one of thier favorite charities in celebration of ...

Since you are good friends with them, maybe you can offer to do something or purchase something for the ceremony or reception.

If you want to give them a gift even when they say No Gifts, I think that's fine, what you have bought is not a very extravagant thing and if you think it's perfect for them then maybe it is. You know them both well, right?

HOWEVER, don't bring it to the wedding. Etiquette says the gift window is up to a year after the wedding. Sending it before just obligates them to say something nice about it and "thank you" at the wedding which is just one more thing to remember when what they should be thinking about is their marriage. Bringing it to the wedding also makes just one more thing that they have to schlep home. Same goes for cash or card or whatever else that could be misplaced on the big weekend. Finally, IMHO, cash for dear friends for second marriage is not appropriate, whereas a specially picked out gift (even flying in the face of the no-gift rule) says a very personal message along the lines of "I could not help but think of you when I saw this, I could not resist."

So send it after they are back home with a nice note about how much you love them both.

Have a great time at the wedding!

I just got married in Oct, second wedding for both of us, destination and we too said "no gifts please". We got a lot of wedding cards with cash and restraunt gift certs which we really enjoyed. So although we were not expecting/wanting/needing anything, it was a nice surprise. P.S. From the brides perspective, the guests were paying just to GO to the wedding, we as a couple are already "established" in our home so we don't NEED anymore towels, etc, and to try to pack a gift was maybe to hard, so that is the reason's why we did it that way. Have fun!!!

I agree with what others said, YOU being there and paying the HUGE expense to attend their wedding is The GIFT! They know this and this is probably their way of honoring YOUR sacrifice to take on such a huge expense to be at their wedding.
Plus, the practicality of what someone else says makes total sense. No one wants to worry about carrying toasters & wash cloths after they got married:) It is hard enough to tote those gifts around when the wedding is Local. I can only imagine that would be even more stressful for those in a wedding like this wheere one has to travel.

Don't feel bad to honor their request. Your gift idea of the wall hanging sounds nice. Just mail it to them it will be a neat surprise. Plus,.. this IS their 2nd marriage and I am guessing they have enough toasters and home appliances for everyone;)

You sound like a good caring friend and I hope you enjoy the wedding!

Hi PJP Just send the wall hanging showing that you care for this special union. Since the invitation stated no gifts, than don't feel bad about not bringing one.

I would say it would be nice to have it shipped to them either prior or after the wedding. I think a card would be appropriate since they did request no gifts since they both probably have more than enough to set up their home.

Since this is their second marriage they probably have everything they need. Maybe they are looking for more of a cash gift to make home improvements. I would suggest doing a card with cash, or get them a gift certificate to their favorite resturant. Everyone needs to eat. :)

Respect the request they made and let go of your need to bring something. Being there to share the day with them seems to be the gift that they want. Enjoy the wedding and mini vacation.

Since its a 2nd for both, they probably don't know what to ask for/need. I would send the gift after the wedding to their house. Also, if you feel that you need to give a gift card or something, although you going to the wedding should be gift enough, a card to Bed Bath & Beyond would be good.

M.

Two years ago I remarried. Six years prior I had divorced after a 24 year marriage (I had two 20-something children by my first husband, one college student still living part-time with me.) My husband had divorced after a 25 year marriage, also having two 20-something children by his first wife. We debated a destination wedding but the bottom line is we didn’t want our friends and loved ones spending money to celebrate with us and we did want our large extended family and friends to share this day with us in celebration. So the wedding was held at my home church with a dinner reception following. The invitations clearly stated: “No gifts please.” The word was spread, no gifts please. Well I was advised to still place a table with a card basket…good thing because gifts and cards still arrived! We didn’t want gifts…we both had households and were attempting on combine them already. Gift cards, cash were generously given. Now someone had to take care of all this stuff because we left right after the reception to catch a plane to Hawaii. Now I had to write thank you notes…I didn’t want that task. But most importantly, we REALLY felt bad for the family and friends who adhered to our wishes who now felt embarrassed that they didn’t bring anything. Don’t give a gift if your friends wishes clearly stated not to. Seems to me your friends realize you are spending money to join them and that is most important to them and the gift in and of itself
As far as the plaque you purchased….well to me, unless this couple is young and plans on children… a plaque with that saying hangs over pictures of children of that marriage. Just a thought.